GOOD:

I try my hardest to make everyone happy
I try to be selfless
I always forgive people, no matter how long it takes for me. Everyone deserves a second chance or more
I try to make people laugh and smile (even if i fail XD)
I'll stand up for my friends, no matter what
I care, and want to listen and help people, no matter who they are
I enjoy being with my friends, and cooking for them!
I love music, art, poetry, cooking X3
I'm willing to change everything about myself, no matter how much I like it, to please my friends and family

Where is he...?

Sigh. I'm worried.

But... good news too. Mah birthday today! I got some AWESOME stuff.

A new TV!!!!! FOR MAH ROOM >:D flat screen! :3
A wacom tablet!
A digital camera!
AWESOME fluffy socks and toblerone chocolate!
AMAZING dinner down at the crab pot
haha fun, fun, day. plus jonah apologized, and brea and him wished me happy birthday. whee... sigh.

yeah. i'm lonely.

But we'll get back to that at the end

LONG POST AHEAD
I MEAN FREAKING LONG.

feel free to "skim"
or... not read at all. most people do that.

FIRST OFF. Tomorrow's my birthday. YAY

ohkay. So. for Christmas I got alot of awesome things. I'll list off mah favorites.

I got:

A calendar full of dragon pictures
Spore expansion pack for mah creative needs
Two books to help me draw people better (specifically hands and feet D
This FUCKING AWESOME LAMP (sorry for swearing, but I am very excited) with dragons on the glass panes. It's awesome, really. Thank you mommeh! :3

is the SHIT. Oh my GOD.
That movie was sexy. And I mean the "sexy" kind of sexy where it's just plain awesome. So awesome you'll prematurely ejaculate.
Ok not really. Well...

...Awkward...

MAYBE. So yeah. The animation was beautiful, it was stunningly awesome. It was like a modern (or futuristic) version of Pocahontas, almost, and I must say that kind of movie has been done alot... But they did it, and they did it well. VERY well. I'd go see it over and over.

I AM MORE EXCITED ABOUT THE FACT I JUST SAW THAT MOVIE THAN I AM ABOUT TOMORROW BEING CHRISTMAS.

ITS THAT AWESOME.

I made a wish apon a star
To figure out just who you are
I'm still waiting for the answer...

I hoped that you could be the one
And then before I knew it, we were done
It went by so fast...

My sweet, you were always my love
My angel from the stars above
I miss you so...

I wonder now, if I was better
Would I now still be a dreamer?
Or would I be with you...

I dream of you almost every night
But hell, your brother was totally right
And I'm sorry about him...

I just fell for him like I did for you
Too bad he doesn't feel it too
I wish he could...

live, die, live, die, live, die

what should I do?

life is hell, but death will only lead to hell too.

I feel like I should draw so I don't hurt myself more.

Ehhhhhhh this feeling will pass soon enough.

Is everything I know a lie? Can I ever trust anybody anymore?

Devan? Pitied me. Went out with me and then broke up with me for another girl he actually did like.

Ryan? Pitied me as well, but actually meant it. Was... generally a pretty good boyfriend for a few weeks. Didn't ever hug me though... Then I left him for Jonah. Wasn't mad at all.

I suppose that might be better. Maybe...

Sigh. What's wrong with me...

Drawing's hard.

ok well it wasn't ALL night. I had to sleep a little!

But srsly. When you're lonely, you certainly realize how much of a best friend... yourself is O.O
I had like the most epic night last night. I stayed up till one playing The Legend of Zelda : Ocarina of Time. Cuz you know when you're playing a video game, and you get stuck, and then you get all pissy and disconnect it and don't play it for the longest time?

WHOO

I broke that cycle last night. (Getting in touch with my man-side? Awesome.)

I'msofreakingexcited
I'm gonna be fourteen! >:D
which everyone knows is moar evil than thirteen.

whooo for adolescence...

Valdez would be proud of me.

WHOO I am practicing vibrato and single-string octave scales XD I'm not quite sure for any official name for that o.o;; But yeah, so my fingers hurt from playing waaaaay up on my A string. Over and over. I have to get it right...! Must. Be. Awesome. Viola. Player!
DX
Maybe I'm overdoing it a little, but it's important to me. I love viola, it makes me happy X3
And my love makes me happy too <3 But I've not been a good girlfriend...

I'm sorry...

I'm sorry my dear, for making you mad
I was simply feeling just a little bit sad

AND that time of month. Now I know what you're probably thinking; "ewwww" right?
Well get over it >.< It sucks for me, too.

Anyways, back to the good subjects...!

I'm extremely happy lately. I've got a headache from smashing my finger between plates and then getting pissed off and ramming into a wall... My fault XD My sister's coming over today to make christmas cookies with me. That'll be fun.

Last night mah buddeees Hannah and Katy spent the night. Hannah took alot of pictures and some weird video... One in which I'm looking quite weird with egg nog >>;;

ITS CHRISTMAS BREAK

I'm in love <3

and my life is amazing :D

How's you people? What do you want for Christmas? Doing anything fun?

I love life. I really really love life. Alot. So much.
But then you realize people hate you no matter what :(

I'm sorry Marcus...