today was a good day
i went vintage shopping with a boy i used to like
he was so... sweet
and i found a rare vintage print of a feist poster
and i saw another friend
and i'm with my best of friends in the whole wide world who's asleep now
e
i feel good
really good
for a change
unhaunted

tu me fais craquer.

I feel as though I should talk about why I haven't been well these past few days.

See, everything was going good again. School was over, I wasn't working too much, I was with my friends often. I mean, things weren't perfect but they were pretty good. I felt so optimistic.

Then... this guy wanted to sleep with me and I just couldn't.
I was just lost and broken and out of place. There was no reasoning, I just couldn't.

Then after that I just wasn't the same anymore.

i just hate everything
so much
when i do nothing like this
when i am unknown and unobserved i am nothing

i don't exist

the one i wanted to know me so much ended up not knowing me at all.
remember that feeling? when everything is a possibility and you're nervous and you HATE it but there's a POSSIBILITY
there's SOMETHING
it might be nothing
even dust sometimes rises in the air and catches the sun
and glimmers for a second
but it's HOPE

but it's never real
it's always just dust

it falls back to the ground and it's just as insignificant and ugly and common

bang bang bang bang bang bang bang

(i start half of it bahah)
oh, and has anyone heard from/seen online MacAvity?

i had a good christmas eve
i'm happy and hopeful today
it's christmas now

i hope you're all sleeping well, queers of oasis
and i hope you have a very good 25th and...
i'm so happy i found this place and all of you

goodnight

i've been a member here for almost a year, so...
here are the ones (of mine) i find most important to me

http://www.oasisjournals.com/2010/09-1
most honest thing i've written in the past few months

http://www.oasisjournals.com/2010/09/lovers-spit
http://www.oasisjournals.com/2010/09/september-criminals
http://www.oasisjournals.com/2010/08/sin-is-honoring-desire-above-what-y...
things i wrote when i thought beauty was the most important.

http://www.oasisjournals.com/2010/06/innocence
http://www.oasisjournals.com/2010/06/starving-to-be-safe

best song ever

my friend did cocaine... i'm sort of disappointed
but i sorta want to try

either way time's almost up, it'll be three months since any chemicals

if you see this please give a sign of life

such a lovely word. it means
"an overwhelming desire to neck or kiss"

so who are you anyways?

i want to go far, far, away from here
(you know when you close your eyes and you see
black
and black
and black
and it stretches forever
and there is nothing

meet me there.)

here, in PMs, whatever it is i will answer you
i don't care how explicit or abstract it is

i took photos of a very pretty girl today, they are on my blog (link will be back up on my account page), i like them a lot
she's the first internet friend i've ever met in person, it wasn't awkward at all, i was glad.

i can live without it all.
wet tongues, sex and its messy hunger.

it's not for me, i'm sorry a million times over.

i just wonder when someone might actually give a fuck.

let's pretend i didn't send that message kay

LOL i hate drunken me.

just got a paycheck for 500$ gonna go buy a longchamp tomorrow to fill the void inside my heart! lololol!!11!! txt it

xo xo magic f@ntastic ;)