So today I started high school, which was overwhelming.
And I learned that my crush is crushing on a guy, and seems straight, but half of the friends she introduced me to totally set of my gaydar, thus proving the possibilities available in high school. I know she's not crushing on me, which is sad, but what I was expecting, so not too sad, and I'm actually excited about the prospects of meeting people who have an increased likelihood of crushing on me when I crush on them and perhaps more relevantly, understand what it's like to not be straight. High school could be good.
I actually slept last night, which was good.
So, I guess I wanted to put my coming out story here, for some reason. The following paragraphs are an excerpt from a letter I wrote to one of my favorite authors, who so happens to be lesbian so when I wrote to tell her how much I loved her book I put my coming out story in there as well. Here goes.
I think I'm going crazy.....again.
This time the culprit is RLS....also crushes.
To explain: I'm a bit of a control freak, not when it comes to what other people do, but when it comes to me; myself, my work (both academic and fun) my stuff. I simply cannot stand when I can't have some semblance of control over my thoughts (this is why I hate pain meds, and laughing gas) if I can't control what's inside my head, what can I control?
let's begin with a story.
I'm PMSing, which means I don't feel inclined to do anything at all, because that's what happens when I PMS. I lose all motivation, also I get cranky and angsty.
Which is maybe why I feel extra-agnsty right now...like there's something pressing down on my chest and surrounding me in dark, angstyness.
And it's raining, which doesn't help.
Don't get me wrong, I love rain, but rain reminds me of Nathalie, who is currently, unintentionally, contributing to the whole angst thing.
I just got home from spending a month at camp.
All went well.
I had two roommates. One was my ex-girlfriend. Fortunately, we broke up nearly a year ago and are really good friends, but it was still pretty awkward. My other roommate kept pestering me about boys (including my ex's twin brother :D ) and I kept dropping not-so-subtle hints and refraining from laughing. It was even more funny cause my ex caught all the hints and my other roommate didn't.
I was watching some of 8: The Mormon Proposition by myself (and home alone) which was probably a really bad idea since the trailer made me cry, and it scared the shit out of me...I live in a liberal city in a liberal state (at least on this side of the mountains) on the usually liberal west coast.