So I've been thinking about my chosen name (the name that eventually and hopefully will be my legal name) and I'm wondering when to use it.
I don't know when to start asking people to use it. I know for damn sure I'm not transitioning until after I get out of the dorms.
Even if I wanna wait, the name I chose still feels weird to me. I want to feel more comfortable with it.
Is there anybody on here that could help me out? Advice? Anything?
This whole experience is kinda lonely and difficult and I need someone or some people to listen.
Today, I went to the college's campus counseling center.
Walking over, my mind was spinning and my heart was pumping out of my chest. So nervous.
I tried to tell myself that this is just a baby step to help me out. It doesn't make me "crazy" or "abnormal" just for asking for some help.
My other side was completely freaking out thinking how in the hell I can tell a complete stranger all of the shit that I think about. But hey, worth a shot right?
My first appointment is tomorrow. I'm nervous but a little excited.
Some days are better than others for me.
Today was not so great. This past weekend I spent time with my girlfriend who I haven't seen in a month. It was amazing finally seeing her.
Which made leaving for campus on Sunday unbearable.
I barely slept and sobbed all night. Just depressing.
The day was better. I slapped my "happy face" on, blared Mumford and Sons and went on my way.
I'm new. The name's Charlie (one of my own creation that I'm still getting used to.)
I'm pretty positive that I'm trans* but as of now I'm sticking with genderqueer.
Talking about this is basically terrifying because I have only ever told my girlfriend about me thinking I might be trans*.
I'm in college and living on a floor with girls and having to share a communal bathroom with them is terrifying.
I fell horrendously out of place.
But then again I don't seem to fit any where.
Anyway, hello and hopefully I'll be posting on here for awhile.