I think that i'm going insane, really.

I'm a bit of a Doctor Lecter, really.

Love lost, and whatnot.

I'm breaking down completely.

I hurt her, but only because she hurt me.

I think.

Well, so it goes.

I hate it.

I hate me.

I think I loved her. Maybe I still do.

I really am a bit mad, methinks.

I'm sure you've already figured this all out, but I've fallen for someone... a female, in fact.

I'm an oddity.

Anyways, I'm just happy. Really, really happy.

*HUGS Lol-Taire* Just because I wanted to.

*HUGS Nanook* Cuz you're awesome.

*HUGGLEKISSES Shelby* Cuz I love you more than anyone in the universe.

I'm happy! So very happy!

Love is nature's way of giving a reason to be living, you know. It's the golden crown that makes a man a king.

She's given me that crown. She makes me so happy. So, so happy. I love her. I lover her very, very much.

I've found what I've been looking for. I've finally found it, and I hope it stays for a long, long time. I suppose I'm bisexual after all. Haha!

I adore her! She's so wonderful!

Yes, true love, a many-splendored thing!

You are lovely.

You are wonderful.

You tell me you aren't, constantly, but I love you.

Nothing thrills me more in my life than hearing the words "I love you, too".

You're so wonderful, I don't deserve you.

And yet, somehow, I don't need to.

You tell me you don't deserve me, constantly, but I love you.

I want nothing more than to make you happy.

I think of you so often now.

I love you.

I love you.

I love you.

Song of Childhood
By Peter Handke

When the child was a child
It walked with its arms swinging,
wanted the brook to be a river,
the river to be a torrent,
and this puddle to be the sea.

When the child was a child,
it didn’t know that it was a child,
everything was soulful,
and all souls were one.

When the child was a child,
it had no opinion about anything,
had no habits,
it often sat cross-legged,
took off running,
had a cowlick in its hair,
and made no faces when photographed.

When the child was a child,
It was the time for these questions:

I adore you, O man. Your body is exquisite, your skin so soft, so smooth, and yet your hands are rough in holding me. Take me, engulf me in your beauty, O man. Love me, as I love you. O man, see me as I see you.

I've been accused enough times of that, so here goes.

Communism is a false form of socialism.

I now quote the Socialist Party USA:

A teacher was talking to a new kid at school, and told him apparently,

"Watch out for the gay one, he's dangerous. You never know what he'll do, he changes like the seasons and lashes out at just about anyone. He hurts people, be careful."

O.O Who does she think she is?

A friend (Now former) told me in response to my gender

"It's stupid. You seek attention. You're either male or female or tranny. You cannot be both [Ahem. Tranny isn't a gender, as I recall, and if it were, wouldn't that mean you can't be all of them as opposed to "both?]. You have one name."

!?!?

What a bitch. That was the most ignorant thing I'd ever heard in ages.

I've decided that I'm going to use my male and female names interchangeably from here on out. Hedwig being my female name, and my male name remaining undisclosed due to my raging paranoia.

I'm using them interchangeably because I don't think that I should keep myself constricted to one gender. I'm going to continue to view myself as neither gender, and I will expand upon this subject presently.

I'm thinking of creating my own little gender for myself... I call it Felo. It's basically a homonym with fellow, and unrelated to fellatio, you perverted creatures.

Tearing off parts of your own skin,

Wanting out of that stench you know so well.

Can you feel the draw of death in your own sin?

Taking you closer and closer and closer to hell.

Merry Christmas, stupid masses and hell-hounds.

I can't wait to get you all what you deserve.

Your filthy lies and passions and shit-mounds

only seem to give you more and more nerve.

I want to tell you lovely bastards and bitches

just how much I despise you.

And since you seem to know I think that this clinches

I just want to say, "fuck you".

Merry Christmas, Capitalist Pigs,

I suppose you could say I have been inspired. Hah.

I'm considering changing my name, officially. I wonder what an acceptable name would be. Preferably unisex.

Hah. I'm seriously considering Hedwig.

I'm having a hard time right now. I suppose.

I'm probably going to try going out with some females for a while... I'm not notably interested in them, but I'm just trying to find what I'm looking for, and whatever it is isn't where I'm looking now.

Well, I may not be online for a while... just fyi. I dunno. It depends on how I feel at the moment, I suppose.

Jamie Campbell Bower (Still not over him)

Brent Corrigan (If you don't know him, he's all mine)

Chris Colfer (Kurt from Glee)

[Note from Top Hat: I adore this. This made me laugh and dream at the same time. I hope you enjoy it, too. The lesbians might not enjoy it as much, sadly, but meh. Screw it.]

Michael Swift: "Gay Revolutionary"

from Gay Community News, Feb. 15-21, 1987

(reprinted from The Congressional Record, with preface restored)