me and my friend agrred that if she were gay she would so date. an dthen just to pic on thi shomo phobe at our theater we told her that we were going out. and we boh got real into it. lik eshe would sit on each others lap and be all over eachother. and tell echothe rthat we love the. an dnow we do this all the time. an di now really lik eher. and i am thinking of asking her out caus eit wouldnt be much of a leap.

i sat don on the white sheet emiko ha dlaid out for us. the wet grass crunchin as i did it. the cld of the night settled into us as we sat in careful silence. there was emotion between us. one so strong i hurt. i longed to touch her to wrap my arm around her and give into my desire. she long o let me. but things get in th eway of love. her boyfriedn sat down in between us, severing our connection. i longed for tat sweet ache of wanting, needing that i knew so well. it was the fourth of july and the night was col dbut i shivered for a different reason, i was col din spirit now.the fireworks as usal were delayed an dwe three sat there in awkward silence. emikos boyfriedn saw beach buddies of his from far away an dran off to say hi. he left us to not knowing what we would do. what i would do. i inched closer to emiko so afriad she would pull back. but sh edidnt she meet my wanting gaze an dmatched it with her own, but somthing lrked there. somthing that threatened to break us apart. we heard th ehiss of a fire work being launche dinto th eair an dknew it was time. she knew it was time fo rher boyfriedn to com eback an dlooked away nervously. i knew it was time to take a chance . as the of the firework lit up th esky i pressed our lips together which wa snot hard as we were already so close. if the ache was already powerful with out us touching it tore me apart from the inside out. it was a glorious pain. the sweet taste of giving in, succumbing to your own desires is truly the sweetest sin. i pulled back with a smile of satisfaction on my face, and in her eyes i saw happiness. but then th edarkness that lurked in there passed in fron t of us. he rface grew cold. she gaze dacross th efeil dat her boyfriend.

i had this major crush on this guy for a long time and then the school year ended by then everyone knew i likednew that i liked him and i had planned to hook up with him over the summer and he would be going to my highschool in a year so i had big plans. then my friend goes behind my back and asks him out. i had to find out from my best friend and she doesnt even care im hurt and soo does not get it. she doesnt understand. and my other friend doesnt even like him she is just doing this to piss me off.

i met thi sreally awesome gir at theater, sh ewas totally awesome. bright pink hair an da personality to match. she lik eto i dunno a wor dfor it cuddle with me...whatever so stupid me i thought she liked me. so i admitted to liking her whil eplaying truth an ddare. sh efound out and went behind my back an dcalled me a dike. then i see her at th emall. sh eruns up to me and huggs and kisses me then she was liek hi im here with my boyfriend come meeet him. tyurns out that th etime she wass hitting on me her boyfriend was out of town, so i was her back up or what ever. then while at th emall she tries to set me up with he bi friedn an dher friedns boyfriend was standing right there! it porobably didnt bothe rthem because all four of them have foursomes all th etime. buti declined and so did the bi friend. that was last summer now im gonna see her this summer and im scared i might fall for her again. what am i to do.

its been along tim esince i ve written but not much has changed. i dunno what to say. oh bot do i have story. this guy was hitting on me constantly an dwe were always flirting i mean always and in a snowball fit h ekinda got carrie daway tackling me, so i figured he liiked me. so during clas i would let him feel up on my chest an dthat went on for like three weeks then i hear that th eentire tim ehe was going behind my back tellin everyone what i slut i was! i was so mad th enext tim ei caught him touching me i threatened his life. so he goe sto everyone an dtell them im a psyco bitch. then he an dhis friedns start thorwing rocks at me after school. i tol dthe principal all this and her big punishment: they had to apologize! what the hell is that! omg! it pissed me off so much so after school i told them that trh enext time they do somthing like that i would break that arms. they know i am sooo much stronger than them so they backed off, alittle. god! now when guys start hitting on me i feel lik etheir using me like him. its awful

okay i met this girl over the summer. dominique an dshe was the most amazing gilr in the world. i couldnt stop thinking about her. we went to the sam etheater and stuff. she was wow! i cant even decribe her. i got her phone number but i cant bring myself to call her. god i miss her. maybe i should write her a poem. i seem to be good at that. i would like some advice on this. i know you uy sdont really know her but somthing in my heart tell me if i had the chance to kiss her she would kiss me back. maybe its only a fantasy but hey its my fantasy. god i love her. she dyed her hair cherry pink over the summer. it was so hot.

i cam eout to my striaght crush an dshe was soo cool about it. she was like. well i could have guessed that and i tol dher i expectd her to freak out and she was like why would i do that?.
it was awesome, but meani=while i know nothing can happen, beacuse
a she is straight
b her dad hates gay people.
anyhow i was suppossed to go out with ths guy i like but he couldnt come but really wante dto so we ar egoing to hang out next weekend.

wish i had a party to go to. i love parties they are the bomb! oh yeh! gonna see a movie. i should call emiko. ignoring the attraction doesnt seem to be working, i nee dto find a different distraction. i should call one of my guy friends. they are good at distracting me. but they are at a football game. hope they win. i got some pretty good books at the library, no vampire ones. the dad wouldnt let me.

I stood watching the path from her house into the park. Waiting for her to come meet me. She had called me earlier today with panic in her voice and told me to meet her here. This is where we used hang out when we were kids. It was a gray worn bench surrounded by daffodils, our favrite flowers. Sarah had been the first person i had come out to. she had th ebest reaction in the world. She hugged me tight and whispered in my ear "I don't care. You know I will always be there for you." her words warmed me just thinking of them. And she always was there. She was there when I told my parents and she was there when they kicked me out.. That was over a year ago and now I was living with my cousin down the street. I sat on the stone bench looking down at the ant hill by my feet. They were so busy that they hardly noticed me. Sarah cast her shadow around me when she arrived. Sarah had walked up on me so quietly I hadn't heard her.. she sat down next to me silently and rested her head on my shoulder. We watched bees come and go from the bright yellow Daffodils. she exhailed loudly and truned to face me. I could see pain in he reyes. Oh how i hated to see her upset. It plunged ice cold daggers in my heart.

the nymph of my dreams
stands before me
smiling
laughing
my soul is lifted
by her music
her languid body moves
like a snake in the
bushes
she hypnotizes me
with a mysterious
magic of dance
dance
oh how she dances
i float on the breeze
im so light
we dance
dance
under the moon
my soul
tearns
just to
feel the
kiss
The kiss
the climax of the dance
The kiss
her full lips on

i am soo bored. its the weekend an di have nothing to do. school has bombarded my life with a ton of homework an dnow im falling fo rmy best friend. oddly i dont feeling depressed. maybe to many happy pills. my best friend was the first person i came out to an dno wi hav ethis horrible crush on her. wehang out all the tim ean dhe rmom loves me but her dad is a total homom hater cause his brotehr is gay.

okay i went to this wicked awesome party and pretty open about being bi with these poeple so i was flirting alot with thi sgirl jenny but then thi sguy came and i felt really attracted to him and was all over him an dlater on i kepting thinking what the hell is wrong with me? is it normal to be all over a girl then a guy and back and forth again? i dunno. but it was a wicke dawesome party. this girl an dthe guy and i took a steam shower.