Ahh. I like taking photos. I'm getting better at it too :3
Happy thursday! <3
And no, I won't stop spamming with random journals about nothing >:D
HE IS BAAAAAACK! :D
*cough* Sorry. Excited.
And did I mention I'm addicted to Carl Sagan? Seriously, science-riffic, dudes. I should get a snack. But what? O.o
I was going to write something cool. Maybe I should start.
Walking home, I sing and laugh and admire the beauty of the sky, the grass, the glorious feeling of a chill air pressing through my body. All alone.
I don't need anybody, in fact, I usually have alot of fun by myself. The need for other people... it's all in your head.
is not the atoms that go into it, but the way those atoms are put together.- Carl Sagan
God I'm so addicted to this song. It's like... magical. You ever sit outside on a dark night... Away from lights? And stare into the sky? Do you see all those stars? All of those... could be suns for another planet, full of a life... Who could be looking at the same stars and wondering who's sitting out there staring at the sky too.
I got into an arguement with Brea AND Jonah tonight.
Stayed calm the whole time.
<3 I'm proud.
It's a beautiful thing, the planet. The sky, have you noticed it's BLUE? BLUE! The rarest color in nature! Only effectively one food is truly blue- and that's blueberries. Ahh. And have you ever thought for a moment, maybe, just maybe, that nature was made so that we could destroy it and forget how precious it is?
1.) I easily fall in love. Is that good or bad? D:
2.) I am so mood swingy that it gets on my nerves
3.) I have blue eyes and brown hair.
4.) The acne on my chin is pissing me off.
5.) My addiction to video games is... sort of disturbing.
6.) I listen to alot of music, very widespread amounts of it. From speed metal like Sonata Artica and Nightwish (Gotta love the Fins) to Coldplay, Keane, and John Mayer to Linkin Park and Three Days Grace. I'm quite balanced. I also enjoy Yiruma, his piano playing is beautiful.
7.) I'm addicted to Cheetos.
8.) And chocolate.
Because I'm friggin' tired. I stayed up late doing homework, then played my DS because I couldn't sleep.
Till three in the morning. Guess who gets up at six thirty?
Grah! Angry Shelby! >:C
Either way, I am making wayyyyy too many journals lately, probably because Chad still has MY journal after two weeks and I haven't been able to write my stupid stuff in it so I have alot to say. Also because I'm fragile at the moment.
I don't know how to say this, but I know I have to. I am a dreamer. I sit, dream, think, love, hate, long for you. You know me. You know the real me. I let you. I let you find me, take me, hold me, love me. I wish you'd love me in the way I want. I wish it could be true.
I can't believe it. I was WRONG. I thought... I thought I knew who I loved, everyone. But the more I sit and think about it... The more it's easy to see...
I love YOU.
And you'll probably not even read this. Why would you? Even if you did read it, how would you know I was talking about you?
Sure, I love Garret too. But I can't shake this feeling that keeps coming back. Over and over. I listen to music and think of you, and that warm fuzzy feeling overtakes me.
I still seem to love what I cannot have.
Coming off of my manic lows is so peaceful.
It's like my worries, anger, sorrow... have all drifted away to a better place for them to be. Not inside of me.
Ahh... I'll just watch a movie, eat, and listen to music. Then go work on a project at my friend's house. And just relaaaax today.
I think I'm back to the happy :)
that was made while I tried to pry off a key to get the piece of rice out from underneath it. Pretty, no?
Because writing online keeps me sane in real life. Today I'm on a particularily long, but good, writing day. I'm proud of that.
Should I write more? Yes. XD
Haha. I'm feeling better now. Like I'm a telephone wire, and the 20,000 blackbirds that were sitting on me just flew away in one big black cloud...
Hello blue skies.
Holding onto anger also means holding onto love, especially for me. If Jonah's still pissed at me, and won't stop complaining about me, does that mean he still holds love for me? Maybe a little? D:
Oh who am I kidding... sigh...
Because the angrier I get and compare Garret to Jonah, complaining about the things Garret does that Jonah never did, the more I seem to...
Garret kissed me me me me me me me me
And said he loved me me me me me me me
And "you know, you ARE very, very, beautiful..."
And and and and *passes out*
Today. Was. Awesome. For once, I feel like I don't love my boyfriend as much as he loves me.
And it's nice, but sad. He's a sweetheart. My emotional stuff... doesn't scare him. He really doesn't seem to mind, at all. He likes it, I think, me being unique and weird and stuff... I asked him if he minded me looking sad sometimes. He said "No, not at all. You just look like you're thinking about something."