I'm tired of my dad. He's so controlling. He makes me feel guilty for the most ridiculous things. He pushed my mum out for it, he makes me wonder how the hell I'll make it through the next three years living with him. Especially with my sister gone. she helped when he was particularly bad at me, just like I helped when he was particularly bad at her. But soon that mutualism will be ended, and I'll have to deal with is shit by myself.

Happy birthday to me?

I dunno, it'll prolly feel more like my birthday tomorrow... I get to see skunk, I'm going out to dinner, and I'll be with the people that are actually family-like... rather than just my dad, who's.. I dunno, he's my dad. Whatever. :P

I did get dr horrible on dvd though. And skunk really needs to get better at responding to texts. And.. well.. mrh.

My dad annoys me. He's everywhere. All the time. And needs to know everything, no matter how many times you say nevermind, you were talking to someone else. *sigh*

about skunk.

The thought of him just makes me.. comfortable? I dunno.

We decided today that we aren't gonna be 'official' or whatever. there's no need to be. I like him, he likes me. We're just us. He might date around, and that doesn't bother me a lot - as long as I never feel like the backup guy. Some stuff he said ensured me that I wouldn't. It's exciting. ^^

My mum also seems to understand my need for top surgery... I think as soon as I'm 16 she's gonna help me get it. Which is good, cuz that's when I wanted it.

It's an orange plaid fedora. Fun stuff.

Skunk is pretty cool. I can still actually talk to him. I asked him where we stand, and he asked me whatI want, but said he's not good at real relationships.

I told himt he truth: I'm wayy too tired to know what I want.

Whyssat? Cuz I was hanging out with all of my group friends all day todya. It was hella fun, but hella tiring. Majorrrrrr sugar crash...

but I really don't care.

As it's getting closer to the end of hte year I'm beginning to realize that graduation's gonna suck. I have so many people that I love chilling with that are seniors... meaning they're leaving. It's ridiculous how uncool that is. and my main obsess over guys buddy is leaving next year! She's also my wife... damn I'm in a bad spot. D:

Remember awesome pants guy?

His pants have afacebook fanpage. I had nothing to do with it. So great. xDDD

That's really all I have to report. >>

Fisherman pants. They're thailandish. Turns out he borrowed them from someone whose sister I know decently well. xD

I want a pair. I think maybe my dad'll get me some for my birthday, cuz it's soon. And I told him they were awesome.

Okgo is lovely.

Y'all should go look up... well, there are five videos of theirs that I find necessary to watch.. I assume you've all already watched the treadmill one though, so four. xD

Hm.. Y'all shoudl go look up a million ways to be cruel. Yeahhh... love that one. xD

And I keep wanting to text skunk to tell him the same thing. Nobody else, just skunk. Even thoguh there are about ten other people that I know would love the video.

either I just got asked out or I asked somebody out. It's really hard to tell. xD

In case you couldn't guess, I'm talking about skunk.

We were talking about how we should force each other to watch our tv shows. From there, it proceeded something like this:

Me: So how are you gonna force me to watch?
Skunk: Hm... I'll seduce you!
Me: I don't think I'd be paying much attention to the show...
(Insert random stuff that in the end brings us back to the same exact place)
Skunk: Good. :D

Maybe I like skunk? A little bit? Tidbit? I dunno.

For the record... I don't call him skunk cuz he smells bad. I call him skunk cuz he has a blonde streak in his hair.. and one time he compared it to a skunk. Just for clarification.

But I've had an ongoing conversation with him every day for the past.. acutally I don't remember whether it's been two days or three. Point is, I can actually talk to him. Ridiculous!

And he's queer. And single. And slightly adorable.

My youth group leader is gonna try to help with the whole T thing. I love him.. I really do. :P

I also chilled with the new kid in group for a while yesterday. No, not new kid... newer kid. >>

How 'bout we call him skunk. xD

Anywho, I chilled with him, cuz I'd talked to him before and all that. It was fun... it mightta been a bit awkward at first, but after a while we were actually talking, which is really saying something for me. xD

So I just rememberedt hat I had a dream about superduck about a week ago. You were really pretty in said dream... and blonde. I have no idea why I had it. xP

Also... there was this guy today that was wearing these orange pants that I'd be tempted to call sail pants... sorta.. not because they look like you could sail in them, but because they reminded me of sails (for some reason).

In any case, I want a pair. But I can't find them anywhere, and I have no idea what they're called. It's aggravating. oO

Yeah... that's my only news. :P

It's looking like we're back to the original timeframe - something might happen with the whole T thing when I'm 16. Yayyyyyyyyy... (Not really).

Maybe I'll try to talk to the woman who's somewhat acting as my endo about it in a few weeks...

*sigh*

I had better news. All that came out of my appointment was having blood drawn, which I guess is good news, and being probed very... completely. Which, of course, meant that I got majorly dysphoric. As in... moreso that I can ever really remember being.

I s'pose I shouldn't be so negative... it's a start, after all. It's better than nothing...

And I'm not normally one for caps, so...

Weekend from hell, in any case. Friday wasn't bad, I got to hang out with a friend I haven't seen in agesss.

But I had to wake up at 7:45 on friday to get to my karate test at 9 for which I didn't get to stretch and was just sitting there for 3/4s of the time while the rest was intense workout and it went until 5:30. Yes, you saw that right... 9-5:30.