just look
and i will look back

the gaze

i am quiet and i am strong

amen

1 cup of milk
1 cup of orange juice
1/3 to 1/2 cups of sugar
1 tablespoon of vanilla extract
around 2 trays of ice cubes

put in blender and enjoy
also you can add ice cream and make it extra delicious

hey guys

i'm looking for some honest + constructive critique on some collages i did for my photography course

you can see them here :
http://stridulated.tumblr.com/

thanks

(if there are men in heaven you will find war there)

i have an addiction problem, i just wanted to admit it somewhere

reality is repulsive
my actions are repulsive

i am a liar of the worst kind because i believe the tales i tell
i get caught in them and i am my own audience
but who could blame the call to be a stranger?

to forget yourself
to be a character in a different story..?
to deny yourself is to deny responsibility
to deny yourself is to deny your ghosts
to deny yourself is to reclaim innocence

...
i so hate being alone and sober

First off, if you're unaware of what a Ouija board is, click :
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ouija

This will be a long journal but I swear on my life that everything I'm writing here is exactly how I lived it. We also did experiments with different people touching the planchette and giving us the same results. We also had a pen and paper to track the answers we received. I would trust the people I did this with with my life and everyone swore that no one was pushing it (and either way, what happened would NOT be a funny joke).

i was going to write something angsty but i'm in a good mood

i made dinner for my boyfriend and got him flowers

it made me feel good.

chaos is the rejection of reality itself

chaos is idealism
chaos is beauty

i modelled in a hair show today
i was only supposed to be taking pictures for work and doing PR work with local salons and stuff to blog

but they were missing a model so they asked me

i look like james dean now it's kinda fun

but the hairstylist was touching me too much and winking at me and it was annoying

i feel like the world is constantly drunk

i. relationship

things with my boyfriend are going well, relatively. he's sick of me smoking all the time and of constantly feeling insecure and for my part i wish he'd have a more mature outlook on some situations, especially matters concerning his family. but you take the good with the bad. he's modelling in a hair show this weekend and i'll be going. we have a complex relationship but he's forever my best friend no matter what.

ii. health and body

1. racist fascist thugs
2. people who mistreat children
3. people who write lists of people who should be shot

(a boy with porcelain hands, everything he touches breaks him)

my head hurts

feeling like a drone

everything is so boring

i'm on honor roll

: - )
last night was fun

some people say "people change"

and i suppose they do, they become lazy, fat,
vile

filled with shit
people hardly really change for the better, unless they were so low they had no choice.

but do people choose to change?
or is change something that happens
or does change happen at all..?

nature doesn't change
air itself is inspiration and trees sing finer music than we ever could

but nature is pure and i am r o t t e n