Fascist Fascination and Face Dancing

Tophat — Thu, 29 Apr 2010 05:41:43 +0400

For your safety-

great. That's lovely. I need to hear THAT.

It's all for your safety.

That excuses it all, doesn't it?

Yes. Lovely.

Why does it always become a problem?

Why is the good always a bad?

BUGGERY.

LIES.

FOOLISHNESS.

SENSELESS DESTRUCTION.

Let's make a new face, eh?

Let's start again.

But that's wrong, it seems.

Face Dancing is morally incorrect, it seems.

I don't understand, though.

A face is a mask.

A mask is a persona.

A persona is a mere part of a whole.

Humans are complex.

The Final Post... seriously. I'm tying off the loose ends and cutting off the dead weight.

Tophat — Tue, 20 Apr 2010 07:11:41 +0400

Hey all. For those of you who remember me, I'm leaving for good.

Yes, I'm the cause of Chad's leaving.

Yes, I'm a bloody great monster.

No, this was not my intention.

I'm starting fresh. Cutting off the dead weight of my life and finishing some unfinished business. Yeah, Chad was one of those cases and I succeeded in my end. I apologize for you loss of him on this site, that was not at all what I wanted.

This is goodbye. I've not been on this site steadily in a long time... so I'll be honest and say I've already gone and missed you.

Raven's Face- A Poem

Tophat — Sat, 10 Apr 2010 08:54:36 +0400

So it is said, so it shall be,

Ah, inevitability.

The sweetest thing I'll ever see

spending my days in glad ennui.

I cannot show how weak I stand,

I cannot leave this post unmanned,

We mustn't fret, we mustn't fret,

We have stolen all we can't get.

We cannot lie, we cannot lie,

All men in time, destined to die.

So it is said, so it shall be,

Ah, inevitability.

The angels doth look 'pon his soul,

and see that it has become cold;

'Pon his face, pale as winter's night

such beauty and yet without life.

His sorrow as he sings "Shalom",

I can't wait for.... something to happen.

Tophat — Fri, 09 Apr 2010 00:20:07 +0400

sheesh. I have nothing interesting to report.

I want something fun.

I want more gay people around me.

Nyah.

Blade Runner- The Rooftop (An amazing scene from an amazing film)

Tophat — Wed, 07 Apr 2010 09:58:44 +0400

Going, going, gone (A Short Poem. Bear with me, I haven't written poetry in a while.)

Tophat — Wed, 07 Apr 2010 07:00:23 +0400

Going, going, gone.

How far have we fallen?

Going, going, gone.

How far shall we fall?

I can't see the light, I have lost my feelings.

I can't see what's right, too much dirty dealing.

"Fiery the angels fell. Deep thunder rolled around their shoulders... burning with the fires of Orc."
-Roy Batty, Blade Runner

I really can't stress enough...

Tophat — Mon, 05 Apr 2010 05:39:12 +0400

The meaning of life is not wealth, nor is it happiness, nor is it religion. The meaning of life is to create beauty, in all forms. This should bring you happy, and there are those who think religion is beautiful, but beauty is the meaning of life.

Period.

Whether it be art, music, statues, or books, knowledge.... The human genome, even, is beautiful. People, especially, are beautiful, physically, emotionally... everything.

The Fisher King (An Arthurian Legend)

Tophat — Sun, 04 Apr 2010 07:25:11 +0400

A boy king is alone in the woods, for he must search for a sign from God in order to be king.
One day, he suddenly sees a flame, and he hears a voice from heaven.
It tells him that he will be king, and that he will use the Holy Grail to heal man's wounds.
But he is distracted by visions of glory.
In the flame he sees the Grail itself, and in his rash pride he reaches in to grab it.
But when he reaches in, the Grail disappears, leaving him to be horribly wounded by the flame.
Years pass, and the boy becomes King.

By request- My Mistakes, and advice

Tophat — Sat, 03 Apr 2010 08:54:01 +0400

I've been asked to share my experiences, and a way to cope with these things.

Just to recap, I was raped a year ago. The man who did this was my boyfriend. This is a long story, and parts of it are blurred by my memory.

How we met? I honestly don't remember. I don't know why, but it's not there. I do know this: he was the kindest man I'd ever known, and I thought he was perfect.

Stark Raving Sane (We Were Born To Create Until We Die). - Let's Start Again -

Tophat — Fri, 02 Apr 2010 09:54:58 +0400

I'm going to start out with an introduction.

Not Dead- In fact, quite well

Tophat — Wed, 31 Mar 2010 07:27:31 +0400

I'm back, for an unsure amount of time. Lady luck will determine that.

I thought I'd let you know. Just ask me anything if you really want to know, I'm too busy to write a long journal. :)

<3<3<3

Drugs- The Most Stupid Thing You Can Rely On (An essay on the dangers of self-pity)

Tophat — Mon, 15 Mar 2010 08:30:40 +0300

I have far too many friends who take away their troubles with drugs.

Morphine, Weed, Cocaine, Melange; it's all the same at the base. An escape.

Well guess what, my pretties. You can't escape. There's going to be a point where the real world crashes around you- whether you get crushed or not depends on your alternate reality.

Let's be brutal: the most pathetic thing you can do to escape is takes drugs. Escape in itself is cowardly! We, as humans, must find a point where we FACE the pain as opposed to flee from it.

Happiness with your grasp- An ironic message to return to.

Tophat — Sun, 14 Mar 2010 06:43:53 +0300

I was happy.

I was really and truly happy, nothing was wrong. It all went well- by that I mean, it all went the way I wanted it to.

I feel bad, coming back here with nothing more than the usual drama and misery. But if it helps, I'm not miserable. I'm numb.

A Little Break

Tophat — Thu, 11 Mar 2010 14:34:35 +0300

For those of you who actually read my journals, I'm probably going to take a break from Oasis. Dunno how long, don't really care. Maybe a day, maybe a week. If it suits me, maybe a year.

Just letting you know that I'm not leaving due to depression. Just boredom. I have little to do here, and I've lost my will to read most of the journals let alone write them.

Love you guys. As Vera once said, we'll meet again, don't know where, don't know when.... etc.

The Magic Theatre- Not For Everyone! For Madmen Only!

Tophat — Wed, 10 Mar 2010 07:01:18 +0300

I swear, I realte amazingly well to Steppenwolf. It's a really weird feeling, reading about a character and realizing it's you.

Anyways.

I'm doing pretty well. Standardised tests are what's wrong with the education system, I swear.

I have nothing notable to report today.

"I thought what I'd do was, I'd pretend I was one of those deaf-mutes."
-Holden Caulfield

feeling lovely today, just lonely. It's almost the same, actually. Just switch a letter.

I think I'm going to use this as a journal for a while- just this post. See what happens, see if I remember.