So last night I volunteered at this Marine Corps fish fry. I had to do the drinks. I basically just had to make sure there was enough of all the different drinks. It was easy but pretty boring. The place was packed full of old people. So I was just standing there and this old man in a trucker hat and decomposing teeth came up to me and said you need to smile, a pretty girl like you should never not be smiling. I forced myself to laugh and smile. And he chose to sit at the table right in front of where I was and he stared at me the entire time. He would also randomly come up to me and stand in front of me with a smile. And he would go up to other people and point to me and tell them to make sure that I had a smile on my face.
Well it didn't stop there with just one creepy old man. Another one came up to the drink table and was like "Wow, how many boyfriends do you have?" I wanted to be like so many its made me go gay. Instead I just handed him a drink and smiled.
I really really hope that I am not creepy when I get older. I know they were just being friendly but its still weird. I don't want to get old!

Me so far...
About 2 months ago I came out to my sister T. I wasn't planning on telling anyone for awhile but it just kind of happened. Heres how it went: T calls me while I'm at home watching t.v. and she tells me to come outside right now and we're going for a drive. So i get in her car and she's like look in my purse. So I do and theres 4 pregnancy tests and their all positive. I'm like wtf?! So we drive around and talk about it and I say do you want me to tell you something that will make you feel less alone? She's says yeah and I say I'm gay. She says I know. And I'm like really?! She went on to tell me how she thought that I was a lesbian for a longtime. I was surprised because I thought I hid it pretty well.
I didn't expect my first coming out to be like that at all. It was weird because I though no one could tell. The fact that someone can is relieving and scary at the same time. I told myself I would wait to come out until I met someone, but that hasn't happened. Before now the only 'gayness' i had in my life was the Tila Tequilla show, occasionally movies on t.v. I would look up more stuff online but I have dial up internet so it takes forever and I can't download anything.
Since telling T she's held it over my head as blackmail. I cant make her mad or else she threatens to tell our parents. I'm not ready for that and I would for sure get kicked out. I've told a friend to. I haven't brought it up since I've told her though, but she seemed cool. I also told my other sister K. K was really cool with it, she said that she had no idea but she was proud of me for telling her.
It's getting hard already to watch what I say around who. I hate the whole feeling like I'm living a double life. Because I guess in a way I am.