"BACK THERE! LOCUSTS ARE KILLING EVERYONE BACK THERE!"
ONE more freaking time, I'm gonna shoot myself DX It's bad enough that I had to hear it ten million times when I WASN'T EVEN PLAYING but NOW...

I stayed after school for the basketball game. I was in the orchestra room with my awesome sub. and he was playing piano and singing and GOD he's really awesome. I love him X3 he's freakin' fantastic. And he really cares about music, like me. I think he's my hero :D haha. So then I turned around and Garett was there! *blushes* and so we started talking a little, and stuff, and he was like "So why are you here?" and I was like "Oh, staying for the basketball game. Why are YOU here?" And he was like "Waiting before I walk home"

I don't wanna love damn Jonah. I've got so many other sweet boys to like. Luckily they're awesome to me, and I might have a chance. Played some Battleship with Jeevan today. He's so funny! We were laughing so much, haha, and I almost asked him out...

But then I chickened out. Lulz. I instead asked him if he liked playing tuba more than trumpet. Hmm. I want to date him or Garret. I'm getting antsy. I'm too scared to ask them D:

Anyways enough talking. Bleh. Here's a random poem.

Love Prevention Machine

I have to fight, I have to fly
My sweetest escape, my final goodbye

Now I'm angry and sad and angsty.

RAR! Why am I so bipolar? I hate this! >_<;;

I got my tablet cord in the mail, and it's really fun to use. I love it :)

Any requests?

I have such excellent friends. And so many of them! Thank you all for being so nice to me! :) It really seems the only problem in my life is Jonah. Weird XD Well I guess and the people being jackasses to me at school. Pfft. But who cares about them?

So tell me about your days! Please! :D

And a page of dried blood.

I've gotten into my cutting habit again. Damnit. But I do it when I'm bored... It's really not for the pain, blood is a beautiful color and a really fun substance to use artistically. The way it clots helps if I place a bit in the end of a sewing needle, because then I can write with it like a pen. It's interesting. And splatters are very beautiful too.

Don't worry though, I'm not gonna like... Wrist cut D: that's bad. And dangerous. And painful as hell! I hate pain! I cut my ankle. Less nerves, no veins >_< the scars re-open easily. Lotsa blood. Whee!

Mostly because I think I slept on it, and formed it overnight. And then kept in mood pretty well. Hm... I know my meter's off, but rhyme-wise I did pretty good.

Alright, I suppose I should name it.

Break the Silence:

You're the one who started this fight-
I honestly had believed that you were right
I tried my hardest to be nice
But my hardest won't suffice-

I find my anger for you strong
No matter what, I'm always wrong
I'm pushed up to the edge, you see
Anger and sadness make up me

I'm a half and half remorseful soul
My happiness has taken it's toll

My grandma was Schizo. It's genetic, right?

I don't think I have it. Just asking.

Lovely.

Anyways, I really don't care. But today was seriously THE worst day of my entire life. I had to spend about seventy percent of my day being around Jonah and Brea. Making out. GROSS.

I cried, I ran away, I did everything in my power to NOT hurt anybody. Argh. I have... serious emotional problems. I wish I didn't, but I do, and not hurting people is hard for me. I feel worse and worse every time I have to admit that. I don't want to be a monster.

:D

I asked a dude out. And I'm nervous. He said he'd think about it, I think he's actually gonna go ask Jonah for permission or something if he's gonna say yes. Otherwise he's totally gonna reject me XD Yay for that :P
I guess I really don't care if he says no, but I really want him to say yes! He's been real nice to me lately and stuff. And today we had like a mini heart to heart :)

Weird. Hmm. Well we're alot alike (craziness and all XD)

I'm all lonely right now! :3 PM me if you're bored!

htaphiatnkmn amnkatghjairta

HOW ARE YOU :D

I'm addicted to a boy
Who's not even real;
I'm addicted to a boy
That I cant' even feel.

His voice is a whisper
That I can't even hear;
Don't feel his arms
When he holds me near

I wish I could meet
This shy little boy
Who brings me
Such great amounts of joy

But I'm afraid he's fake
Just inside my head
A lovely ghost
Of my ex, who's dead...

Rest in peace, Old Jonah. I'll miss you, dear. I'm sorry I killed you...