So today I was supposed to get my permit but as it turns out the MVA added a shit load of requirements that I was out of the loop with. So driving is a no go. I'm going on Wednesday though! Tomorrow I'm going to get more chalkboard paint and the square bulletin boards so I can finish my bedroom.
I'm happy, things are going good. I'm COMPLETELY over Mallory and I love this feeling. Like I'm emotionally independent now, even though there is this one girl who I'm pretty sure I like (never going to happen though). I deleted all the pictures she sent me, threw out all the glowsticks she gave me, shit I'm even redoing my room, kind of. I spray painted one of my walls into a chalkboard. I'm excited for it to be done.
Happiness: Adj. how I feel at this exact moment.
I'm about to begin a night of sober art. Excited? Very much so.
Today I hung out with my mom. I took her to the movies to see 500 Days of Summer. She drove and I paid for everything. Then I took her to my favorite sub/chill out place. She never knew where I went with my friends and I took her to where we always are. I hope it was a bonding moment.
The last couple of days have been pretty unproductive. I've pretty much much worked, slept, and ate. Not too bad I guess. I actually played basketball for the first time in almost a whole month yesterday. It was a horrid site at first, but then again I was in jeans, nice shoes, and a tee shirt. Once I changed into some basketball clothes I was pretty much beast again. Haha. I thought that after a while of not playing you'd lose your shot completely, but I guess not? At first I lost it, the first three shots or so, then it all came back to me and I was draining my three's again.
Wow. So uh, I just found out that Mallory's in a relationship.... over facebook. She might just be saying it for dramatic effect though, a lot of my friends tend to do that. I think I'm almost completely over her. Like if she is in a relationship it'll hurt, sure, I knew this was going to happen though. Everyone lives a different life and she's living hers. Would I prefer her to be back in Maryland, of course. But that would be selfish and no one should be held back in life. She texted me at 2am....again. Fuck the three hour time difference.
Things have been like a roller coaster lately, and I kind of love it.
Last night I hung out with the FabFour and we drove down this one road going 90mps. Now this isn't your average road, it has turns and a shit load of hills. Then Austin turned off his headlights and we drove in the dark; I'm not going to lie, it was scary.
The last entry I wrote made me realize how worried I actually am for Shelby. I know the last time I talked to her she was living in and out of a van, being beaten by her brother and getting kicked out of her house on a daily basis. Now she's just gone?
I hope she's sober(ish). I hope she didn't get fired from her job, I hope she plans on returning to school in 22 days like the rest of us, I hope she alive.
Today I went college shopping with John, he leaves in two weeks. I don't really know what I'm going to do without him. He is my best friend, honestly. Emily and Shelby are good friends but he is by far the most reliable. Emily hasn't really talked to me all summer, and I gave up trying to talk to her. She'll text me on her own time and I always think twice about replying, I think it's more of me wanting to give her what she's giving to me, a lack of time and interest. Shelby on the other hand, she's just doing her own thing. She got caught up in the bad life.
I'm cleaning out my room,
and packing my bags.
You text me then you won't reply,
I love the games you play even though your miles away.
Mallory texted me to tell me how much she loved the CD I made for her. Awesome? Not so much. She won't reply, hence the stanza above. These games she plays aren't so cute anymore.
Ahh Jesus Christ. Taylor is too much at times! He keeps saying how much chemistry we had and how it felt natural and good TO HIM. To me it felt like a chore, something I had to do so I wouldn't hurt his feelings. All we did was make out but I guess that's a great significance in his life. I'm trying to tell him it won't work out because he's a guy and I'm way into girls. Like I told him it felt weird to kiss him because of his gender but he still won't give up!
GUYS DON'T GET CLUES.
Oh man oh man. Yesterday was crazyy, like honestly, crazy. I hungout with Taylor. He likes me sooooo much but I really don't feel the same. I feel kind of bad too because I'm a huge flirt and I led him on.... and I like kissing people so that didn't help at all. Oh yeah so now my hand is swollen like a bitch. I guess my body doesn't like mosquito bites. Now I'm on a shitload of Benedryl and steroids. Awesommeeeee! I'm quite out of it at the moment.
Ah the carnival is in town for the week. It's pretty damn cool considering the new location, our very own, Kent Island High School parking lot. I'm amazed it actually fits to be honest.
Today at work my boss was stressed out and started saying how maybe the job wasn't for me. I was freaking out, like honestly if you can't hold a job at Dunkin' Donuts I'm pretty sure your a failure at life. I didn't even screw up bad or anything.
So..... I'm going on a date with a dude. Haha his names Taylor and he's in a band. He's one of those guys that's so nerdy it's cute. He knows I'm into girls and I guess he doesn't care? It's pretty weird considering I'm not really attracted to guys and I consider myself fully gay. Hopefully he's not looking for a relationship and this can just be a fling, because I'm down with flings (not to sound whorey or anything). He's a nice dude though, not going to lie.
Good good good lifee. Last night was awesome. John, Amber and I rode around KI having a photo shoot, played the guitar on some rocks, sang the "smelly cat" song from Friends, and found a smelly cat. Then we went back to Amber's house and Austin, Christie, Nick, and Nate came over and we all watched a shit load of movies, got free donuts, and played Guitar Hero.