Soft Focus

niks121997 — Tue, 28 Apr 2009 06:54:18 +0400

I walked in the rain tonight. Unthinking and unfeeling, simply letting the water fall onto my bare arms, as I stood still in the school playground near my apartment. Watching rain drops cling to the new growth on the budding trees and catching sight of a rabbit scampering through the bushes, the world was in soft focus because I left my glasses and contacts behind. Hoping that something-the rain, the night, the silence- will trigger an emotional response.

Path

niks121997 — Fri, 06 Feb 2009 09:08:43 +0300

I just took a quick spin down the path of Oasis’ past, back in my early posting days, in search of something…I’m not quite sure what. Maybe someday soon I’ll realize my guiding fiction as much as possible and trace my line of movement to the best of my ability. Constructive, creative, active. I have Individual Psychology in my head, forgive me. But it was lovely re-reading entries of those who have left their mark and departed, contributing to the growth and evolution of the community.

Mirror, Mirror

niks121997 — Tue, 19 Aug 2008 23:59:01 +0400

What do you see when you look in the mirror?

A (Almost) Familiar Feeling

niks121997 — Wed, 16 Jul 2008 00:42:17 +0400

What is this sharp feeling in my chest that strikes without warning, tiny slivers of emotion? It is distantly familiar, a blur in the back of my mind. Welcome in its implication. Nearly forgotten but entirely recognizable.

This feeling I'm having?

It is contact and relation. Connection.

I miss someone.

Forward

niks121997 — Thu, 19 Jun 2008 07:32:30 +0400

Last night I began to delete my old posts, and tonight I finished the job. For someone with a faulty memory and a reliance on the written word to recall events in her life, this is quite the action.

I deleted three-fourths of what was written here. Not that I think this is of monumental importance or even is noteworthy but still I document it.

Yin and Yang

niks121997 — Sat, 24 May 2008 03:11:31 +0400

Becoming. Growth. Change. Redefinition. Dynamic. Trying to be your best self, your ideal self, that vision in your head of who you could be if only…

Making the decision to act, to identify and try to fix your problems.

Choosing not to stand still. Taking the first step.

Little Light

niks121997 — Thu, 24 Apr 2008 06:04:09 +0400

Playing rummy online with one of my school friends, he mentioned this song:

You're gonna miss this
You're gonna want this back
You're gonna wish these days hadn't gone by so fast
These are some good times
So take a good look around
You may not know it now
But you're gonna miss this

Which somehow led me to this:

Say you're happy now, once more with feeling!

Saturday Shenanigans

niks121997 — Tue, 04 Mar 2008 04:47:41 +0300

I went out Saturday night.

Lune

niks121997 — Tue, 26 Feb 2008 06:53:10 +0300

She sits in the middle of the bed staring straight ahead, greeting the morning sun, alone and unafraid. The sun shatters the darkness of the room but is not entirely reflected within.

Nearly Silent Whispers

niks121997 — Mon, 28 Jan 2008 06:14:04 +0300

Something I said a few years ago has remained in the back of my mind, silent for the most part but occasionally whispering in deceptively dulcet tones. “I’ve never really “failed” at anything academic but neither have I truly wanted something either. Watch, I’ll fall flat on my face when it comes to something I deeply care about and desire.”

Music & Memories

niks121997 — Sat, 12 Jan 2008 09:51:19 +0300

“Brand New Man” plays on my iTunes followed by “My Maria” and “Neon Moon.”

No More Cops & Robbers

niks121997 — Sat, 15 Dec 2007 08:12:19 +0300

I enjoy seeing and talking to people I haven't seen in quite a while. It's intriguing listening to their stories, following them as they retrace the steps in their lives, highlighting important events. It’s a pleasant surprise that jolts you out of your current state, causing you to reflect on the past and allowing appreciation for the journey taken to take root.

Revival

niks121997 — Mon, 03 Dec 2007 01:47:08 +0300

“All this I swallow and it tastes good…I like it well, and it becomes mine,
I am the man…I suffered…I was there.”

November

niks121997 — Sun, 18 Nov 2007 06:46:22 +0300

Yesterday morning as I was riding my bike to work I sorely wished I had brought my camera. The last traces of autumn stubbornly cling to the falling leaves as winter creeps onto the scene with its telltale cold dry air.

Life In Snippets

niks121997 — Sat, 10 Nov 2007 22:18:55 +0300

“Open it,” my father says over his shoulder as he stands on a ladder applying a second layer of paint to our garage. This has been a year of renovations for my family. Gone is the tree with the birdfeeder, now reduced to a stump in the backyard. The single bathroom in the house has been transformed nearly beyond recognition and there’s talk of laying carpet in the living room to mask the battered wooden floor.