ok so i forgut some people yesturday.
Ricky - 16 years old, the most hilarious guy ive ever met, the dude shoved The Lord of The Flies, book into his mouth! lol he makes me happy cause he worse than a kid. well built, his eyes always look for mischief to cause. lol. oh, he's also very artistic and makes the most lovable funny faces ever! :)
This may not be that interesting but i just wanted to confess my feelings for the guys i know. Tell me your favourite.
Hayden - 16 years old, so hilarious that he always brighten ups my day. even when im mad, when i walk by him i cant help but always smile. did i mention he's muscled like hell, and a killer smile. "sigh" also he's on the football team.
Brett - 16 years old, quiet and distant, but talkative when you ask the right questions "wink". the most muscled kid in our school and tje most into health.
I'm kinda really, really scared/ upset, i found out one of my friends likes me; a girl. I don't want to have to tell her, but i don't want to lose her friendship. I think i can make up a plausible and good lie (i have one) but i don't want to lie, i hate it, yet it's so easy. I think i have a plan but if anyone's got something helpful to contribute i'd be grateful.
law was good, mock trial and i did good with speaking in front of people, and for once i think people saw that i'm not me. (if you get it you getit). art wasn't that bad, more questions but tomorrow its back to oour projects so joy! "not sarcasm" :) lmao then lunch, to day our table was full so no Lorenz :(, but i have plans. "you can add a menicing laugh if your reading this". i think i have his attention. manufacturing sucked as always, and then i had english.
Ok, um terrible day so ain't too preepy. I haven't told you guys yeat but i have a twin brother Brad, an evil twin and i mean pure hate, and evil, he's a sadistic creep! Well i had washed my clother for today and had everthing ready right, and he goes and grabs the same stuff as me to piss me off. so i haad to go to school in a different outfit, which was not as warm as my original and i froze to death walking to school. law was uneventful, were dooing a mock trial and i'm a crown lawyer, we had to do some paper work that we had to hand in. then art, my favourite class, we had QUESTIONS!
Thats right i'm guna go see walking with the dinosaurs! im kinda excited, i know i'm being like a kid, but hey, there guna be like life size and that is so awesome. if not the technological advances that allowed them to create the giant creatures. i feel like i'm going to jurassic park! :P :) :P i don't care if i sound like a child lol. im going with my cousins who will make it that much better! well thats all for now i guess lol.
How do you guys get up the nerve to ask someone out on a date? I am such a wimp, but do you guys have any helpful tips? i know i'm pathetic but hey i'm going crazy on my end, kinda lonely. :( you guys help, but i want someone to be with.
i think im ready for a fresh start! or at least need a new start, and today can be the begining. but before i look to my VERY distant, yet close future i have to relive my past the best i can and come to grips with wut i can. like going through days on end in school and not being able to tell the guy i like that i like him. the fact i don't take gym so that i'm less noticable. the fact i quit the football team cause everytime i'd tackle one of them i didn't want to let go, god just being close to the guys made me a bit deranged lol.
god idk wut to do
people know me as the quiet kid who never speaks his mind, and well im not, im actually an out spoken guy who likes guys, man do i ever.
no one knows, there aint no one to trust, and to be spoken true i dont want to be known as the gay guy, i hate the classification, im me, just, me...
but then i have weak moments when i WANT to trust, NEED to trust but i put then down and tell myself, i can be me later...but it kills me everytime i say it.
idk what to do, do i let people see me as me and take what they dish out or do i stay seen but not heard.