Well, I came out to that friend of mine over the weekend. Thing is, she's gay too and always brags about her gaydar and just her amazing "rainbow" skills... But when I told her, she was so shocked that I had trouble trying not to laugh. C'mon now, we were in the same classes the whole year, I had been dropping some obvious hints, there were some moments I thought she knew...heh Guess I was wrong. Still this is a big step for me, telling someone else and all. It helps that she gets the situation a bit more being the only gay friend/girl I know/have.

Well, that is probably because I find it funny that we only get female models and such, my teacher is a comic book artist who keeps on getting into debates with me about DC and Marvel, and today's model looked almost exactly like Yvonne Strahovski (Agent Walker from Chuck) except a red head. Which was interesting to have to draw. Anyway, I'm not going to go on about that but.. tomorrow we have a male model, which is less entertaining but at least I'll be able to concentrate. By the way the models are clothed so it's not you're usually figure drawing, not to sound tooo pervy. Well, anyway.

This past week, I have had about three anxiety attacks. I just feel so bunched up and stressed, mostly because I'm thinking of how to deal with a new year and new people. With the direction my life has been taking... Yesterday night I pretty much curled up into a ball and stared at the wall by my bed because of all the things I have to figure out. My life feels like it's on fast forward and I'm having trouble keeping up. I mean, I have two identities... the one displayed here. Basically me, and the one I need to use with some friends and all my family, all my school.

RUSSIAN SPIES IN MY TOWN! If you havent heard of the arrest of the Russian spies thats probably normal. However, the couple which was arrested (Richard+Cynthia Murphy) were neighbors of a friend of mine! The intrigue! Well, there goes a new rep for my town. So cool though, I can't believe this happened in Montclair. I mean has anyone even heard of Montclair before this? Well, you have now.

Felt like writing a new journal.

So tonight I'm going to a concert with some friends, it's Silver Sun Pickups and Against Me I think. They're playing at a theater very close to me, lucky we have a popular one in Montclair. So basically, my school year is over. Guess that is good, actually its great! But I'm going to be sooo busy...

So I just came back from a quinceañera of a friend and it was pretty nice, lasted a really long time and my feet really hurt from all the dancing. Well, my good ol' friend I was there, the one whom I have feelings for... that was nice because since school is almost over that means I'm not going to see her that often anymore... Oh god, don't know how that's going to work out. Anyway, she was there... and so was her girlfriend, which wasn't so great.. I might be biased but I know that she is seriously not the smartest person out there.. but whatever, I is happy so that's good.

Well, finals. Next week, oh school related stress I've missed you. Anyway I should probably be doing work but, I don't really want to y'know ;D. Yesterday I was introduced to The Big Gay Sketch Show! It is by far one of the funniest things I've ever seen.. FITZWILLIAM!! And though I might be the only person who finds them repetitively funny, the Anne Coulter skits are hilarious to me... Anyway, it is good ol' new jersey weather around here. Meaning that it got cold and started raining... then it got hot.. then it started raining again. :I YEP GOOD OL' N.J HU?

It has been such a week. In a good way, with all the things that happened and all. For example: It wasn't that hot, Cooper Union class, Track meeting for next year, actually got myself to do some work.. and I guess the usual. Oh but someone I know died, which is a shame. Really sad, so my mother is heading down to D.C for a day or two for the funeral. I got the number of a doctor I could go to for my knee/leg injury so that maybe I can get my rightful spot on the team next year. Hmm, I think I need to get more involved in the community.. or I won't graduate highschool.

Well I spent the weekend at the beach, I got burned by the sun. Damn my Irish undertones!!! So, anyway that was a nice memorial day break from all that life jazz. This site is actually really interesting so far, it's corny to say but.. it sort of helps to see that others are going through the trouble through which I'm going. Or have anyway.... hope that doesn't sound to bad. My troubles currently are actually a bit of my fault though so hey...

So finally the beginning of the end eh? Yea, I'd be happy if I weren't going to be isolated for the weekend. Still, I'm sort of nervous, the end of this year just brings me closer to Junior year. And that is going to be soooo incredibly hectic, or so I hear. However, there is a positive :D IT'S NOT REALLY THAT HOT! Regardless, I will certainly attack somone by the end of next week if I don't get it together. Teaches me a lesson not to bottle things up, thats for sure. BUT HEY, what's life without a few plummeting spirals here and there.

It's incredibly hot... and though I do live here I just can't deal. GUHHH WHY SUN WHY? On top of it all all I have are jeans and some long oxfords.. no summer clothes. Right now I managed to scrounge up some running shorts and a baggy T-shirt but its still hot as hell. Ugh, one of the people I eat lunch with decided to call a bunch of older friends from the main building over to eat lunch w/ us.... AND THEY WOULD'NT STOP SINGING THEATRICALLY. I mean, don't get me wrong I like all of them..Nice people.

So just came back from tae kwon do, so my legs are killing me... On top of that I've misplaced my i-pod! Other than that though my day has been pretty good. As good as it gets these days anyway. So besides that, In World lit. obviously were doing group work.. and naturally I'm in a group with two friends and her. Like any other day, just talking with her makes me want to just blurt it all out. However, this seems like one of the stupidest things I could do, shes already in a relationship so it would be awkward... ugh I don't know.

Alright so I don't believe in intros so I'll jump right in with a brief Hello!