I know im not the only one who has said that line to themself now and then. But what else can i do, i can only stand here and comfort you...ive pretty much done everything i can. and yet im still in a lose & lose situation. Everytime i tell myself your not going to call back and you never do thats when i tell myself thats it im done. But im so hard headed !#@$@#$% My heart is not doing what my mind is telling it to do. Everytime i hear your voice it only gets my hopes up and i know i have to stop doing that. I keep telling myself that everytime i think of you and yet when the time comes. When im done brushing my teeth and washing my face and hop i in bed ...im still waiting for that phone call. I know it's never going to happen and im probably going to fall asleep before i hear that special lil ring tone i put up just for you. The alarm rings and i check my phone since the time is showing i know i have no missed calls. And thats when i start thinkin...what if it never really was.
i wish i could rub a lamp and have a genie come out...he wouldn't even have to give me all the wishes, for now i just want 1 to come true. Sometimes i know the feelings i have for her will never equal to the feelings she has for me especially when i know in my heart ` as much as i try to deny it. That if i were to look at her beautiful brown eyes that it wouldn't have the same sparkle when staring back at me. So ive figured out its better to accept what things have led to in silence other than anywhere else. Your not going to see me cutting myself but here standing tall eating my sunday bowl of cereal while watching the powerpuff girls zoom past the screen of my t.v I keep telling myself "time will give me the answers" i know that but i wanna be more specific, i wanna have something to look forward too when i turn off the alarm clock and take my first breath of the day. I want to know that today or the nextday is gonna be worth it. Cause right now...im just watching the clock as the seconds tic away and yet the question still lingers in my head, how long?, does she even miss me...
It's hard to go to sleep when the rain is tapping on your ceiling and you can't help but just stare up while laying in bed, wondering why the you keep thinking about the same things over and over again. I could be the funniest person one moment but when im alone i just start to think...and things..well things add up and next thing you know my cheek is wet. Maybe i just think to much. I wish i could just take all my thoughts out and just sit here all dummy like staring at the screen saver with nothing going through my head.
its the reason why i try to keep myself so busy at times because i don't wanna think of anything. Yet for some reason i keep getting the same feeling each time`each time she calls, each time i see her, everytime i look at her eyes. The things just keep going over and over again in my head. But then i think about it maybe im just seeing things that i want to see. That those clue's have always been there and my mind is just playing games. Ive tried...and maybe its just time to give up, im tired of having my heart hurting each time she tells me
well im not good with html so im not evengonna try to make this fancy =]
i just wanted to say wassup to everyone i just found this site from a book
i was reading and i wanted to check it out. im a bichick from the 2o6 ; seattle
i like to sleep but yeah thats about it
p.s i really like to sleep
p.s.s i like chocolate too
p.s.s.s actually i like a lot of stuff =]