yeah so im def fancying this girl on our softball team. she plays shortstop and there is just something about her liitle frame that is cute. but she kinda looks like gumby. its small but i def see the rememblance. me and my friend are trying to stalk her but who the fuck dont have a facebook?
Spring break was relaxing, which is a good way of saying that was 'boring. I babysat and got my haircut. Stories to fill a lifetime, I'm sure. I left my novel for class and my computer charger at home so, I had to journey on down to the westbank with two of my best friends to meet my mom.
THE liars. So well-equipped with the mechanism for deciet humans are. Some actually enjoy the thrill that comes with knowing that you have intentionally built a world of fallacy. Then there are those who still have that conscience that society has impregnanted in our heads. No stop that, its wrong. Wrong. What a very abstract idea. Oh yes, it is an idea.
Interesting couple of days. I got sunburned while cutting grass the other day and i feel that my thighs are on fire... and not in a good way. My sister had surgery last week and my other one is on crutches due t torn ligaments during a softball game. But all of those things are of no consequence. i told my mom last night that i would date a girl and that im attracted to them as well.
This is the last day of classes before spring break and i am really relieved that this semester is half way over. i love college, def the freedom. but so much has happen my freshman yr it warrants some kind of documentation. i cannot even say half the shit that has happened...
i think that i am afraid of penis, which is why i would rahter be with a girl than a guy. for the first time in my whole life i watched porn with my friend a week or two ago and that just solidified my feelings for gilrs bc now im just afraid of penis. it just looks so weird and there is no way that i could ever stick it in my mouth. yuck.
I dont think i like people much. i have a few really close friends but outside them, ive decided that people are just too human to be around me. like my really good friend we just get tired of the drama, theatrics and constant battle between opinions.
i cannot stop dreaming of my grandpa. its as if he is haunting me. i dont know, even since he died nothing has been alright. my family i full of shit, pretending that "hes in a better place, no more suffering" and all that. in the mean time my grandma is falling apart slowly with a brusied family trying to fix her. "how can one drowing man help another drowing man"?
I could not sleep last night so i put a movie on, speicifically For Me and My Gal, and i swear the moment Judy began to sing, the tv turned the correct color. It was as if her voice demanded that my green tv show her in all her black and white glory. now its eight in the moring and i have class in thirty minutes and i what ireally want to do is crawl back into my bed.
i love this university. it a really wondrful place, but it should invest more in its residential halls (DORMS)...
There is a slow movement of change about me. These things always come subtley for me, nothing ever comes as quickly as i woud like. slow movements mean slow heartaches and deep, perplexing moments in which i can no longer remmeber who or where i am.
My tv is green and i need to study.my tv hasnt been the proper color ever since i can remember. its cheap, what can i expect?
as i speak in this moment i want to scream but im pretty sure the bitch the lives right next to me on the other side of this cement wall would get tmad and bang on it like she has done so many other times in the past. gabby i here and i really dont like her. i invited her to a movie tonight wil my firned to be nice bc well i am going to live w her next semster and i need to keep things civil.
For all intensive purposes this, whatever it may be, is riding on merely the fumes of an extinguished anger. It doesn’t really show the WHOLE TRUTH, but most of it…
I don’t understand why you do it.
Why do you continue to fight against something that
Has no qualms about taking your broken body only to squeeze
What little life you have left in your veins.
So, after a long heated debate over the state of a girl's mental health, and after my roomate and brandon left to go to walmart, keith and i got on the subject of the feelings i used to feel for this girl. she is beautiful, thats all there is to it.