...Exactly. NOT A SOUND. =) It's amazing...sigh. I'm home alone tonight, my parents and brother went up to the mountain place for the night, they come back tomorrow afternoon/evening. But until then I get to exist in peaceful silence save for any noise I make. I plan on relaxing this weekend, to de-stress after all the college app madness. Especially since next week I get to enter ACT Prep madness. :(

I got a catalog from Hampshire College in the mail today. I think in my next round of applications this coming fall I'll apply there, during my gap year.

My common application is due this FRIDAY...and I'm at a loss with the common app essay. I keep changing my mind about my topic, and then I don't know where to start. But I think that now I've got it pinned down to human rights, and how it's important to me, etc. But I'm still kinda lost...though I do perform well under deadlines. Despite that I'm worried, really worried.

Any advice? Inspiring thoughts? Comments to help me get my fingers glued to the keyboard until I'm done? Help...

It's sorta snowing here. =) It's really snow flurries that have been happening all day, but they've picked up and started to stick. So maybe we'll have actual snow on in the Peach state come tomorrow. **crosses fingers**

So we're having record level cold temperatures here, in GEORGIA. So it's really friggin COLD. And I'm not opposed to cold. But GA generally doesn't get this kind of weather, so I don't really have the warm wardrobe for it. And we never get snow, which I love, but apparently we might have snow flurries/showers on Thursday, so keeping my fingers crossed.

weird mood right now. Happens sometimes.

Sick of doing the same things over and over, the monotone can be rather frustrating.

Tired of always trying to please everybody else and of always being the one to track people down and make plans.

Sometimes I wonder why I bother, I go out of my way to make things convenient, but if it's such a bother or chore, then what's the point?

Saw Zombieland with my brother last night. It was kind of gross, but funny. I really hope the future apocolypse isn't because of zombie's though, they're seriously f--d up.

It's been awhile Oasis. I pop by occasionally, but I seem to be avoiding this place. Don't ask me why.

Christmas was good. Though my brother rudely interrupted my sleeping in before we could even open anything, because my sister and her husband weren't at the house yet.

-I got black leather boots. =)
-A Gap plaid button down
-A blue & grey scarf
-Gift cards & candy
-Six Feet Under season 4 & 5
-A heated back support cushion for my car

I've been MIA from Oasis for about a month. I just found myself back on Oasis tonight.

It's been one of those days, just weird. I feel strange, just about everything.

It's like I'm just mentally exhausted, from all the wondering and questioning and worrying, and from all the why's, what if's, and maybe's. I'm just...tired. I feel drained, and frozen, as if I'm just paused in this haze. It's disconcerting.

I think I feel disassociated from myself, momentarily. I'm just so tired and I just want something...for myself. A bit of calm or peace I guess.

So on Halloween I went to the Netherworld Haunted House with my friend A and my brother. We had to wait in line outside for over an hour. But it was sooo worth it. Netherworld is effing scary, freaky, and somewhat bizarre. The costumes the people wore were unreal, some were really good. I screamed so much in the house I made myself hoarse. And A gripped my hand so tight and yanked my arm several times, which felt like she was breaking my wrist.

Happy Halloween Oasis!

So I've become sucked in to the Vampire Diaries books. This week I've finished the first four, now I'm on the fifth. I didn't like them at first, but they grew on me. I like series, it means more/bigger books and longer wordcounts! But it's hard to find good fantasy/science fiction series that I haven't already read.

I'm wide awake. I was in the car for 7 HOURS today. Ugh. My mom and I had the college debate AGAIN. SHE brought it up. Though we did come to a somewhat compromise, but I still plan on going far far away. Then we talked about my gap year plans. =) She seems more receptive to my ideas about it now.

I'm fucking sick and tired of this. Tomorrow is the PFLAG chapter meeting for this month. I was finally going to be able to go, and I've wanted to for a few months now. But NO. My dad informed me the other day that I will be going with my mom to drive to visit my grandma. It's about 2 and a half hours driving there, and the same back. It's not that I don't want to see my grandma. I'm just so beyond tired of being at the mercy of everyone else's schedule in my family. I'm like the extra person in the family. I have to schedule around everyone else's schedule.

I had an okay day, considering I have unlucky Tuesdays.

Went to Darkroom Photography, got lost on the way AGAIN, I took the turn to soon. Got invited to the end of class/quarter lunch the week immediately after the class ends. =)

So I slept in laaaaate today. =) I love sleep. Then I mellowed out and watched Blue Crush on tv. I love surfer movies. And surfer girls rock! Yum!

I went to the bookstore just to get out somewhere. I tried to find this book called Stirfry, about a girl who figures out she's gay while starting university and living with two lesbians, written by an Irish author. But I couldn't remember the author's name, so no go. :(

Did I catch your attention Oasis buddies? =) Lol, I took a 7 hour figure drawing workshop today downtown at the art college. It was figure drawing of a nude model...so yeah.

I didn't know if the model was going to be clothed or nude, the sign-up thing online didn't specify. But I had a feeling that it was a traditional workshop, it was at an art school.

I'm so confused a lot of the time. Sometimes I think I'm bi...and then sometimes I wonder if I'm gay and just not ready to let go of the idea of guys. Maybe I'm just too afraid of how much I'd feel I was losing. I don't understand me. I don't understand this.