But my stupid curiosity and crush-ing has gotten the best of me.

i find it better if i go on with my life and like new people.

right now its this girl. she is sitting a few feet away from me.

Im not sure if im crush-ing or if im just taken in by her beauty.

she knows i like her (thanks to Suzanne haha)

and actually, she had already had a hunch that i did.

am i really that obvious? fml.

oh well. Suzanne suggested to her that she should date me.

:I

not gonna lie, that'd be pretty amazing. i dont know what i'd do if she did.

I logged on to the school library pc. And the school website is....wow. lol.
Meh. i kinda didnt want to leave just so i could see who's pictures they posted. :P

anyways. I felt like shit today. feel*

Im stressing out because all my work for econ is due on thursday. :(
And, i was lazy all triad sooooo this is all my fault.

So a lot has happened since i was last online.
I'm not talking to E for a long while.
She kinda made me look like the biggest idiot, saying all this stuff about how she felt about me (good stuff).
I stood by her side most of the time when my friends were being assholes.
Then like 3 weeks later she gets with this new girl (who i dont like btw lmao) and says all the same shit she said about me 3 weeks ago.
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?
yeah. so, on that note, im done with her. seriously.
FTS.
:P

so i broke down last night on the phone with E.
im not going anywhere today, everybody bailed on me. that triggered something in me and i was so angry. like, insanely.
i cried because i couldnt do anything about my anger. i realized everyone uses or takes advantage of me. even my "friends".
i know i need to stand up for myself, but im too nice. it's not in my nature.
*sigh*

was okay. Had a wake n' bake. Then i had to take a xanax in 2nd per. so i could give my presentation in 3rd. I was pretty messed up :| lol. I had a lot of work that was due today that i kinda forgot about .-. but that's my fault.
I really want to go to the Queen Mary on friday. But idk if im going to have the money for it :(. I dont think im doing anything for halloween this year and it gives me a sad. i always do something :(. I dont even have a legit costume :(.
I cant wait for the next dance. :3

Urg. Last week just was not my week.
K seems to hate me. Im not sure why either. Oh well.
Hung out with suzanne. (idk if i used her name or not. whatever.) and tyler on sunday. Fun stuff.
I decided what im going to wear to school on Halloween.
Im going to dress up as a girly girl. :I
So im wearing the dress i wore to my aunt's wedding.
I think i look pretty in it.
Like, I'd do me. LOL.
I wore it the other night cause christina wanted to see. i was only supposed to take a pic, but i wore it around my house....haha

kid next to me got a movie to play on the school library computer. Heh. There are always holes in the system.

I hung out at school til 6 yesterday. Megan stayed with me for like 1 1/2 hours and then she left and i was kinda alone with K. Lol. except for my Music Theory teacher of course. Who by the way is the most attractive teacher ive EVER had. She's so damn cute. Hahaha. She's like 26 and has done some pretty exciting things. Im kinda jealous of her adventures. :P

So last night was the stupid skate night here at the local roller skate park, TWH (The Wheel House). I went with (i have to give her a damn name....uhhh....KR) KR and my friend Sean. And K was supposed to go. Buuut she didnt show up until like 8. or 7. i dont remember lol. Anyways. When she finally got there i was like stunned. She was wearing her costume. She wore this skirt type thing. Im not sure how to explain it. but she was supposed to be Hello Kitty. But goddamn. I dont think ive ever thought of her as HOT. i mean. fuck. i dont even know how to put it into words.

So Homecoming assembly today. It was FUCKING epic. Not just epic. FUCKING epic. There were knights and they were fighting with swords and hachets. MOST EPIC ASSEMBLY EVAR. I loved it. Too bad im not going. Lol.

So, E came over to MY house on saturday. It was fun. We had attempted to have sex but something happened in the process....it's kinda embarassing and painful. Lol. It hurt real bad and i almost cried. XD. Lol. Urk.

Was fun. I hung out with arielle. We got high. Oh boy. lol.

Nothing exciting has happened today. Just school.
It's really cold out today. And i cant find any of my jackets or sweaters :(.

He said "Hi" again today. Still trying to figure out if he's in one of my classes, or if ge's just being nice cause we both have a free period. xD
I broke up with E today during 2nd per. I felt really bad. I told her i still like her and all, i dont want her out of my life. And maybe we can try again later. She asked me why i broke up with her, and i told her it was cause she wasnt mature enough. Which is the honest to god truth. :\

I still feel bad.

When someone who is sitting next to you and greets you like they know you and you're completely clueless because you have no fucking idea who they are. so you smile like an idiot and provide an idiotic answer. :D