I have 2 answers maybe, one was when me and my brother got lost and had to be rescued by helicopter, which was absolutely humiliating.
But the other is probably more embarrassing, which is about a year ago now, I had a girlfriend, and I was all miserable.
So I called the national radio show Loveline, and then made a mess of myself, to people all over the country. I was thinking afterwards "So now it's not enough to be an idiot anymore? You have to be a nationally witnessed idiot?"
And I guess I've also had several embarrassing moments relating to sexuality... :P
So, finally, I've decided to write that journal I've been intending. Half the reason is it's Thursday, it doesn't really matter how much sleep I get tonight because tomorrow is Friday, then the weekend.
And the other half is because usually now at about 10 I'd be doing homework, but my backpack is in the laundry room, the door to which is right next to my parent's bedroom door, and when I tried to get it about 5 minutes ago, I...heard some things I'd rather not be hearing :P
Gross, I know. So, I'm hoping a good 25 minutes to a half hour is sufficient to get the all clear....
I WAS HAVING SO MUCH FUN WATCHING THE DRAMA I TOTALLY FORGOT ABOUT A ROUGH DRAFT OF AN ESSAY DUE TOMORROW.
Jeez, I've seen a lot of depression today, this girl in 4th period was crying because apparently math and life in general was stressing her out, I really can't judge if she's for real because I really don't know anything about her life outside of school, but I think she's a drama queen. I don't know though.
I wanted to make a journal about lines. Because we see them all the time, and we rarely think about them.
As I look around my room, the amount of perfectly straight lines is staggering, I'd fall asleep if I tried counting even the number on my laptop, because that'd have to be every key has 4 little straight lines on the outside, and all the straight lines in the letters and even in that which I'm writing.
It is a fact that lines are something that we humans quite often see.
I don't know why I didn't post before 11:30 on a Sunday night, but I haven't posted in a while, and I felt like doing it now.
So, today, I was going absolutely stir crazy. I was stuck in the house. And I hate being stuck in the house, I hate this place, I wanna leave every oppurtunity I get.
So, just a few minutes ago I finished Under the Banner of Heaven, by Jon Krakauer, and it was interesting.
I'll talk about it a little tonight, and a lot more soon, probably tomorrow night, when I'll post something interesting and thoughtful.
But tonight, I rant.
So, recently, I've just been feeling worse and worse. For like no reason. I've been feeling trapped.
Probably it's just more of that wonderful teenage angst we all come to know and love.
Wow, what a shitty day. Just like, wow.
ANYWAY, well, as you probably well know, my orthodontist decided to shaft me directly in the mouth with a stupid new treatment thing I don't even want. It's kinda better now. I mean, or course it's still gross and uncomfortable and changes the shape of my face and not in a positive way...
But at least it's not like the first few days when I would get up in the morning, and I would be in debilitating pain, and I'd literally be like just lying there with the light off because it was so effing painful.
I have had what should be, by all measures, a great day.
But I don't feel that great. I'm not even sure why.
ANYWAY, I was thinking about how strange it is to be gay.
It's just weird. Because, like, ya know, about 5% of people are gay.
And whenever I hear numbers like that, if you lined up 20 people, statistically one of them would be gay.
Which seems like both a little, and a lot. A lot, because it's just like wow, I can't say I know any gay people. Well, I probably do, but at least openly gay people.
So is the out rate just really low then? Who knows.
So, I've got a new orthodontic thing. And it sucks.
Or rather, right now, I'm sucking. On it. Like a dildo.
Usually my orthodontist is just content to take our money and do nothing.
But now he actually wants to torture me as well.
So, basically what the procedure is, is my problem was my top teeth in the front were angled backwards, and pushed my bottom jaw back into my head, which is bad.
So, they gave me 2 retainers. There's a top one, with a little block of plastic on either side, in the back of my mouth, between my teeth.
For some reason, I've been thinking of looking through my old journals, but it's not interesting. At all.
The old journals of other people interest me way more.
I mean, you could say that I'm not interested in them because I remember writing them all, but when I look through the journals of someone I remember the beginnings of, it's still more interesting than my old journal.
Maybe I'm just less interesting than most anyone else.
BUT I THOUGHT I WAS THE MOST INTERESTING PERSON IN THE WORLD.
If I don't even interest myself, jeez, what do I have?
Well since my mood and will are kinda in the toilet, I obviously don't even have the will to do homework or go to bed, considering I have a major English project already 2 days late that I still haven't done. Fail. And it's 10:40, so it's not getting done tonight. Maybe my current homework can be saved, we'll see if I can handle it, but I can't at least for a few more minutes of procrastination.
So, since my will is in the crapper, let's talk about death.
Not the concept in general, but specifically about your death. Aren't I a great person?
Yes, I am.
So, I was going to post something deep, but I don't have time.
So I'll just do a quick update, something humorous then I have other things to do!
So, today SUCKED ON COCK. Partly because it's Monday, partly because I was like super stressed over the yelling at I was getting today at swimming, and for some reason I couldn't relax, I was REALLY nervous, no clue why, like I felt my heart and it was racing, for like 3 hours, and I was like, this is like unhealthy to be this nervous. I'm going to break soon here.
Like, almost as nervous as several times when I came out :P
Ugh, I'm tired now.
We had a swim meet yesterday, just a little one day meet.
And the head coach is off in Utah, I think. She's off somewhere, is all that matters.
And since I've been having to do Driver's Ed for the past week, I was relatively out of shape for this meet, as well as being a little too :P
And for some reason, even though I emailed Head Coach that I wanted to go to this meet, she forgot to enter me, or something. I dunno.