The Fear of Attraction

Shura — Sat, 27 Dec 2008 07:17:26 -0500

I am uncomfortable with how much Tig turns me on. He has his moments, and in those I am very attracted to him. It makes me fear losing control. I know he would enjoy dominating me, too, but he enjoys being submissive more, as far as he's said. I really want to be in a mental space to top him. But he's so very attractive to me...

Walk Away?

Shura — Sat, 27 Dec 2008 07:14:34 -0500

If Tig and I decide to play next time I see him, him and Alex are going to have to sit down and have a conversation about what Alex does and does not want to know. They're bros, so Alex is very uncomfortable with the thought of Tig and I, but I am my own person and he certainly can't restrict me.

Post-XMas Entry

Shura — Fri, 26 Dec 2008 03:28:12 -0500

Christmas Dinner (or Queermas Dinner, as the host, Cyron, likes to call it), was great. It was warm and friendly; full of family and food; relaxed, chill, and lovely. Come nighttime, I snuggled and talked on the couch with Tig. Apparently I left some bite marks and bruises. Wicked!

Pre-Xmas Dinner Entry

Shura — Fri, 26 Dec 2008 03:24:36 -0500

Merry Coming Christmas!

Hi!

Shura — Wed, 24 Dec 2008 00:55:13 -0500

Hey all!

I love this place, and do still read a few journals (Riku's most religiously, hehe).

Eclipse... Breaking Dawn?

Shura — Mon, 28 Jul 2008 15:08:55 -0400

Eclipse is done too, now... well, was done a couple days ago, but we all know what happened then ;)

New Moon/Update

Shura — Fri, 25 Jul 2008 08:11:56 -0400

Just finished New Moon. Since it is her book, I also miss my sister. Since Edward and Bella interact so familiar, in some ways, I want my ex. I always wonder, with past relationships, which parts were reality and which were projections of an idea(l).

In other news, sexual adventures w/ others are good also because they give you new ideas of what to do with yourself.

The end :)

Twilight, sex... hi!?

Shura — Mon, 21 Jul 2008 03:08:07 -0400

I surrendered to my sister's tastes and read Twilight by Stephenie Meyer... I thoroughly enjoyed the first third of the book, and after that I could feel her stretching out the story... of course, that part you read anyways - obsessively, but with little admiration. The last third was at least decent.

hm

Shura — Sun, 13 Jul 2008 04:44:53 -0400

I want to cry. I wish I could cry and get it all out; but everything is so simple and inexplicable. There aren't a million clear thoughts running through my head; it's all just about waiting and seeing what happens. It's like a state of being frozen in time while real life whisks by you. It's addictive, and I need to unfreeze. Unfreeze it; move; be excited by something.

yay emotions :S

Shura — Mon, 16 Jun 2008 02:05:10 -0400

Wow, I just read "Advice from Toblerone" in the Coming out section, and it made me cry; the part about his parents saying that it's not something that can be changed, and they'll all just have to live with it, that they're sorry they couldn't help the confusion more when he was younger, that they love him just as much if not more...

Kittens

Shura — Fri, 13 Jun 2008 03:46:57 -0400

Ya I'm still an angel. And I don't feel pain. Or something.

I often see how things are going to work out with people, how situations are going to play out, no matter what the "plan" is. I would think most people can, to one extent or another. And I know. But I stick around anyways, because ya never know - people could surprise you.

drag shows and thunder

Shura — Fri, 06 Jun 2008 19:43:52 -0400

I dared to want, desire, feel, be happy. In these last two weeks, I've been somehow content, whether in solitude or with company.

Hah

Shura — Mon, 02 Jun 2008 01:33:04 -0400

Alright, rant time.

By the way... thank you guys so much for the comments! Makes it all so much better :)

By the way #2 - I'm listening to depressing Russian music, so thoughts might be a bit jumbled.

Er... post 1.

Shura — Thu, 29 May 2008 03:27:10 -0400

Well... looks like I'm finally posting on here, after reading a few journal entries and becoming more comfortable w/ putting my own stuff out there. I've got to admit, I've been reading Riku's journal for months now, and finally signed up as a member a couple weeks ago.

I should be sleeping.