As a short personal update, Im doing ok. I've been more dazed and confused (I love that phrase muchly) lately than usual, maybe becuase of my meds, maybe daylight savings time, maybe I've contracted a fatal illness, who knows. I have a thing for this kid, but I have no idea if it will work out as we don't know each other very well. School sucks. Between school and family responsibility I will never have a real life. I next to never see my friends or get out or do anything; I missed a gay dance to babysit my sister, and the circumstances just suck. I feel like I'm half adult, half sixteen year old. I'd like to be able to act my age -or at least something closer to it- for once without having to worry about my responsibilities. But life goes on. The bells gonna ring, I have to go, much love!

I think Im going to be ill. I mean, what in the Seven Hells? They've already broken up twice! What is going on?! I am so confused.... Did they honestly manage to fall in love or whatever in under a day, or am I reading this wrong? Added to the fact that both of the last times they went out it lasted all of a month for multiple reasons I played sympathetic ear too. I don't mind listening when things are in the rough, thats not what I'm saying, but you'd think I'd be kept informed when she's happy as well? If all these things were wrong enough with him last time for her to break up with him -twice-, why does it look as though they are going back out? Argg, Im so confused.

Happy National Coming Out Day!

I was going to say this to you, but you left before I could finish typing. But it needs to be said, and you need to hear it, so I

everyone is saying they haven't posted in a while. So I guess it my turn, even though its a shorter while.

My brother and my mum just had this huge fight. I don't know who's right or wrong, I just don't want them to hate each other anymore!

inspired! ^_^ (and a screaming fit substitute, but 'ells, whos counting....)

Let Him Fly
Dixie Chicks
Fly

Ah. It was fabulous. I really needed it.

Artist : Pink
Song : Split Personality
Album : Can't Take Me Home

Just because the world isn

"Wholesale Meat and Fish" by Letter to Cleo

Its been a long day, but I can't make myself end it, or take the nesissary steps so that I can end it. So while procrastinating, I dug up my brother's livejournal again.

Communication is a lot like the wind,
When I speak, It's like no one understands and I'm left with empty hands,
Forever I can't speak, So many things I'll never learn
You can't cross bridges that you've burned,

Why is life such an issue in your mind?
Why are the answers to my problems hard to find? So hard to find

Lisa and I talked and we aren't fighting anymore so that just completely brightened my day. It really did. Its so great to be able to talk to her without worrying if shes pissed at me or not. Yay!
It turned out that I talked to the kid who told her I said those things, and mentioned one of the things casually and he denied saying it. I saved the convo and showed her, and now we are at peace again.

today a four year old gave me the finger and told me 'fuck you!'

Sister Hazel - Your Winter

The grey ceiling on the earth
Well it's lasted for a while
Take my thoughts for what they're worth
I've been acting like a child
In your opinion, and what is that?
It's just a different point of view

What else can I do?
I said I'm sorry, yeah I'm sorry.
I said I'm sorry , but for?
If I hurt you then I hate myself
Don't want to hate myself, don't want to hurt you

I was thinking today, and I realized how much smarter and better informed homosexual have to be. I have to:
- learn self defense so I don't get beat up
- stay informed so I can make sure to get my rights
- understand politics so I can stay informed.

Seriously, Im going to take akido in a year or two when an instructor comes up from cali so I don't get beaten up for being a fag, I have to figure out politics soon, and I hate politics, voting really isn't much of an option if I want to adopt kids later. I have to work so much harder and be a so much better citizen and smarter person because Im queer.

America is supposed to be so free. But we're wasting it. Wasting all our chances. We could be utopia. We could be heaven, we could be angels. We could grow wings and fly if we let ourselves. But we're to held down by our own blindness to fly. Im not patriotic in the strictest sense. I don't put up flags or even say the pledge, but maybe its just my way of loving this country. I see what we could be, and it makes me so sad it burns my heart.