...What's your favorite kind of Pop Tart?

Ohbytheway...here are 4 cool songs you might enjoy:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Li2PVKMZCo4
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jhC1pI76Rqo
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z05Yvk47t0g
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OPXUeeFXc90

In my AP English class, we've been reading rhetorics by Aristotle and Nietzsche and other really well-known philosophers. And I must say, it is some very interesting stuff. I particularly love Nietzsche, even though many find him offensive. Anyway, we've also been discussing happiness and what it means to be truly happy. Discussing happiness is very frustrating. I mean, there are SO many ways to define it.

I have decided to post one of my poems. I wrote this about a year ago, towards the end of my freshman year, but I recently made some changes to it. This is a huge step for me, because I've never shared my poetry with anyone before, except for Amber. That being said, I would love some HONEST feedback. If you hate it, just tell me. I need some constructive criticism, so all opinions are welcome.

Forever the Antagonist
By Jenna

Come, faceless liar
Take comfort in my affliction
It's my weakness you desire
So satisfy your twisted addiction

How dare you label me pathetic

For those of you who don't know, I'm a (wannabe) poet and writer. I use to write, like, one poem a day. But I haven't finished a poem in months. When I sit down and try to write something, I just...can't do it. I have ideas in my head, phrases that would go great in a poem, but I am no longer capable of putting it on paper. This bothers me. I would normally dismiss it as a case of writer's block, but writer's blocks don't typically last for 8 months. Meehhh I wanna write a poem, damn it! I have so many great ideas!

Is anybody else getting really tired of turning on the TV and hearing about the royal wedding with Prince William and that Kate lady? I don't see the big deal, and that's not because I'm an ignorant American. The royal family doesn't even have any political power. They just have lots of money and servants. They'll probably just get divorced within 4 months anyway. So, yeah. I just don't see why every news broadcast or talk show in America is fussing over it. ANNOYING.

So, what's your favorite cereal? Mine is Cinammon Toast Crunch. Yummy.

Looks like I'm not working at the pet store after all :( Which really sucks, because I was really looking forward to petting the animals. I've applied to Shopko, a different pet store, County Market, Papa John's, and the local bowling alley. Of these, I'm really hoping for either the other, smaller pet store or the bowling alley. Working at the bowling alley would be so super easy. And I enjoy bowling. So I've got my fingers crossed. Finding a job is more difficult than I thought :|

I'm just sitting here, eating goldfish crackers, watching Cops. My Easter was quite lovely, if you disregard the fact that I was forced to go to my grandma's extremely old school church. Man, those people are so depressing. "Your life has no meaning." "We're all wasting away second by second." "The Lord will punish you for wearing sinful clothing!" Bleh. I swear, the people at my grandma's church condemn anything that is fun or doesn't conform. Fun and individuality are SINS. I don't need to hear that.

Well, I've been wanting to read the Satanic Bible. Wait! Before you guys freak out, I must make it very clear that I don't want to convert to Satanism. I love reading about different philosophies and religions, and I'm curious as to what Satanism is about. And no, it's not all voodoo rituals and blood sacrifices. Anyway, a man named Anton Szander LaVey wrote the Satanic Bible in which he pretty much sums up his ideas about religion and society. I want to buy it, but when my mom learned that I was gonna try and read it, she FLIPPED.

I want to change my account picture, but some unseen force will not allow me to do so. I've punched my laptop in the face four times now and I need a solution!

Yesterday I had a wonderful session with my therapist. I told her about those racy fantasies I've been having lately, and she basically restated what you guys have told me. That it's completely normal and actually very healthy and natural. We also started discussing the book, another thing I wrote about recently. Very nice, hearing her input about everything. I always feel at peace when I leave her office. She makes me feel good about being who I am.

Bleh. Curse my weird hormones. I've been having, umm, fantasies about girls lately. And when I say girls, of course I'm referring to mainly Amber. The thing is, when I first realized I was in love with Amber, the furthest I imagined us going was cuddling...with clothes on, of course. And maybe a few kisses. My love for her was so pure and innocent and puppy-like. But now...my fantasies are becoming more erotic and racy. I imagine her naked and...well, I won't go into explicit detail.

My therapist gave me this book about sexuality to read. There's a lot of interesting stuff in it, but it's loaded with too many statistics. For example, this book says that gay people are, like, ten times more likely to experience depression and suicidal thoughts. Gee, that makes me feel great. But it also had a reassuring section saying that you don't need to have sex to figure out your sexuality. Does a heterosexual guy need to fuck a girl to figure out if he's straight? No. That's basically the book's arguement. That makes me feel sooo much better.

My party was last night. Half the people I invited never showed up, but it was still amazing. I danced like a diseased elephant, but I didn't care cuz everyone was making a fool out of themselves dancing. After the party, 4 of my friends and I went to my house and watched horror movies and laughed until we almost pissed ourselves and played ping pong. They're all asleep downstairs as I'm writing this. All in all, my 16th birthday was wonderful. And adding up all the money I got from friends and relatives, I am now about 250 dollars richer. Woot!

Today's my birthday! I'm officially 16 years old! Woo! I feel as though life has gone by so quickly. Seems like just yesterday I was only 12 years old...Now I'm thinking about cars and college and jobs and adult stuff. Well, I could write more, but I think that's all I'll write for now. Adios!

Hehehe, I should be writing an English paper right now. We're reading The Winter of Our Discontent, by John Steinbeck. Keep in mind that I LOVE books of all genres. So people are shocked when I tell them that I just don't like John Steinbeck. It's not that he's an "old school author." I simply don't enjoy his style, or the stories he tells. The Winter of Our Discontent is impossible to make any sense of. People are having random conversations that don't make sense, and the whole plotline is SOOOO boring. I get the gist of what's happening, but it just isn't an enjoyable reading experience.