vacation

Splash — Tue, 10 Mar 2009 04:20:50 +0300

If anyone is interested, I've decided I need to take a break from Oasis.

My life is stressful right now. I have a vast number of big midterm projects due this week, a good friend recently shut me out of her life (though I mostly blame myself), and I've been fighting through alternating spells of feeling rotten and depressed and being OK. I don't tend to post journals about this stuff very often — maybe I'm just not good at posting the inner workings of my mind on a public internet forum — but that's what's been going on.

just wanted to say...

Splash — Mon, 02 Feb 2009 14:32:43 +0300

I set my alarm for right around now because I need to study for a test I forgot about. That was truly the only reason. I'm still stressed about that, really; and it's been a very rough week for me.

Have been just as freaked and worried as everyone else over the last day's events on Oasis.

Yet, I awoke with the sudden conviction that everything is going to be all right. I don't know why; I just can't shake the feeling right now.

Thought I'd post while the feeling lasts.

Am very glad to see that WantsOut has posted today.

Note to self: must develop gaydar.

Splash — Tue, 09 Dec 2008 00:29:44 +0300

So, to cut to the relevant part of the conversation, it turns out B has a boyfriend.

Damn.

Proceeding with caution was a good idea... just as happy to have found out she wasn't a gf prospect BEFORE I said anything to her about crushing on her.

happy sigh

Splash — Sun, 07 Dec 2008 09:54:26 +0300

I went to a concert, knowing B was working backstage, and she was happy to see me and gave me a ride home afterward. Just us. I think we talked about how much we both love Christmas. She gave me another hug right before I got out of the car.

I'm probably still dreamy-eyed cuz I feel all swirly-whirly and happy inside. I'd forgotten crushes could feel so nice.

:-)

Carnations

Splash — Fri, 05 Dec 2008 03:58:48 +0300

My high school used to have a fundraiser every year: this one club would sell carnations, to be sent to a fellow student of the buyer's choice, and the money would go to a hospital. The carnations were always delivered on Valentine's day. Some people sent them to friends, some to boyfriends/girlfriends. Some of the more popular kids would actually get multiple flowers.

egad... another crush...

Splash — Thu, 20 Nov 2008 06:17:58 +0300

...let's call her B. She's in my tech theater class and sits next to me a lot. Whenever we get out of class early I find her out in the theater lobby playing the piano. Once I put my hand on her shoulder and told her she was hopelessly predictable :-) and when she reached up and touched my hand it was like... all this warmth and energy passing between us. It was awesome.

Is It Really That Big A Deal?

Splash — Fri, 07 Nov 2008 22:01:05 +0300

Warning: this may sound silly.

So I posted an article about Prop 8 and a couple of those laws that passed in other states (like the adoption one in Arkansas) on my Facebook. A friend of mine (incidentally, the only person in my dorm I'm out to... but that's cuz she flat-out asked) commented on it, "I am sorry sweetie. But I am against Gay Marriage."

the lost forums

Splash — Mon, 03 Nov 2008 08:12:04 +0300

You know when you create a forum, there's a list of forum categories you can choose from? The default seems to be "none." But what happens to forums created with no category? I know they show up in the recent forums list, and probably in searches, but there doesn't seem to be a page that lists them.

crazy question! :-)

Splash — Wed, 15 Oct 2008 05:19:02 +0400

I have no idea why this popped into my head to ask, but does anybody on this site happen to be straight? Just curious.

:-)

:-) :-(

Splash — Tue, 07 Oct 2008 05:42:15 +0400

Good news #1: my college GSA organized a screening of "The Laramie Project" tonight. I've been wanting to see that, so you better believe I'm going. :-)

Disappointing news #1: while me and another girl tried to explain to my friend SB what said film is about, the other girl admitted to being "slightly homophobic." So is a guy who lives down the hall from me. But they're nice people... :-(

where did it go?

Splash — Tue, 09 Sep 2008 07:18:50 +0400

www.outproud.org <---- One of the first websites I visited when I started to think I wasn't straight. There's some good information there, especially on the brochures page. (I think there's a link to Oasis on there too.)

However, in the last few weeks I've been getting "server not found" errors from my web browser whenever I try to load a page from the Outproud site.

I just wondered if anyone else is having this problem and/or knows what's up: did the site go offline, or is my computer just being freaky?

guess who

Splash — Mon, 11 Aug 2008 04:10:59 +0400

We played this game a couple times in my summer acting program where we write down things most people won't know about us, then throw all the paper slips in a pile, draw them one at a time, and try to guess which is whose. I suppose it has been on my mind a little bit because I've been tempted to write down "I'm gay" both times.

sigh and move on...

Splash — Wed, 30 Jul 2008 11:08:40 +0400

To give the shortest explanation, I finally asked and learned that S does not return my crush. Somehow I was expecting that...

:-(

Our friendship appears to be relatively unscathed (if I may venture such an appraisal three days later), which I am glad about. I'm trying to hide disappointment now though, and frustration because I'm still attracted to her but have to stop hoping.

spur-of-the-moment thought on my state's laws...

Splash — Mon, 07 Jul 2008 06:34:45 +0400

My state is one of those that has passed, of all things, a CONSTITUTIONAL AMENDMENT banning gay marriage. This happened a couple years ago, when I: a) was too young to vote, and b) did not know I was gay. Though I do remember wishing I could go to a rally in opposition to said amendment. (I was afraid to ask my mom about it. No idea what she thinks of LGBTQ people...)

summer!

Splash — Sun, 22 Jun 2008 12:35:24 +0400

Spending the entire summer at the theater is my idea of heaven. Even if heaven does involve an awful lot of push-ups. Yes people, acting is not all glamor, we the students do have to work out every morning. Not sure what the full company members do. :-)