"A chair is still a chair even when there no one sitting there" ~ Glee

"Im dancing with myself" ~Glee

"Cry. Cry. No more laughter" ~ Glee

My room is cold, ferociously cold. I wish it was cold enough to numb my heart. I don't understand how people say you control how you feel. I think you can control how much u pay attention to the emotion but its always there. Emotions are basic, non controllable things. You get use to some which is why u think you don't feel them anymore. Thats how i see it.

its a poem with no name.

Cool, Crisp, heartwarming. I stare at you and feel this.
The curves along your face, the sparkle in your eyes. I cant help smiling when you say my name.
Our fingers intertwine, the space between us gone. I blushed when i met your lips.
Started.
The sun hits my eyes, the alarm blares. I sigh as i look out into the sky.
Dreaming again, sleeping again. I hate going to my bed.
Torturing thoughts, growing disappointment. I never want to wake up somedays.
Smiling through the pain, redefine hope. I make my way through life everyday.

"Bring back those good ol days, nothing feels right. nothing ever goes my way..." ~ Bug Eyes.

"Can we pretend that airplanes in the night sky are like shooting stares..." ~ Airplanes.

I love scarfs. ive realized that lately. i like the way the feel around my neck. the way i can play with them, how cute they are. i just love them.
This weekend kinda been lonely. i did nothing the entire weekend. well not true. i didnt leave my house the entire weekend. kinda went stir crazy saturday night but more on that later.

"I look at you all, see the love there that sleeping...while my guitar gently weeps..." ~ While My Guitar Gently Weeps.

"No! you wont fool the children of the revolution." ~ Children of the Revolution.

"I swear it feels like the last few nights We been everywhere and back. But I just can’t remember it all.. What am I doin’? What am I doin’? Oh, yeah, that’s right, I’m doin’ me. I’m doin me. I’m livin’ life right now, mayne And this what I’ma do ’til it’s over. ‘Til it’s over. But it’s far from over….." ~ Over.

:P

"I don't feel the way I've ever felt. I know, I'm gonna smile and not get worried, I try but it shows..." ~ Pain

Im soo confused. What im feeling, calls into tooo many questions.

Yall know sarah, she is the antagonist in this story. Yall know me, im the protagonist in this story. I think yall know michael, he is the middle man.

Glee Starts in today, monday, than all day tuesday...soo three days!!! Who is excited!!!

Moving in and out of the days. Thats what ive been doing. Nothing intense, nothing not intense. Jusr chilling and makin it through the day. so simple. Lifes not bad but its not happy. its alright. Me, im alright. incredibly lonely but thats not unusual. im kinda stressed about SAT, getting good grades, Taking ap exams....

Just tired i am. mentally mostly and than im lazy and i dont get enough sleep. its starting to affect anything trying to get done. Seriously.

I need to quit talking about what i need to do and do it. like study for sat, start research paper, and idk just make better habits...hmmm maybe i should take up what my coach said. he said we should eat healthy...im sorry to say i dont even know what that means. horrible.

"I wanna be more than just sexual but every time im so gone." ~ Im so Gone.

Soccer is now area champs and we have another game thursday. Today practice was shit because we were all tired. Especially, track people who went to track than soccer. So our coach was pissed. I still hate track and wanna quit but im just gonna wait till its over and than not do it next year.

No song that can describe my mood...

Im chill. Last night is the last night ill hang with dk for a while. she just soo damn selfish and soo different than what she showed me and than on top of that. ugh. moving on....
Me and that girl talked a lil last night. she is soo funny and chill and than i finally met this guy everyone had been talking bout. he is funny.
Tommorow, soocer game, first playoff game.

Very little. it seems. cuz im just soo chill and like im always looking for inner peace and i dont have it but im not chaotic inside.

Have a good day!! :)

"And u feel like flying" ~ 15.
"And u'er dancing around the room as the night ends, as the night ends" ~ 15

Hmmm, i think im quite sad and hurt still but i can push through it and i have today when i oh so much wanted to text her but i didnt. i thought we needed time apart and we maybe one day be friends again but i think that thought was fleeting cuz if things keep heading the way it is. ill prolly end up hating her. it hasn't happened yet but if it come to it, im not sure. ill keep her secrets if she tells mine.

"We'll Carry on!!!" ~ Welcome to the black parade. (now u got to think of this soulfully. singing it out with all the desperation and determination of its meaning.)

"I am on a 24 hour Champagne diet, spilling while im sipping. I encourage you to try it." ~ Money to Blow.

Im tired. its early. im up early cuz we are heading out of town on a 7 hour trip during spring break. a trip that dk was fos to come with but because life never goes my way, she isnt. Another thing is that girl who number i got isnt very interesting and really isnt that interested in me. so yeah waste of time trying to get that number but i do feel successful in the fact that i got it. that i broke through fear and got it. so success.

"It's been a long, a long time coming but I know A change gon' come oh yes it will..."
"It's been too hard living but I'm afraid to die Cuz I don't know what's up there beyond the sky..."
"There been times that I thought I wouldn't last for long, Now i think I'm able to carry on..."
~A change is gonna come.

"Why hold hope and admiration for something that will only break me?" ~ME.
"Set me free, leave me be, i dont wanna fall another moment into your gravity" ~ Gravity.

"It's been a long, a long time coming but I know A change gon' come oh yes it will..."
"It's been too hard living but I'm afraid to die Cuz I don't know what's up there beyond the sky..."
"There been times that I thought I wouldn't last for long, Now i think I'm able to carry on..."
~A change is gonna come.

i feel like something is about to happen....or maybe i want something to happen soo bad im tricking myself in believing something will....
Like this sarah girl...she is cool and gives me a weird vibe and im interested in her. but really? what chance do i have?? none.

"When youre fifteen feeling like there nothing to figure out well count to ten, take it in, this is life." ~ 15

I like that song. I love singing it to the freshman who are retarded just like i was at 15. lol. and i also like the music. music draws me a song than the lyrics do. so yeah.
Today is my last English taks test. So ready for it. About to go get breakfast before so i wont be hungry during the 4 hour test. I think my room is going to be quick. After this only 3 taks test left before im done with that. :)