Okay...I'm in the process of coming out at school. I tried to get the ball rolling today. I'm still having a bit of trouble, but a girl who's, politely put, a blabber mouth...well, I told her I'm having trouble spreading the word, so I'm hoping she'll help with that.
And, that same girl (who, happens to be bi by the way), said that she'll start calling me Eli at school. I'm a little nervous, because last time someone tried that, he would stress the "Eli" part of it when saying something to me. I hope she says it normally because it's just my name.
How do I know when I'm ready to change what I am called at school from "Sofia" to "Eli" by my friends?
Or is this too big a change?
I'm trying so hard right now to keep a straight face and stop from grinning. My best friend and I are having a endless email conversation and I keep slipping in lines like "so you and i can be together" and "hugs youre the best, too." and all this other stuff. am I getting a crush??????????????
I think I have trust issues with men...a lot of crap's been going through my mind lately.
How do I combat this?
What is going on with me?
I'm going on a spilling-my-guts phase and I can't stop. Right now I'm writitng an email to my favorite person in the world and I can't stop writing what I'm thinking.
Uh....feeling like shit right now.
Don't know if I should go out and buy drugs to make it better or just go through it. I hear some foods will help?
When they yell at me, I usually just bite my tongue. And don't say anything. It feels horrible, like I did when I used to get punched or hit and just cowered in the corner.
Just spilled my guts like COMPLETELY to a teacher of mine over email.
Was that a stupid thing to do?
Met a beautiful girl today. and she's from Greece...which means she has an awesome accent. She and i have a mutual friend . I talked to her and my friend a little at school today but didnt get to introduce myself. She kept lookin over at me and smiling. I dont know if it was because she was meeting someone new or if she likes me.
Maybe the second assumption above is too ambitious?!?
Anyway....is there a way for me to tel if she's straight? Do I have my friends do invesitigative work?
...bad idea to try and start stuff with a friend? And how do I do that?
She's lesbian also but I don't think she's into me like that. How do I get her to be?
Just a anecdote...that icon....is one of my ideal places for a night out with my favorite gal...that is ...if I can find one. I want to so bad! I'm 18 and have only asked a girl out and that's it. Grrr...
Am I doing something wrong?
I don't know how much longer to stay on this site.
I want to because it's helped me through some tough times, but, after going through some tough times today...well, I'm not so sure. Sometimes I feel like it's hard because how can strangers actually support me? And then I debate with myself whether this is actually support.
I feel badly for asking so many questions.
Don't know if I should stay on Oasis or not,
So, finally I have the answers, I believe. They seem to be right in front of me, only everytime I think about it, it doesn't make sense.
I keep thinking about the surgery. About wanting it. But when I try to reason myself through it , think thru it, it makes no sense and my thoughts get messy.
Anyway...I need support from you guys here. i need to know things'll be okay.
So today was good...long, but good. A lot of ...well, interesting things happened.
And in a few of my classes I was so close to falling asleep that my head would kind of start to fall backward and then I would jerk it forward to keep awake. I don't get a lot of sleep.
Anyway...is anyone here especially good at researching? I'm really bad and need help?
I feel like aasking some questions, though don't know how to say what I'm thinking...
I did it.
I told the teacher at school today.