Note: this is a part of a conversation, so parts of it may or may not make sense out of context.
me: All humans are selfish, cruel, and passionate creatures.
Mainly the first two.
dingle.hopper.dinglehopper: i think i'm more passionate and cruel than selfish
i'm passionate about a lot of things
me: Passion is an unfortunate side affect of humanity. As is Selfishness and Crualty.
All things human fall from these, except for the exception, which is the Appreciation of Beauty.
Not the loneliest guy/In the world...
Interesting how well lyrics can fit a state of mind....
My own denial of how much I keep myself away from people. My own hatred of myself... And the fact that I can convince myself that I'm happy, at times... I tell myself that I'm lucky to be me, that I can see things the way I do... But other times I look at just how many people hate me...
From the same song,
All the pages that have turned/all the errors left unlearned/but I'm the luckiest guy...
I'm done. I don't want to live any more.
Thank God for you, Josh... Thank God I have you to hope for. Otherwise I'd die right now...
Thank God for your voice.
Thank God for your face.
Thank God for your mind.
Thank God for your hands.
Thank God for you.
If I didn't have the hope that you might care for me the way I care for you, I don't think I'd be alive right now.
Life is the miserable space between Fantasies.
Life is when you can't avoid the reality of the subject.
Life is where friends betray you.
Life is where friends destroy you.
Life is when you can't trust anyone.
Life is when you can't go somewhere inside your head.
Life is when you can't disappear.
Life is when you have to build Walls.
Life is Hell.
I've given up on someone.
I tend not to think of people as being hopeless, whatever their beliefs about themselves may be... But I'm only human.
I wish I could be like some of you, who are patient, and can deal with these things. But I can't do it. I can't handle this.
I try to help someone, and they push me away constantly. They don't listen to me... When they know I'm right.
I can only take so much of this. Goddamnit, Shelby, I'm only human.
So I'm done. I've cut myself off from you, something I promised myself i'd never do to someone.
I think... J just accepted me asking him out.
O.O Sinking in...
I'm so happy! This is GREAT!
I hate everything right now. Except maybe J. He makes me happy. But everything else... Ugh.
J might be going on Oasis... And he knows what account I am... And he'll see my posts about him...
1. GET MARRIED
Yippee. I think I'm depressed again. I don't even feel much like typing.
Why must everyone be so rude? Today I met someone who would argue over the most petty little things, I get home and fight with my father, and I get here and get all but ridiculed for gaining a faith.
There's a reason I tend towards misanthropy.
Four Years by Senses Fail is one depressing song. Of course, it fits the album quite well.
Excellent album, by the way, it's one of my favorites.
It is in no way ironic that I have found faith. I have never hated religion, I have only hated the Church, in one form or another. I sometimes get the two confused.
However, I have found something to believe in... I now consider myself a follower of Meher Baba. For those of you who do not know him, Wikipedia is a reliable source in this case.
There is no church... No prayer... No rituals... Just love. I think that this is wonderful. I've found religion again.
I can hear them in my head
telling me they want me dead
I can't breath without them knowing
I can't walk without them showing.
All my friends ask what is wrong,
as if they can't hear Henry's Gong,
But I can tell, before too long,
they'll try and kill me with a song.
The men and women in my brain
keep telling me that I'm insane
I don't believe them, how could I?
If they keep telling me why to die?
Everyone is watching me,
I can see you, Harper Lee.
Nobody admits it's true,
but I know that it's always you.
Listening to them again,
For those of you who remember, there was once a fellow who passed this direction who called himself A Lonely Wind, made a couple of posts (Pissed a bunch of us off) and disappeared.
Well, since it's been a long time, I figured everyone had figured it out. But apparently not. Well, as I thought I made obvious at some point, I was the one who wrote that post.
Thought I'd let you who remember know. None of you care, I'm sure, but now you know.