So The Long Beach Pride festival is this weekend, and I really want to go but
1. My sister doesn't have any money and can't take me
and
2. My parents don't exactly know about me.

This sucks I want to go. Just to see what it's like. And to flirt with girls my age that will flirt back. I hate going to a school where the only people who are out to anybody are boys. :(

But today pretty much all the conversations I had involved something gay. It was weird. Someone different would always bring it up. It was kinda cool. Strange, but cool.

For some reason I have the urge to start wearing discreet gay/bi pride stuff to school just to see if my friends notice. Plus I want to come out. I don't know why. Maybe it's because I've been reading alot of gay teen fiction recently. Or maybe it's because I noticed the gay boy in my choir wearing a pride wristband.

Suddenly, I want to come out to everyone and everyone! But I'm still to scared to.

I was looking through the paper today, and apparently girl from a school in my city is suing the school district because the principal of her school told her to stop displaying affection for her girlfriend while on campus. The girl saw this as unfair because heterosexual couples were allowed to display affection, so she defied the principal, who then punished and suspended her.

Here is the article on the lawsuit from the OC Register (http://www.ocregister.com/ocr/2005/09/08/sections/local/local/article_66...):

I went to Comic Con today in San Diego. It was fun. I went to the Serenity panel.

Unfortunately, I didn't know that they were having a special screening of it tonight. *cries*

I want to see it sooooooooo badly.

Ok. I'm done complaining now.

...

or am I???

Is it sad that I'm am so excited that I get to go see a psycologist tommorrow? My mom found out about this program through my dad's work where I can get ten free visits.

Maybe this could really help me.

I certainly hope so.

Okay, here's my dilema. I want a girlfriend, but I don't want people I know to know about my sexuality.

So basically, I either have to come out, or I'm doomed to be single for the rest of my life, or at least until I statr liking guys again. Which isn't likely to happen anytime soon. Because guys suck.

I hate life.

It is 5:20 a.m. right now. I haven't slept at all. The sky is getting lighter, and the birds have started chirping. I know I should try to get some sleep, but I don't want to. I just want to cry.

I want to be in a relationship so badly. I need someone in my life. I just found out that my county's GLBT center is in my city, which got me all excited. But then I remembered: I'm not out to my parents, and I can't drive.

Something very strange and unexpected happened today. I came out to two of my friends. Not my closest friends, but still...I CAME OUT TO SOMEONE!!!

Looking back on it, it all seems very surreal. We were sitting in a choir practice room, talking. Somehow we got on the topic of how guys like lesbians and bisexual girls. Then something happend, and next thing I know, I am telling Jon and Megan that I'm bi. They were totally cool with it too. Megan seemed surprised, and maybe a little freaked, but Jon just told that his ex-girlfriend was bi as well.

My life has finally started to get back on track. I still have ocassional breakdowns, but overall, I am doing much better. I'm still not as happy i was, say, two years ago, but i think i might be on my way to being that happy.
One thing that helped me start getting over my depression was a talk with my friend Megan. We've known each other since first grade and have always been good friends, but lately we have been drifting apart. I slept over at her house at the end of last month, and we just talked for over three hours. Apparently she is battling depression also. She is also anorexic. We have a good understanding of eachother now and promised to not keep secrets anymore. I was going to tell her that I'm bisexual, but I couldn't. I'm not ready yet.

So yesterday I had a complete mental brakedown. I don't know what's wrong with me. I don't care about anything. The only thing I know is that I am psycologically f*cked up. It also doesn't help that I'm sick physically as well as mentally. I just wish that I could be myself again instead of an empty shell.

The other night, I had a really strange dream.
I was at school, and it was just a normal day, except that I didn't have any classes. Well, something happened (I don't remember) and then I'm walking around school with this girl I know, Krystal. We just walked around, holding hands, talking, and laughing. When we got to the middle of the quad area, we stop walking. Then, she kissed me!

Well, today was a pretty good day. I got up at 5.45, ate breakfast, and then fell back asleep. This is a habit that I've had since infancy: Get up, eat, and then take a nap. I ended up being rushed and got to zero period a few minutes late, but that's not so unusual.I was in a trance for most of my classes, so I don't remember much.
At lunch, my boyfriend broke up with me. I feel bad about it, because i don't feel sad. I shuold have broken up with him a few weeks ago. I jsut, didn't feel the same way i did on the first few days we went out. This happened with my last boyfriend too. i just, really don't want to be with a guy right now. If I'm going to be in a relationship, I want it to be with a girl. I jus haven't anyone yet.

Hello Everyone!
My name is Erin. I'm almost 16. I discovered that I was bisexual two years ago, but I haven't told anyone about it yet. I'm afraid that I'll disappoint my parents because they already know that my big sis is bi. They'll think that I'm just copying her. Well, I don't exactly know what to write. What really inspired me to find a GLB websites was when I went to Disneyland yesterday. It is Gay Day 2 over there. I couldn't go today and wear a red shirt, because i didn't have a ride there, but I'm already making plans for next year!