I had to print something out at school and I had no friggin clue as to how to operate that contraption they call a printer. :|
So i had to ask the librarian. And I was freaking out really bad. Haha.
But in other news...
I broke up with Alex. Her response was "I'm sorry I cant give you the attention you need 24/7. But right now I have priorities, and maybe when you get a job you'll understand."
So my plan for today was to not text Alex.
Well i failed that. Lol. I couldnt help it. She's all i thought about this morning. So I sent her a message. She actually replied this time. But not exactly what I wanted to hear/read. What can i do though, right?
Actually, I dont even know what I was expecting her to say. Maybe somewhere along the lines of "I miss you" or something stupid.
But I am getting impatient. I hate being ignored. So friggin much.
And she keeps doing it. I dont know how much more I can take before I tell her it's over.
I hate my life. Maybe i should just stop going out with girls and just stick to sleeping with them only. Because fuck. I'm either picking the wrong ones or I just have terrible luck when it comes to relationships.
Doesnt feel any different xD. Except for the fact that I can do pretty much everything now, except drink alcohol and gamble in vegas.
Some songs dont need a dubstep remix. Especially if a person does a shitty job.
Anyways, last night was interesting. I talked to Jackie for quite a bit, and that's something i always enjoy doing. Last night though. Wow. Haha. We got kinda close. Not phone sex, but there would have been if it hadnt been so late at night. Lmao. She'd been flirting with me a lot through out the night. Idk. That kind of thing just gets to me, it makes me all giddy and stupid. :D
I feel sick. Like naseous. And anxious.
I've been reminiscing a lot lately. Right now I'm thinking about what happened with V. Freshman year girlfriend. The one i ran away with. I'm thinking about that is because I'm listening to Maps. By the Yeah Yeah Yeahs. It feels weird cause i cant comprehend how stupid i was. I dont know why I felt the way i did. She was beautiful. If anything, she was the exact opposite. haha. Maybe i was just a horny fifteen year old that confused love with lust. I thought she loved me. I thought i loved her. Hah.
my last post was a month ago. haha.
Not much has happened though. I finished up my internship, got paid, bought shit, smoked, went out with friends. lol. The usual.
T-"Imagine if you forgot how to breathe all of a sudden one day :o"
B-"You know that's how people with Old Timer's die right?"
Me-"Old Timer's??? You mean Alzheimer's? LOL"
Lol i love art class :3
So i just realized that i havent posted in almost a month :o. I've been so damn busy with work and school, I also havent been able to stay after school on tuesdays and wednesdays cause i'm just tired and irritated and want to go home. :P.
I guess I'm kind of over the whole Dalila thing. Whatever you know? I also think that I'm starting to annoy Ruby haha.
So i've been talking to this girl lately. Dalila. :P.
Actually, I've know her since Junior year. She's pretty awesome and stuff.
But anyways, we've been talking a lot lately. I kinda admitted that i liked her, and she shot me down. Haha. She was really nice about it though. Maybe a little too nice.
Her excuse was that she cant deal with girls right now (she's bi, surprise? nope) but im a great girl. :P
So stupid me kept persistence in mind. :I
Although i kinda knew it wouldnt go anywhere, i still tried again. Because, why not?
So i dropped music theory and now if i want to go to suzanne's i gotta stay here for two hours XD.
I've been looking at phones online, because honestly, I'm tired of being told when i can and cant use the phone at home. And using my mom's/sister's phone has gotten me in trouble a few times. Lol. Like when i forget to delete messages >.>; (not sexual lol. i def. remember to delete those....)
but yeah. I've decided on a Samsung Dart.
that i forgot to put my tapers in. hah.
Oh, my ear is all better now. :D
That's all i wanted to say.
That's what my music theory teacher said to me as i walked into the library.
That was like half an hour ago, and i've yet to stop thinking about it. c:
SHE CALLED ME SUNSHINE~
i dont find her as attractive as i used to. or maybe i just got over it. :p
I got that job at Walgreen's. Dunno if i mentioned that in my last journal, the days seem to be blending into one. People too, i say/do things with them, but i've been getting confused as to who i said/did those things with. lol. if that even makes any sense at all.
I start this Monday.
I've felt that a lot lately. I know i said i didnt want a serious relationship right now, but i cant help it. I just want to know what it feels like to be "loved" again. I want to "love" someone. I miss the feeling.
I want a "new favorite waste of time" (Sofi Needs a Ladder- Deadmau5). lol.
So i'm working on a new project for art. It's basically words drawn out to make objects. Not sure what that's called, but if i could show you guys i would. Meh. I'm thinking of doing an Anti-War theme. Using Authority Zero's "A Thousand Years Of War". It's just an idea right now though.
I was kissed today. It was pretty awesome. Although i didnt get the same butterfly tingly-ness i get when i kiss a girl i REALLY like. I am some what attracted to this girl. But she isn't exactly single. And our kiss was mostly out of impulse.
She's a friend, so i was a bit hesitant at first. But then it was kinda like "why the fuck not?"
idk. i did like it though. wouldve been better if we werent at school in the choir room surrounded by our friends >.>;
Stepdad has been more of a dick lately. But that isnt anything new .-.
I have eaten
that were in
the ice box
you were probably
they were delicious
and so cold
I'll give you ten internets if you can name the guy who wrote that poem.
Anyways, I realized yesterday that Winter Formal is THIS saturday. And i've yet to find a date.