When I'm sleepy at night. I seriously talk to myself or pray or something and it's weird.

Just goes to show how lonely I am. Last night I prayed and started talking about- no, TO- Aliens, and being like "WELL god if you're an alien then that's pretty awesome. Not that being an all-powerful being wouldn't be pretty sick too, but you know what I'm trying to say."

Yesp.

Ok I have ideas. But. I need some help. So far, I'm thinking something quite dynamic (I'm not gonna explain what) But... I have not much else planned... Gimme help! Please! It's been a while since I did a big writing/art project! :D

I watched like four Disney movies and then Sweeney Todd yesterday...

Wow my mood changed alot throughout the day, didn't it?

Lots of homework today, a little more positive. Trying not to break the mirror... Really really really trying hard not to. Had a dream about Garret. And Jonah, sadly. I'm so angry all the time. I slept in really late though... so... I'm feeling hangovery like always when I oversleep.

Here's a map of my life.

My Friends My boyfriend Me

Brea enters stage left

Shelby leaves stage right.

Where are you? Where are you? Where are you? Where are you?

I miss you I'm sorry I miss you I'm sorry I miss you I'm sorry I'm terrible terrible terrible horrible I should have been nicer to you instead of cruel

Please come back.

What do you do when you look into the mirror and you can no longer see yourself?

Anyways. Here's what I really wanted to say last time...

Now. Depending on the kind of person you are, the music might be different. For some it'd be like "Hell YEAH TWINS! SCORE!"
but y'know. It's all on the person.

So yeah, I've been here for like three hours... Waiting for another half an hour to pass by so I can go home and do my TONS OF HOMEWORK

...Mostly writing. It's annoying. I'd rather be playing my XBOX REALLY BUT YOU KNOW HOW LIFE IS

Blah.

I'm adding WAY too many spaces, aren't I?
Oh, what's that?

It's annoying you?

Suck it, bitches >:D

me: my mom just yelled at me ;A;
Hannah: Why?
me: because I "threw the fact she didn't go to the spaghetti auction last year in her face"
when all I said was "well you didn't go last year"
she was talking about Cassie going for her this year
and I was trying to say "well you didn't go last year, so Cassie doesn't have to go because I wasn't expecting you to go this year either" but nooo
she cut me off
and then flew into an angry rage of "NOBODY APPRECIATES WHAT I DO AROUND HERE"
Hannah: Tell her that you meant Cassie doesn't have to go because you weren't expecting anyone to

I show most of the symptoms of Manic-depression (bipolarity) and Major Clinical Depression. Not exactly sure if I can have both though.

I finally confirmed what I feared... I'm an emotional wreck. I feel a little proud that I was correct, but... If I really am not...

Then I'm just a bitch?

So scared. Anyways. Feeling... Numb again. It's like life fades away; a blur... I'm never sure what's dreams or reality... The only way I can tell the difference is if I have memories. That's how I tell.

I hate the memories though. I wish they were gone.

That really, the more depressing or awesome a title is, the more people will read it. That saddens me. I haven't gotten like any comments for a while XD and I've even been posting happy stuff! That's rare for me! I mean everyone tells me I complain too much... but if I don't complain, people ignore me >.>;;

I guess I should stay true to the title and contradictory to my journal, and actually write what's bothering me.

Fallingggggg in love again <3

Noooo I can't say I'm in love ;A; it's bad! DX But anyways.

Odd. I rather like the suspense of not telling him. The awkward moments we have are rather awesome. He's getting more touchy lately XD like today we got into a poke-fight and stuff. I think I'll ask him for hugs soon. Yeah... ;D

He's charmingly sweet. Like, shy though. I can tell he's getting more comfortable around me, which is good. Today I was playing piano and he was like "Wow, you're really good. You should teach me how to play..."

And like always he got quieter at the last half XD

Mercy, mercy, mercy
Would you hold and love me;
Help me fall asleep, asleep tonight?

Lonely, cold, and hungry
Starving to be somebody;
Wanting to be, to be your girl...

Take me in and hold me tight
I want our love to shine so bright
It's all a dream, just imagination...

I keep writing songs. It's getting annoying... they're just pieces of one, too. Sigh.

But I am really tired and stuff. Yesterday I had my buddy Hannah spend the night and we played around with my tablet and she drew me Garret X3 it's awesome.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cN8-6Hi8wSE

It's lovely.

The air escapes my shattered lungs
Whenever I see your face;
I've never felt this way before
At least, not at this pace.

I think I'm feeling fantastic and happy and peaceful and I feel like laughing and crying all at the same time.

Nyahhhhh~~~ <3

How are you guys though? Seriously :)

I'm watching Howl's Moving Castle on Youtube; it's tied for first with Princess Mononoke for my favorite Hayao Miyazaki movies. I love him :) He's my favorite! :D

http://dracofangxxx.deviantart.com/art/toyo-149740077

bad nightmare last night... I hope it's as freaky to you as it is to me O.O