because i'm starting to loose...that lovin feeling, oh that lovin feeling...
sorry...the song just popped into my head...but seriously...
my feelings aren't as strong for devon anymore...and i'm scared
i cant really explain it...like...on friday it was the last day of school
for two weeks(winter break) and it was after school
we were just sitting there and i really wanted her to leave and stuff
i was anxious to leave and just....i didn't want to be with her...
i dont know about now
i think about her, but...gah...help...it could just be a lapse of...i dont know
and i wont be able to make all those xmas gifts in time by friday
This past Saturday, a senoir at my school died of alcohol poisoning. He was our Commisioner of Internal Affairs, President of the Model UN club, President of the American Canser Society, and friend to just about everyone on campus.
Aydin and I weren't close at all. The most interaction I've ever had with Aydin was a glance in the Awkward Hallway.
i just lost the game....haha
anywho...it'll be devon's and my one month anni...idk if she pays attention to this stuff, but i think i strive for it...i like to date things...haha....i'm such a love sick puppy...XD
ah...don't really know what to writet here...nothing really happened...this weekend...oh wait! oh yeah....ok...
devon wasn't at school and 'cause she was sick...
and so i went to see her after school and we kinda
hung out the door because of her mother's rule
and i was trying to work up the courage to kiss her
on the lips...
i finally tried to and i had an
instead of kissing her on the lips
i kissed her RIGHT under the lips...
like, in between the bottom lip and
above the chin.
i remembered what my choir teacher(who also
happens to be her history teacher) said.
"Just make like a cat. You know when a cat slips
or something and they pretend like they meant
i just realized something...she's been defending me lately :)
like when we were at the library(see previous post)
and to day...we were hanging in my math class cz it was warm in there
and one of my classmates that likes to pick on me and i like to pick on
him, was trying to squish me (i tend to get squished a lot, huh? XD)
and she...threatened him to get off of me...haha... :D remember that
just makes me happy....haha ^///^
sorry, this was a pointless post so 50 points for reading all the way
through and as many rainbow cookies as you want ^^
totally serious...i know the rest of you people who have experianced
extremely cold weather would say 44 degrees F is not that bad, but
for people who are used to lows of 60...not so much....this is pretty
frickin cold for southern cali's....and it rained today...pretty decently, too.
so. devon is slowly...being less shy(?) with me when other people are
around...i was at the library with her and my friends and one of my
friends leaned on me so that she was squishing the arm i write with
and devon was all like, "please stop squishing kimi. if not i'll start
would you please translate this into french for me?
you don't have to...you can if you want to...
"If you were a star, what would you do?
I'd fall from the sky to be with you."
thank you so much. <3
devon's mom found out about us...and she's kinda cool about it...
but she told devon that we aren't allowed to be alone at her place...
we haven't even kissed yet! oh well...at least she didn't go crazyparent
on her...and isn't telling us that we can't be together....that's good....
her hands are cold and my hands are warm,
she never gets cold, but i for sure do,
one time, when my hands were cold, hers were warm(Oo'),
she now believes she's a mutant.
i like that last one...it cracks me up...
man, before, i was on cloud 15...i'm on the fucking stars now :)
in case you didn't know what it is...
devon and i wondered why it was called that...after eskimo kissing...haha
also...the 11:11 thing...
i dont think there was a point to this post...except to say that
it took me forever to leave devon's house...mostly because i'd say bye
and we'd just stand there, holding each other...and she told me about
her pets...they're rather funny pets...haha ok
STUPID STUPID STUPID!
i spent seven agonizing days without devon and i was
a fucking inch away from her, the perfect opportunity to kiss her,
and i dont. whatthefuck.
i swear, sometimes i just wanna punch myself in the face.
i always mess things up for myself...it's almost like i WANT to be miserable
is that normal? enjoying the feeling of being miserable and feeling
insecure? i'm so stupid. for ranting about this while some of you actually
are miserable. i'm so selfish. i'm such a jerk...stupid.
i hate breaks.
i hate being away from my friends,
and before you say "but you can still hang out with them!"
stop. i can't.
i'll be gone for most of next week with my family doing nothing.
i still have my cold...coughing/hacking my head off.
my lower left side of my back hurts.
i can sing in pitch and have to cough every couple notes.
bookworm, you feel me, right?
the only thing i'll be looking forward to is thursday,
where there's a slight possiblity that i'll be able to go watch
new moon with my mom and possibly blue...i really hope so.
people are harassing me about my girlfriend (oh my gawd it's so fun
saying that word :D) anywho, they attack me with questions and stuff
and i never know how to answer because i just find it awkward and stuff
and everytime i'm with blue and i say hi to my friends they give me one of
those smiles...those suggestive ones or something like that...
it scares me that people i rarelt talk to come up to me all of a sudden
and ask me who my girlfriend is...
all this started when i changed my status on facebook to
"in a relationship" instead of "married"...
so about blue and i...
we walk aroung school holding hands at times
we hang out after school
we hung out at her place
listened to evanesense, or however you spell that
when i was about to leave we spent a couple mins
just holding each other
and i kissed her on both cheeks like french people do
she told she that she felt like a nervous child
and wouldn't make eye contact with me
i bugged her until she told me what was wrong
appearently she's annoyed by how shy she is
nothing i can do but make all the advances right?
I HAVE A GIRLFRIEND AND THAT GIRLFRIEND IS BLUE
ALL CAPS BECAUSE I'M SO HAPPY AND SORRY TO ALL
OF YOU WHO FEEL DOWN OR ARE UPSET! I'LL GIVE
YOU A HUUUUUUUUG!
AND RAINBOWS AND UNICORNS AND FAERIES FOR ALL!