abhorrence is quite a lovely word. i'm sorry, brain has been making no sense lately. neither have i. i don't know, everything is fucked up. everything is wrong. wrong. wrong. wrong. wrong. wrong. because of you, because of me. yeah, i said i was done with this place, but everyone needs some place where they're safe. nothing is safe for me anymore, or rather not for anyone else. i'm disgusting. every aspect of me is repulsive. an AB-HO-RREN-CE. even my body thinks so. it's committing suicide because it hates me. i have a huge black spot on my face, do you know that?

i'm quitting oasis.

i feel as though i have nothing left to say. it's always the same shit over and over that happens with me. i'll feel happy about something and i get screwed over. over and over and over again, it just doesn't fucking stop, so whatever. ranting about it doesn't help, it just reminds me of how much i just can't deal with anything like a proper person. like rereading everything... i'm just like, ok, i have issues.

someone make it stop, i can't take anything anymore.

whenever things are going right, they never really are. i just think they're going okay. i'm just fooling myself.

i just want to be in a coma...

wake me up in 2 years ?

« Quand on aime une personne et que cette personne nous aimes, on pense aussitôt que tout est trop beau, et ça l'est. Par contre, si aimer et être aimer est magnifique, le contraire lui est d'autant plus horrible. »

i wish you'd stop taking drugs, someone who can think such beautiful things shouldn't be ruining their life that way. i mean, i don't know you that well, hell, i've only seen you a couple of times. but don't you know that everyone loves you?

please don't be lonely anymore.

in the past few days i've come to realize how general homophobic comments/attitudes really hurt me. i don't have to say what those are for you guys to know what they are.

french teacher : hey, how are you ?
me : i'm good, you?
FT : you look a little preoccupied.
me : *leaves*

yeah, i don't really feel like talking to teachers about my life, so i'm just gonna sit here and listen to the designer drugs mixtape.

thursday and friday is a ski trip with school. not looking forward to it.

X texted me today.
«Bonne St-Valentin.»

I laughed and asked who it was, like i didn't know what his number was by heart. he didn't reply, so i guess i'm happy.

i've just been okay these past few days. not happy or unhappy. just... okay.

i want a cigarette. even though it grosses me out when i smoke i want one, just because i like how they look, and how it feels. and the smell. though i don't like smelling like cigarettes.

yeahyeah, i had a fun night today.

soo, i went with like, 10 people to get pierced. i got an industrial, my other friend got a lip piercing and another a belly button.

and the hottest guy ever was there i swear.

so we went to mcdonalds and then we went back to my friends house, and we hung out there.

and i feel nasty because i smoked 3 cigarettes and a joint. i'm gonna like, die of cancer later, i swear. i'm so gonna get hooked, ew.

oh, and yeah. i go on facebook and you know what i see on hot guy's profile ?

INTERESTED IN : WOMEN .

my friend was resting her head on me and i had my arm around her, and she was like : «EW, THIS IS WAY TO HETEROSEXUAL FOR US, MAKE IT STOP!»

i hope everyone is having a lovely evening ^-^

i posted this on tumblr, and i figured you guys might like it... i use my tumblr account to post writing, drawings and photographs. if you're interested, you can check it out here : www.vincenteric.tumblr.com
so this is another piece about my favourite monster.

days go by so quickly, yet so slowly.
not even one week ago, i told you to leave me alone.
you didn't even fight me, you just said «as you wish», and i haven't heard from you since.

as much as that's what i wanted, i wish you would have fought a bit.

i guess you don't care, which i knew all along. i wanted to be wrong about you...

if you got your arms around me i would be helpless...

pathetic, i know.
fuck.

I LAUGHED WHILE WRITING THE TITLE OF THE ARTICLE, IT FELT VERY STUPID, LIKE IT WAS THE NAME OF A NEWS PROGRAM. tonight at 7...

anyways. I showed my drawing to a few people in my class, and most people didn't get it. I was like, how do you not get this? Haven't you ever had a broken heart? «But doesn't love make you feel all jittery and good and fuzzy?»

um, no. love, so far, has made me feel like roadkill.

and since it's valentine's day, the theme was «how you feel when you're in love».

so everyone drew really cutesy stuff like people kissing, hearts, mcdonalds fries, ect.

i drew a piece of roadkill. :)
i'd scan and post it but i need to hand it in today, so i'll do that when the teacher gives it back to me.

i'm just worried that the school is gonna make me go see the therapist or whatever. all my drawings for art class have been very macabre this year... for example, for «something suprising hatches from an egg» i drew yolk shaped like a skull.

oh well. XD