IG was super happy because her not-boyfriend kissed her. Naturally, this was all she was able to talk about all day today. She walked into homeroom with the biggest smile ever on her face, which was strange because most of us are zombies until 3rd period.

Me: IG, why so happy? It's way too early to be happy!
IG: SUPER DUCK. OH MY GOD GUESS WHAT!
Me: What...?
IG: HE KISSED ME!
Me: Oh, that's good!
IG: EEEEE :D

She told FCG about it today and then worried if not kissing anyone until age 16 made her lame. FCG said, "No, I didn't kiss anyone until I was 16 either." I am now about to die trying to figure out who this could be. It's probably someone I don't even know since she had already been 16 for a few months when I met her last school year. She didn't tell us about it, so maybe it actually was a girl. Hmm. I must know. I must! Well, exactly who it was doesn't matter... I'm really just dying to know if it was a girl.

So, my friends are kind of a bunch of assholes. I love them, but at the same time, I really hate them because they say stupid shit. At the beginning of lunch today, we were getting along fine, and no stupid shit was being said. IG had just told me that she thinks she might be agnostic or an atheist. I'm probably the best person in our school to go to about that since I think I seriously am the only openly nonreligious person in our school. So, yeah, we were talking about that. Then, the conversation turned to her not-boyfriend. She very strongly believes that the "not" part will be removed this evening, and she's very, very, VERY excited.

IG: I just know he's gonna ask me out! I'm soooo excited!
Second Friend: Well, you have been saying this for over month now...
IG: But he's going to! I just know it! It's Valentine's Day! Ahhh, I'm so excited! Haha, sorry, you guys, I'm just really excited.
Me: It's okay to be excited!
Second Friend: Hey, it's even a good thing to be excited over a guy. That means you're not gay!
IG and Second Friend: HAHAHAHA
Me: Uh...

Thanks, you guys. I love you too. You guys only picked on me for being gay for, oh, 3 years or so until you decided to grow up and stop and sort of apologize. Oh, there's just no way you could possibly know I'm gay. But it's all okay. You didn't hurt anything because it's not like the icky gays have feelings anyway, riiight?

Today I went to the doctor since I'm still sick. He scared me because he said that if my medicine doesn't work, I'll have to get X-rays. :( Then, after that, I got some coffee (which was good but a giant mistake since I likely failed my chemistry test because I had to use the bathroom so badly) and bought a skirt. My mom let me stay out that long because we weren't doing much of anything for the first few classes today. I finally went to school at the beginning of 4th period. As I had figured, I didn't really miss anything. I got to see my algebra test from a few days ago, which I made a high C on. That's pretty good for me when it comes to math.

It snowed again today, and we got out of school early. Old Crush and a guy from my history class just posted on facebook that there's not going to be any school tomorrow, either. The only downside to this was that I didn't get to go to French class and therefore talk to FCG, who was back today. I miss my freakazoid... I'm glad to know she's better, though! When I heard she got "really sick," I was worried.

My economics teacher said it was definitely not going to snow. HAHAHA! He was so, so, sooo wrong! There's a shitload of snow outside now! Oh, while I'm thinking about economics class, I love this conversation I overheard:

Cute Cheerleader: Monsters were gonna get me, so I was scared to stay by myself.
Guy: Uh, when was this?
Cute Cheerleader: ...Last week.

So, from what I know about Cute Cheerleader, she's a hippie flower princess who is afraid of monsters. Niiiice. If she wasn't straight, she might be a freakazoid too. I mean, she looks like a freakazoid, and she's definitely weird, but she's pretty happy with her boyfriend! Of course, she could also always be a closet bisexual, but she hasn't given me any reason to think that yet.

Guess who only teaches sophomores and juniors and is more than likely retiring my senior year of high school, meaning I'll be in the last class to have to deal with her bullshit? Mrs. Freakin' History Teacher! Wow, I hate life! What shitty timing!

So, before I rant, you guys have to hear about my dream last night. I think it was symbolic somehow. Okay, so before I tell the dream, you guys have to understand that FCG has a ton of supposedly-straight female friends that are always allll over her. Two of them go to my school.

In the dream, I came to school with a giant container of chocolate chip cookie dough. I was so proud of my massive amount of cookie dough, so I plotted to overthrow the lunch ladies and steal an oven to make me some delicious cookies. Eventually, lunch time came, and my plan was successful! I had a giant platter full of piping hot, delicious, chewy chocolate chip cookies. I was so happy. But as I was carrying the platter out of the lunch room, those two girls stopped me. They wanted some of the cookies! They didn't even ask, either. They just started grabbing handfuls and handfuls. I was mad, but I had a mission that hadn't even occurred to me prior to that moment. I just HAD to save a cookie for the freakazoid. I just had to. It was like, a matter of life and death importance. Eventually, the thieves walked away, and I was left with four cookies. I was NOT happy. I saved one cookie for FCG and one for myself, then I gave the other two to some random friends because I felt so loserish and defeated.

My mom was talking to one of those church people at the Super Bowl party last night, and a woman asked where I went to school and stuff. This conversation occurred:

Woman: Where does Super Duck go to school?
Mom: She's in the 10th grade at ((school name)). She hates it with a burning passion.
Woman: I went there... I hated it too.
Mom: Yeah, I think about 90% of the people who've been there at some point hated it.
Woman: There was this one teacher I had in the 10th or 11th grade, and she just made me hate the world. I think she still teaches there.
Mom: Oh? Who was she?
Woman: Mrs. History Teacher.
Mom: SUPER DUCK HAS HER! She's the bane of Super Duck's existence. She's racist, rude, unable to stay on topic, and under the delusion that her class is more important than life itself.

Everyone who ever had Mrs. History Teacher for a teacher hated her. Well, everyone except FCG. I have no idea how FCG could possibly have liked her, but she apparently did. Crazy, crazy freakazoid! The freakazoid also might have just implied that she wants to go see the Justin Bieber movie. Uhh, should I be disappointed in her? As someone who lives with an 8-year-old girl, I'm pretty sick of Bieber's music, but I could never, ever, ever be all, "GRRR FCG IF YOU LISTEN TO JUSTIN BIEBER THEN YOU AREN'T MY FREAKAZOID ANYMORE AND I DON'T LOVE YOU!" I think it's at least proper grounds for being disappointed, though. :P He's a very random artist for her to listen to, considering she likes bands like Taking Back Sunday and The White Tie Affair, neither of which are very Bieber-ish.

My mom is forcing me to go to a Super Bowl party later. I barely even know what football is. Also, her church is going to be there, and it'll be super awkward. Ughhh, there had better be some eye candy there, but I highly doubt it. But FCG does not grasp the idea of football or why it's popular either, so I am not alone! If freakazoids don't like it, then it is no good.

I feel so gross right now. I'm having that icky sinus drainage feeling in my throat, and I've sneezed a lot today. Also, my grandma got this fried chicken from a local restaurant that sells tons of fried chicken every Sunday. It's very good chicken, but every time I eat it, I have an awful stomach ache for a couple of hours due to all the grease. I hadn't eaten any in a while and forgot about this until I was well into my second piece.. OOPS.

Oh, you guys have to hear about this really freaky experience I had last night. I was staying at my dad's place since my sister was having a sleepover. My dad decided to go to his girlfriend's house, though, so I had it all to myself. He gets way more channels than I do at home, so I had the TV on and was just kinda flipping through the channels.

I didn't go to school today. There was lots of ice on the roads, and I live pretty far away, so it wasn't safe. My chemistry teacher, who lives near me, called this morning and told me not to go, even though we had school today. Pretty much anyone who lives more than a few minutes away didn't go to school. I talked to FCG on facebook, and she says there is barely anyone at school, and like 4 of her teachers were out. I miss my freakazoid, though. :( I'd be sitting in class with her and ignoring the teacher right now if I was at school.

Mrs. History Teacher ruined my life. Okay, not really, but she is trying pretty hard to destroy my dreams of going to Sweden and getting with a bunch of hot Swedish strippers! According to Mrs. History Teacher, European women don't shave anything, even their legs and armpits. Shit, she can't be serious! Is this, like... true? Please, please, please tell me it's not. I just kind of assumed that most women in Western countries shaved at least their legs and armpits.

IG has been trying to get this guy to ask her out for about a month now. FCG and I wonder why she can't just ask him herself, but it apparently doesn't work that way and we are weird for suggesting it. Hey now, not nice! How were we supposed to know? Hahahaha! (Is it really, like, against the rules of heterosexual dating for a girl to ask a guy out? But what about super shy dudes? Is that where 40-year-old virgins come from?)

FCG seemed sad today, but she said she wasn't. Hmm... Poor freakazoid. Seeing her sad kind of made me sad too. She seemed better when I waved to her after school, though, which made me feel better. I don't want my freakazoid to be sad. :(

I talked to FCG a LOT today because IG, who usually steals her attention, was busy. We mostly talked about our families and stuff and a few other things. (Also, I love how she said she likes to go places to check out cute people. She did not say "guys," as almost every other girl at my school would. She said "people." I've noticed that she seems to say this type of thing more when talking to me than when talking to most others.) Also, this conversation:

FCG: So, there are some really flaming gay guys. I know this really flaming gay guy. But there are also some really masculine lesbians. They're like... opposites!
Me: Yep.
FCG: Do you think a lot are like that?
Me: I think it's pretty even, actually. Some people are, and some aren't... But there are lots of feminine, "straight-seeming" girls out there who like other really pretty girly girls, you know~ ((Hint, hint, freakazoid!))
FCG: Oh, I know that!

"OH, I KNOW THAT!" Oh, freakazoid... Hahahaha! Of course you do! You of all people would!

I don't even know what started it. She just randomly started talking. Haha. She doesn't ever rant about hating gay people anymore, either. Hmm, progress! Now we just need to get her to admit she's in Narnia.

My mom made me so mad last night. I probably bombed my history test today because every time I tried to study this weekend, she yelled at me. Last night, however, she came in and yelled for 45 minutes. Why did she do this, you ask? Well...

My sister said yesterday that she saw a ghost and heard voices. She may just be attention whoring like most 8-year-olds do, but my mom constantly says stuff like that around her because my mom actually does hear voices and see things. That unsettles me a LOT, but that's another story. Anyway, I said, "Oooh, you must be going CRAZY!" all jokingly, but she is a humorless little girl who cannot take a joke, so she cried to mommy.

I didn't really mind that my mom yelled at me for being "mean" to my sister, since every single thing I do to the little brat is somehow mean, but she went into this huge rant about how seeing things and hearing voices is completely normal and that all normal people do it. Umm... Okay. I said that those were usually signs of mental illness, and she said there was no such thing as mental illness, only "demonic spirits."

I got my sushi, which was good. However, that was about the extent of today's goodness. After that, my grandma dragged me to Walmart with my 8-year-old brat sister. While in there, we saw one of those girls who talks shit about FCG. Unfortunately, this was the one I have a class with, so she knows me and decided to try to talk to me. I was civilized, but I was frothing with rage on the inside.

My sister was a monster the entire time. I had to take her to the toy section so my grandma could do her shopping in peace. Brat Sister never listens to me when I'm in charge, and it really pisses me off. Sorry, Brat Sister, but you do have to listen to me when I'm in charge, even though I'm not in my 20s, which seems to be your definition of "acceptable authority figure." I am twice your age, you little whiner, so I know a thing or two more about how to behave in Walmart than you do. Ughhh.

I am craving sushi so hard I might die. Sadly, I won't be able to have any tonight. It's a dark, dark day. I HAVE to have it! Ughhh! This sucks so much! My grandma brought in some fast food crap, which I really, really, really do not want because my pants feel tighter than normal today. I would've had noodles or cereal instead... I really wish my mom had actually asked me whether or not I wanted Granny to bring me anything because I really don't like fast food much. However, she said we're going to the Japanese restaurant tomorrow for lunch. YES! SUSHI TIME! Wow, I need to exercise. I'm such a fatty.

I got the full story about what happened yesterday. The freakazoid kept saying it wasn't nearly as bad as people made it seem, but the fact that someone tried to hurt her is beyond rage-inducing. PM me if you care to know the entire story... I'm not posting it publicly for someone in my school to find. Let's just say that Whorebag got some of her skanky little friends to spread around a few lies. One of them tried to ask my group of friends a question about a project today, and I made a point of looking away disgustedly. She just kind of went away after that. Also, half of my third period class was trashing FCG today because one of Whorebag's friends is in there. I realized that I was pretty much trembling with rage, so I tried to avert my attention, but it wasn't working. Suddenly, the quiet girl who drives the same kind of car as me decided talk. And she didn't just say words... She said pro-freakazoid words! I was so proud.

Sooo, some shit went down today! One of those girls tried to hurt FCG. She got suspended, and I don't know what happened to FCG. The very mental image of someone trying to hurt FCG pisses me off so fucking much, so I'm not even going to type much about it because I don't feel like exploding with rage. If I think about it for too long, I rage so hard I just can't even function properly. Now that entire group of bitchy girls who no one likes is talking shit. Why are these whorebags so anti-freakazoid? I mean, really! Freakazoids are total sweethearts if you're nice to them. If you're not, then yeah, you're kind of screwed since they can definitely rage, but hurting freakazoids (especially that one!) ought to be a felony! In fact, that would be one of my first orders of business if I took over the world. If you are found guilty of cruelty to freakazoids or even attempted cruelty to freakazoids, you must head straight to the dungeons! Do not pass go or collect $200!

I fucking hate whorebags. I hate them almost as much as I like freakazoids. They're like, the inverse of a freakazoid! Freakazoids are cute, charmingly weird, and super huggable. Almost everyone loves freakazoids! They're so great. Whorebags are greasy, annoying, and of inferior intellect. Who'd want a whorebag!? They're so gross.

Dude, I want to make a cartoon like, soooo badly. It would be the most plotless, pointless, and nonsensical thing ever, and it would have 80's-esque music in the intro. There would be neon colors, talking animals, epic laser robot battles, and some freakazoids. It would be completely ridiculous, and even the characters in the show would know it, but they'd still make everything super serious business anyway. I would be the main character. And it would have a cheesy spin-off video game that would have shitty graphics and crazy awesome boss battles, like a Stalin robot (equipped with lasers!) and an army of possessed children with chainsaws.

Newspaper Girl and I didn't have to do any work today, so we just looked at younger kids' art projects. They were... interesting. Why do all 12-year-old girls seem to want to marry Justin Bieber or Robert Pattinson? Also, these kids weren't very creative. :( There were a few projects that were pretty cool, though!