saturday was trans day of remembrance. did you know? didn't think so. there's a website here. the whole day has issues around race and class and who the "we" of trans communities is, but whatever you want to say about it it's a day to observe the lives of people killed in the past year due to anti-trans hatred and bias. it's an important day.

i was interviewed for a job the other day, one that my husband referred me to...

there are a lot of things called boy meets boy - comic strip, book, crappy tv show notworthyofalink. . .

i just finished the book, and gee does the amazon reader sum it up well when they offer the review that "This book is very offensive and misleading. The Sodomite life style is not fun and games. It is destructive, and it is a lie to portray it as normal and fun. What a travestiy to encourage our teens to enter into this life style."

somebody brought up first kisses. they were older and played the game of "back in my day didn't have peer support like the internet or gay/straight alliances, so we often had straight first kisses!" i had a straight first kiss, even though i started a gay/straight alliance. i was in heavy denial in middle school and fooled around too much with boys. so my first kiss was with one of them, although i ended up not so much kissing them as other things.

my boyfriend has come to two family holidays now. it's a sticky situation because they don't know i'm trans. since in their eyes i'm a woman and as such a lesbian, in their eyes he is a girl. and i am called my birth name.

i miss the time when words would roll off of my fingers so smoothly and sweetly. all that is left are mundane logs about my days and my loves. i strain to get the words back, perhaps this can be an avenue.

there is so much old stuff. . . my favorite piece is probably my bi poem, but i'm not bisexual. . . i'm not with that girl. . . i'm not even that person. and it all feels so dated.