ok, J an I were supposed to go to a rehersal today for a small movie we're going to be in. She knows the locations of the places because she gets the emails from the director. I don't. We're bother extras so its nothing big.
its been forever since ive written partially because i had written but accidentally clicked the wrong button and it went away and i was too lazy to write it all over again.
well ive worked for 3 days straight and am aching all over.
but the good thing was this lady that comes into my work sometimes, came in today. she says to me "I came back yesterday and you had left. I wanted to talk to you"
I feel like crying. Even though I saw J yesterday and will see her tommorrow, I feel so empty. Her bfriend isn't making this any easier. He knows everything thats going on between J and I and he's not putting up a fight or anything. Don't get me wrong I don't want to steal her from him. It's just I'm frustrated that she's not making a choice. I know she feels for me the way I do for her. But she's afraid to leave her bfriend. I wish I knew what was going on in her mind so that I could help but i know this is something she has to work out on her own. It's just tearing my heart apart though.
it's 1:27 in the morning. I'm here with J and her b-friend at his house. we were surfing the net and i felt like blogging so here i am. my brain is not working and i am surprised i can spell though i have this lack of real punctuation
I was helping a friend at her house that she's moving into. Ya know doing the usual painting, etc. I went to check the rooms out, and came upon what was going to be her bedroom. I didn't know she was in the room over and saw me go inside. I had seen the closet and thought to check it out for space...
Alright, I'm semi- envious of the person that had it easy coming out. I went through my 3rd session of coming out to my Dad and Step-Mom. it was pretty interesting. I should first tell you, that my graduation was this past weekend. It went well. That's why my Dad and Step-Mom were up here. It was great seeing them again.
not much really to say, wanted to write. my heart is going into bleak place. I wont get to see her everyday anymore. well they say absense makes the heart grow fonder. well, we'll see if thats true. It was true back in february
who brought passion back in my life
whose name and face are the stars in my sky
I want to hold you close
let your warmth be my blanket (wow that sounds sketchy)
can I be your pillow?
I can't help my feelings. I've gone over to her house a few more times since last I wrote. The feelings just keep getting stronger. It seems I love her more than ever. I've written quite a number of poems and stories about her and some for her. Am I obsessed? Or am I just in love?
So much has happened between J and I but so little said. Car rides that I didn't want to end, Like I just wanted the world to stop so we could be together forever.
well, I had a chorus concert to got to and J went. After that we went to a carnaval. Our friend N and J's bfriend S was there to. It was pretty great.
Yeah, when I wrote last about my second coming out, the mother being was kind of shall we say, unsupportive. She's comin around I think. I got a book from my counsoler called "loving someone Gay". Good book btw.
I desided to tell my mom I'm no longer bi, but a lesbian. This didn't go well. I should have kept my mouth shut. I really should have...
We talked last night and it turns out she does like me! I'm thrilled! Estatic! *melts* it's great! does anyone listen to t.A.T.u?