What yould you do ?

NickBoy — Mon, 23 Jul 2012 23:54:47 +0400

Ok , Im happy that there are a few people on here that care and try their best to give me advice , but im not miserable 24/7 , I just get very depressed and upset when someone brings the same thing that haunts me up . How would you deal with my situation , would you tell your family whats bothering you , or do you bottle it up until your 18 so you can be on your own and not surround yourself with them . Im also learning how to accept the blunt truth and I thank you all for telling me the hard truth that is painful to come and realize .

a poem i wrote in the beginning of the year . (Copy/Past)

NickBoy — Mon, 23 Jul 2012 01:49:49 +0400

I hate ..
My mom
my life
my style
my appearance
my family
gods ppl
God
Satan
the world
my ability
my strength
my house
Kids at school
:)

Why ?

.::

NickBoy — Mon, 23 Jul 2012 01:45:22 +0400

i also come on here to find people who have similar situations or know soneone with these situations of getting caught doing homosexual acts and others/family judging them in harmful ways . I try to be strong (Bad Bitch) , and tell myself im the strongest person on earth but i build myself up just to be snatched down . I use the term (Bad Bitch) to build my confidence because Bad Bitches are people who live their lives not caring about anything and have no feelings .

:)(:

Todays Diary <3

NickBoy — Mon, 23 Jul 2012 01:38:56 +0400

Well , since my brother brought up the situation of me and my cousen notifying her and my sister i was gay because of it , I havent went up stairs to talk or see them none today and its 4:31 p.m . It sucks ! I can just look at them yesterday when they walk past and dont want anything to do with me knowing the fact that i might be gay . like coming out to them is defenitly not a option now , ill just let them find out on their own when I become a pop star when im older . I cant survive these last 3 years being in a house full of disgust .

Gay should equal Happy right ?

NickBoy — Sun, 22 Jul 2012 05:03:50 +0400

I just look at straight people with children and livin a happy life and despise them because they were not born gay . Its not my FUCKING fault , and i have people judging me with their disguting looks and the things they say . no one wants to be around Nick , and i can just look at my mothers face and tell she wishes she had a more athletic , cute , ladys man as a son and not some sensitive female-like child . Im just tired of life . u may see it as a little problem if your not gay yourself , but its huge and determines your mood most of the time

I am Hurt so bad

NickBoy — Sun, 22 Jul 2012 04:32:23 +0400

Im a 15 year old boy . Im battling with being gay and I dont want to be gay . I imagine having a wife with kids but Im just not attracted to females for some odd reason . Well , it was a couple a months ago when I was spending a night at my cousens house , all night we seemed to be flirting and I got a few gay vibes for him . So when we were about to go to sleep , i was so tempted , got under the covers with him and got on top of him (THATS IT) hes 15 too , and he turned over and said "What you doin." He left the room and waited until i was sleep to come back to the bed and sleep .