Right, I haven't written an entry for a couple of days because I've been busy watching plays and shit. Yeah, I watched 'Tis Pity She's A Whore yesterday, was pretty fucked up. That's not really helpful to talk about... ummm... yeah so that meant I got back really late and barely got any sleep so I was pretty damn tired this morning. I had a free first lesson though, which I thought would be helpful, but no, AR was there so I couldn't sleep and I spent the whole hour feeling really tense and awkward and generally uncomfortable. How can she do that to me? It's ridiculous.

So, I was thinking, and I thought to myself, I feel quite sad. I hate it. I don't want to be sad. So I thought how I might go about curing this sadness and apathetic-ness that is my current mood, and I thought, I'm just gonna be happy. I like being happy, it makes me happy, strangely enough. Obviously, there are a few things that have to be tweaked in order to achieve this happiness, but ultimately, I just need to be happy. I'm going to go to bed before 11 every night so I get a good 8 hours sleep.

So... I'm feeling very apathetic. I shall talk about my day, because I don't really have any thoughts in my head right now

8am - woke up, ate breakfast.
9am - washed
9:30am - parents went out, did some singing and dancing, as you do.
11am - ate some icing sugar, as you do.
11:30am - parents returned, took me to a friend's house for a concert thing, we did some rehearsing and stuff.
3:30pm - concert started
5:30pm - concert finished.
6:15pm - got home in time to watch Liverpool vs. Cardiff penalties.
6:30pm - just surfed the internet and Facebook and stuff.

I have just watched the End of the Affair. I am, therefore, feeling pretty damn depressed. It's definitely not the most uplifting of films. Kind of wish I'd read the book first, I shall do that as soon as possible. I cried a lot, which is quite embarrassing, I always cry at films, and books. I cried solidly through HP and the deathly hallows part 2. Both times I saw it. It was a crap film but it was more the significance of it you know.

So I just posted a Facebook status asking if anyone wanted to come to a concert, and AR commented asking where it was! She then immediately went offline, but hey, she commented, this means she thought about me. It was a wonderful (and pathetic) feeling. I'd imagine she just wants to know then she'll go with a bunch of her friends. I'm pretty sure she will have gone to college in Holland somewhere by then anyway.. We can but hope.

You know what’s wonderful about this site - everyone assumes you’re gay. Makes a nice change.

I may have said I would only post in the mornings, but I changed my mind. After today, I shall do it in the evenings.

So. I have spent a large portion of the day listening to James Blunt, just to give you an idea of the state I am in… “You’re beautiful… I will never be with you…” and all that shizzle. It’s been huge fun. Bear in mind I usually listen to people like Bellowhead and I’m From Barcelona.

I know I only just posted a journal entry, but there you go. I enjoyed it.

This may only be the fifth time I have come out, but I'm really starting to get pissed off with it. It takes me at least 3 hours to get it out (this was the record time last night) and I get so damn nervous.

So this is how it goes. About a year ago I went through the whole process of coming to terms with the fact that I was bi. It took me about 6 months to deal with it and finally come out to a couple of my friends who were both cool with it. Although, I have now grown apart from one of them for different reasons, (she’s just quite annoying really. Plus she hangs out with these other kids now who I find really very boring). Anyway, the other friend has a boyfriend and they’ve been together for ages and she spends pretty much all her time with him and I never see her.