I am aaaaalways worrying about something. Like, that is my job. The Worrier.

WORRYWARTTTTTT

but like lately
boyfriend has been so amazing and sweet
but i feel like crap about it

because his ex keeps texting him and he's just talking to her
and
she took him from me once
(which he denies)
and i hate that she has to talk to him
and i hate that he's nice to her

when him and i broke up, he hated me for a year or so
it was
so
unfair.

and he blames it all on me
when he was the one being a jackass to me.

i love the kid now, but
he was a raging douchebag to me.

So Boyfriend's birthday is in a few weeks and I needa make or buy him something amazing.

I know I'm gonna draw him a picture and I want some ideas for that, too :P

I AM GIFT-INEPT. I know he likes candy and video games and tigers and polar bears and Pokemon. And video games.

AUGUHUHUHHUH

What are romantic picture ideas?

Sooo I'm VERY glad that everything ended up okay between me and Boyfriend! <3
I mean Spring Break was like, hella bad, but now it's really amazing again :)

There were a few sad spots... But I guess they came out alright :)
We did some fun stuff, some awkward stuff, but everything was really good. I'm always so scared that when he comes over I'm gonna be boring :( But today he didn't even fall asleep and take a nap! XD

Sometimes we do fight... but he's a pretty amazing little dude. He really makes me feel good about myself (mostly) and I love him tons.

no that's not a random title generator :P

But like if you're so concerned about the environment
pee in your tub.
no wasted water, no wasted toilet paper.

Anyways, this journal's gonna be really disconnected cause I don't have any ONE thing on my mind but a ton of buzzing thoughts.

Uh, I hate health because all my teacher does is go SIGNS OF DEPRESSION... OMG LOL IF YOU FEEL LIKE THIS GO SEE SOMEONE IMMEDIATELY CAUSE YOU'LL COMMIT SUICIDE
also she said sexual advances can be a sign of being suicidal

.-.

BUT I THOUGHT YOU WAAAAAAAAAAAANTED WHINING!

:P

I'm just teasing :)

EDIT:
This is why I can't handle whining, I basically read it and hear it in this voice.

Boyfriend and I are doing really great today :D
He was very lovey and even texted me to tell me that he missed me when I was gone for a little X3

Which means I am very happy!

Not much else to say, sorry... But uh, Spring Break is almost over!
Nuts!

XD So I went shopping today with T-rex and KTT.
Yes, we undressed in the same stall today ;D We were trying on dresses. And omg she kept looking at me and I was like WHAT and she was like NO I'M NOT LOOKING AT YOU and it was reallllly funny for me.

Also she painted my fingernails rainbow :D

I had the best girls-day ever XD

So I bought a skirt :) Two shirts :) And new shoes :D
Also KTT bought me these SICK rainbow zebra stripe sunglasses :D
and omg we went into Victoria's Secret and they had rainbow undies
and I wanted them

And I saw this music experience thing.
It was like a museum about modern music but it was mostly about Jimi Hendrix cause he's from Seattle.

It was pretty cool though, I learned some Blues music theory, which was kickass. And they had this cyclone of instruments, mostly guitars, and at the top was this BEAUTIFUL white double bass. And I WANTED IT!

Anyways, I've thought about the Boyfriend thing.

I tried not talking to him but I kinda broke at 5:30 because I missed him.

I see this as a good sign... :)

I really don't know what's going to happen between me and Boyfriend right now, so I need to vent my feelings.
This will be reallllly emotional and stupid and I already hate it. But I make alot of connections when I write, so...

I feel like we're both falling out of love with each other.
Me, especially...
and it hurts really bad because I just DON'T want it to happen. I love him! I just... Don't know anymore.

Another movie that is so stupid, it is hilarious. Pooty Tang!

I got to say the nay-no, my brotha! Whadda-tah.

This movie is rediculously hilarious. It's about this one guy, Pooty Tang, and nobody knows what the fuck he's talking about XD Literally XD

It's the blackest, funniest movie ever. Just because it's sooo stupid and weird XD

Anyways, sorry. Randomly thought about that. You guys should check it out, it made me laugh so hard. I don't even know why.

This is an honest write. I'm not going to make anything up or blow it out of proportion. I'm just going to give facts. Thought maybe I should tell you what has affected me in my life.

Most of my problems happened early in childhood and followed me to this day because they affected me in a way I wish it hadn't.

From the day I was born, my sister became my mother: She was eleven years older than me and even gave me my middle name. My parents, tired of raising children, allowed her to take care of almost everything about me.

If there is anything I have noticed about todays teens and pre-teens (And trust me, before I start this article and offend probably countless of people here, I was, and still am, one of these people), it's that they live for drama and are so emotionally uptight nowadays.

*disclaimer, I'm generalizing things. If you don't agree or aren't, I KNOW. I already know what you're gonna gripe over. So shut your filthy whore mouth and let me jot down my mental notes :P

LOVE YOU GUYS~ *

Now I really hate coming to you guys for relationship advice. It makes me feel all loserish.

But I do have to ask. What do I do right now?

Boyfriend didn't reply again to a long text where I sort of confronted his problems and asked him what's his problem with being angry. Because, you know, he's not a robot who doesn't feel anger and can just take care of himself. And I said that I'm doing what any sensible person would do when they know the person they love is upset- But he's giving me no options.