Yay for being 50! :D

I
Am
Tired

and stuff. I'm addicted to singing, even though I suck :c like all day I had "Man in the Mirror" stuck in my head. I think it made me be in a much better mood ^^

Nothing can stop me with MJ on my side! >:D

Sometimes I think I'm living way more dangerously than I should. I always set myself up to get hurt... At the expense of being happy. Huh. I don't get it :x

I hate heartbreak. It's a dirty, horrid thing to have to do to someone. It feels, well, rather like this picture I did yesterday.

http://dracofangxxx.deviantart.com/art/Bullet-154323250
in my hurry to get it finished, I forgot the nose XD
but forgive that.

But for once, I am happy. I don't get myself sometimes.

Any good songs you wanna share? Something catchy.

I'm the most difficult person to deal with EVER I think. I'm so confusing. Hmm.

"I'd give my everything to you
Follow you through the garden of Oblivion
If only I could tell you everything;

You know after a big party or sleepover when everyone leaves and then you're all alone and you get really bored and depressed?

Yeahh... Sleepover Hangover. It rhymes, AND it sucks.

I need someone to talk to. PM me if you wanna chat, either MSN or Gmail works for me.

Have I ever told you guys how awesome you are? You really mean alot to me. I might bring one of my good friends here- He goes by Tuna. Or, at least, he does on Deviantart... He's a sweetheart, so if he does join be super-nice to him, mmk? X3

How'd he find Oasis in the first place?

Why was he reading what I said?

I need a new place to rant out my violent thoughts.

...Fuck, could he be reading this? I'm never safe now. Argh. I almost want to write a really long journal, and then just have him read it.

In fact...

Alright, so I've been in quite a fabulous mood for the last few days! :D
I'm very, very excited because my two best girlfriends in the whole world (No, not dating girlfriends. Maybe I should put a space there? Nah. I'm lazy. Back to the journal) are coming over and spending the night! Yaaaaaay! They both seem very excited, just like me. Oh by the way, I sorta made a little thing for you guys on Deviantart :3

http://dracofangxxx.deviantart.com/art/Love-all-154046777

I'll tell you later. I gotta go to bed :C

:D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D

Now back to business.

Today was Valentine's day at our school technically. It was quite nice. Garret was soooooo sweet, he got me a teddy bear with Starburst and a little cute card signed "Love, Garret" and then a ROSE X33333
It's white with pink tips :DDDDDDDDDD
Happy Shelby.

Either way, I love this site. It's alot of good stress-reliving for me (My methods of stress relieving are cooking, drawing, writing, and cutting. Nobody likes the cutting part) So I'm sorry if I complain too much.

I hurt. I danced so much today. We had a dance at our school, and I went wild. I slow danced with Garret twice. Fun. I played some basketball with Katy too, and Jonah even played a little at the end. He kept looking at me today o.o I don't know if he's pissed at me or what... But it was scary. It wasn't glaring though, so I shouldn't worry. He didn't make any mean comments either. Maybe he wants to make up? I dunno. I sent him a thank-you email for playing with us. I hope it'll be ok. I figured something out about Brea... I'll explain now.

I had just written out a LONG ASS thing that was very poetic and nice, and now I have to do it again.

Rargh.

I'm mixed up inside. Think of trail mix. The nuts, the raisins, the chocolate. All mixed. You get a handful and never know exactly what you're gonna be eating until you put it in your mouth...

The anger, the frustration I feel lately is uncontrollable. Yet, I've never loved myself more. I'm back. Back to what I used to be, who I used to be. I am myself!

Ahh. I love Valdez.

Chaddy, you'll know what I'm talking about XD

Anyways, I was particularily violent today (Probably because of my mom screaming and spitting in my face yesterday) and passing Jonah in the hallway, I rammed my shoulder into his chest.
He was all
"What the fuck is WRONG with you!?"

Well, well Jonah. What the fuck is wrong indeed.

Anyways, and I slapped this other dude in the face. He's a dick too.

Yaaaaay violence! :D

I might start learning to play French Horn. Anybody out there play it? I know it's really difficult apparently.

It's like a love octopus or something. It's overly complicated.

I suppose I should be truthful with you all.

Here's chains of my love life.

Garret Shelby Tophat Chad Ferrets
Garret Shelby Jonah Brea
Garret Shelby Brea Everyfuckingboyattheschool
Garret Shelby Jacob Grady

Why's it gotta be so complicated?
Why can't it just be

Garret=Shelby?

Blahhhhhh. I'm a love whore. Mostly, as I see it, for the people I can't have. This sucks balls. Just like your mom!
Uhm.

I think I'd crossdress around my kids...

...Just a thought...

Imagine that! It's be like, reverse-coming-out with my kids! Oh, you're eighteen? Well BAM HERE LOOK I HAVE BREASTS! >:D THAT IS RIGHT YOUR FATHER IS YAH MOTHER and we're just married wommenz it's aight.

Yo.

...I'unno. It's six forty right now and I'm tired as hell. I'm gonna make breakfast. *sulks away drooling and babbling to myself*

It's a cloudy day today. I got high last night, accidentally, off of the White-out fumes from making a gigantic poster. I have a headache. I took an ibuprofen to try and curb it, but it's not working yet. I can't stop listening to Zox. I missed them.

Short sentences much?

You know how in Hercules, how he's all "I NEED TO GO THE DISTANCE! To find where I BELONG!"

...No, baby. No it's not. It's much worse.

Fuck you, Hedwig. Now he's mad because I didn't tell him myself.

ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.

I had... so much fun yesterday.

Besides my mood-swings.

But I spent alot of time with Hoffer, who was very nice to me. We laughed and played and play-fought and had a long heart-to-heart... about Jonah...

I can't explain anything, I told him I wouldn't tell Jonah or anybody. I told Katy, but only because I was crying. Y'know.

And Garret was nice, a bit clingy... but... I told him today, and he apologized. He's very sweet like that. So I'm talking to him right now, and eating lunch that I made. I've been cooking alot lately :3