So, I haven't posted in ages, but way way way more has happened then I currently have time to write about, because of this I'm going to give an abridged version. So, two and half weeks ago I graduated eighth grade from the school that I was at for NINE YEARS. Anyway, evil bitch #1 did graduate with us, although she hadn't been to school in while and we had thought she dropped out.

I went to a quaker school, and as such we have an unusual graduation. There were twenty-two kids in my grade and what happens is that the graduation is kind of like a giant meeting for worship. All of the kids who are graduation sit in a line of chairs facing everyone else and it lasts for about an hour. The thing is though, it's not like we're all sitting there in silence for an hour, there's a mic set up in front of the graduating people, so they can get up and talk if they want, and for everyone else, there are people all around the room who have mics, and if you stand up they will bring one to you. The only real rule is that each person can only get up and speak once.

It's really beautiful, and people say lots of wonderful things, and share funny memories about the class and stuff like that. Most of the kids get up and speak at one point or another. Towards the end, evil bitch #1 gets up and pulls a piece of paper out of her boot (we were all dressed up real-fancylike, corsages, the like) and she was trying to be all cool with knee high boots. So, she pulls out this piece of paper and proceeds to make read the most incredibly rude speech I have ever heard. The last few months have been really hard, but nobody said anything mean in their speeches, but then she gets up and has this whole speech about she was victimized and whatever fucking BULLSHIT. It still makes me so angry just thinking about it. Evil bitch #1 is really manipulative and almost all the adults at school have this idea that she's this vulnerable victim. Anyway, enough about her. She's a total bitch, end of story.

The real purpose of this post, other than to rant has to do with the title. Tomorrow, at nine o'clock am, I leave to go to camp for a month!!! Camp is basically the best part of my year, and I have been counting the hours for the last few days!!! I can't wait! Anyway, I hope everyone has a great summer, and I'll be back in a month!

If I knew how to be you
I wouldn't need to be me

If you knew how I wish I was you
You wouldn't need to be you

If you would tell me what chases away your beautiful smile
I wouldn't need to wonder

If I could tell you what is wrong here
You wouldn't need to wonder

If you would tell me that you loved me
and I could tell you that I think about you
and everyone else didn't care
We wouldn't need to be scared of the consequences

If I knew how to be me
I wouldn't need to wish I was you

If you knew how to be you
You wouldn't need to look sad

...baby you're never far enough away.

This line from the Girlyman song "Postcards from Mexico" sums up a lot of what has been happening in my life and what I've been feeling lately.
There hasn't been anything specifically about Mexico, but feeling of the line is clear enough: I miss you, but when your around, life is hell.

Now, my feeling about this is more figurative than literal, because my situation is about a good friend, who I still go to school, and who I see everyday, but has become something of a pariah in my class, and who makes a lot of trouble. Despite the trouble she has cause for me and many of my friends, however, she was one of the only people I could actually talk to about what is going on with me, and who in turn could talk to me about what is going on with her, hence the line from the song. I miss her and as I miss her, she continues to make things difficult.

However, there is another, much happier reason that this song describes my life. I saw Girlyman. In concert. Twice. In one week! It was AWESOME! I have a MASSIVE crush on both Ty and Doris! They are just sooooooo cute! And funny, and their music is so good, and the band t-shirts are so comfortable... basically I love everything about them. At the first show, I bought their new live CD, which has so many great things on it, especially the new songs storms were mine, somewhere different now (the title track!), and everything's easy!

Other news: I graduate from the school that I have been at for NINE FUCKING YEARS on June fourth... way to long. I have to say, that I love it for many years, but now many of my closest friends there have left, they have a new administration that I don't like, and it's just feeling to small. This fall I will be entering the public high school, where I have a lot of friends and know a lot of people, and I'm really excited to go somewhere where I can just do my work and hang out with my friends. I won't need to be involved with school politics and I won't know everyone in the building, so I can retain a certain level of anonymity. Hopefully, it'll be great!

Also, I've started seeing a therapist. I don't want everyone to think I'm one of those spoiled kids who has a therapist because they think it's cool, or that they have HUGE problems when they don't. I have a hard time showing my real emotions, and I've trained all the people around me to see me as I want them to, and I have a hard time talking to people who are involved in my life, so she's really just someone who can listen with an unbiased ear.

I've been putting off writing a journal entry for a few weeks, because I never know what to put in it, but today I decided it was time, and when I sat down to write it, I was surprised how much just kinda came out, I never really understood before how people can write super long entries, but it makes sense now.

It may not entirely sound like it, but things have been pretty hard lately, and I've been feeling bummed out a lot, and pretty sad, so I just need to vent for a little bit... there is no need to read any further...

So, one of my good friends... we'll call him J, has been accused by my ex-friend, the one who I talked about at the beginning, we'll call her evil bitch #1 (nothing nicer seems to fit) of sexual harassment. Not last week or month. Nope, in sixth grade! First of all, my friend J is a super nice guy who treats girls really well, and second, evil bitch #1 didn't get that name for nothing. She lies to hurt people because she has a LOT of problems and it makes her feel better about herself. Anyway, this comes back to why I hate the school administration. They have handled the whole incident so poorly, and it has become a serious problem of racism. Evil bitch #1 is white. J is half Indian, half latino, you get the point.

The one funny part of that incident is that evil bitch#1 claims that she and J were going out when the incident of sexual harassment occurred. It's funny because, as EVERYONE in my grade knows, J would NEVER go out with her, never has and never, especially after this, will.

Also, my friend S, who I sorta kinda have a huge crush on and have been friends with for 9 years, at least used like evil bitch#1, which I didn't mind, cause I didn't like him then, and I was friends with her. But I'm not really sure how S feels about her now, and that sucks, cause he doesn't realize what a bitch she is, since she is always so nice seeming around him. Yaarg! I feel like such a typical middle schooler... heheh, that mildly entertains me.

My cousins were here yesterday, and me and one of them took a ten mile bike ride, and then I went right off to karate. Bad idea. I can barely walk today, my legs hurt SO bad.

Anyway, it's back to school next week, but now I'm off to Vermont!

Ok, so a couple of month's ago I posted that my class was making a short film about a lesbian highschooler who gets killed as a result of a hate crime and submitting it to a film festival. Well... two weeks ago we finished and sent it off to Brooklyn friends school... and today we learned that we were one of the finalists (It's a quaker school, there is no ONE winner). It's still really cool because there are a lot of people who enter and only a few are selected, so I'm REALLY excited.

In other news, my cat, whom I love with all of my heart has food allergies and a skin infection :(.

I would also like to say to Alyssa in love that I am really happy that she accidentally turned off her private message thing... by that I mean that I am happy I didn't say something stupid that offended her and made her stop talking to me.

Lastly, if you are looking for good gay teen fiction, PLEASEPLEASEPLEASE don't read "The Straight Road to Kylie" it was so bad I almost puked.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH. I'm going crazy. I think I'm about to start crying and I don't know why and there's no one around to talk to.

One of the things I love about oasis is that you can say whatever you need to. Yes it is a community for queer and questioning youth, but just because that's what it's for doesn't mean that that's all it has to be or all that can be discussed.
Being able to come here and just rant about whatever inane things are bothering is freeing
Being able to come here and joke around with people or share stories or debate is amazing.
Even though I've only been a member here for a short amount of time in comparison to some people, it's hard for me to remember a time when I didn't come home every afternoon and check to see if someone had commented on my latest entry, rant about what frustrated me about my day, or see if anyone had posted anything entertaining.
Anyway, as to why I wrote this, I want to talk about plaster, which is a substance I am currently covered in. Somewhere out there is a plaster mask in the shape of my face, the residue of which is currently stuck to my eyelids. However, since this entry is called what I love, I'm going to make a list of things I love. This may sound shallow, but I am going to skip over my family. The fact that I love them has already been established, this list is purely non-family. (By the way, this in not necessarily in order of how much I love these things)
1. The Library. It's cheesy but my local library is amazing and I love to read.
2. Thai food. BTW I worship at the shrine of Phad Thai.
3. Korean Food.
4. I am just going to come out and say this ( no pun intended) Asian food in general.
5. Girlyman. Yay for Doris!
6. Camp. I haven't talked about it much yet, but my camp means the world to me. It's my favorite place in the world.
7. Once. I swear to god if I ever meet Marketa Irglova I will fucking bow at her feet.
8. Gay english teachers with baby twin boys, aka my sixth grade english teacher who just had babies with his partner (long story).
9. Chocolate. What can I say it was love at first taste.
10. Okay… we’re just gonna say food in general and get that out of the way.
11. My headphones. Good sound makes ALL the difference.
12. My iPod. I love the little bugger.
13. CDs. I still have to say that I like buying CDs much better than using iTunes, I really don’t know why.
14. People. Specifically, I like nice people. Most of the time, I’m a people person!
15. Music. I just like music. Yes I have specific favorites and there are bands and singers and orchestra’s that I don’t like, but in general, music is the shit.
16. Laudate Dominum. Motzart was the fucking MAN.
17. Bubble tea. I know I said no more food, but I don’t know if anyone has had thai milk tea with coconut jelly. It is possibly the only thing I can think of that makes me think there is a god
18. S. One of my best friends, also one of the few reasons I am not entirely Lesbian.
19. Karate. It’s fun, it feels good, and it makes me feel like a TOTAL badass
20. Zoom. No, it’s not that PBS tv show from forever. No, it’s not a mazda. It’s what I call my cat. She is in fact named Chelsea, but Zoom, which is short for Zoomzoom suits her much better.
21. Piñatas. They are the shit. You hit them and then there’s candy. I only say this cause I have one on my desk… hehe
22…There are lot’s of things I love, I honestly can’t think of anymore.

To tell the truth, I wrote this list because I feel really mopey and disconnected a lot, but I don’t know why, so I wrote this list to remind myself that there are TONS of fucking amazing things in my life!

Ok, so I actually wrote this a few hours ago, but my internet stopped working while I was writing...:(

Iced Chocolate lattes from Dunkin Donuts are amazing. Seriously. They are so good that I drank two of them this morning.

Anyway, now that everyone is aware of my new love, on to real stuff.
First order of business is superduper long posts with no paragraph breaks. Please People! It is very hard to read extremely long posts, even with paragraph breaks. So PLEASE either post in several segments or PUT IN PARAGRAPH BREAKS. Two good examples of this a Ruby's journal and Disney's journal (These guys also happen to be two of my favorite posters <3)

Anyway, done ranting now. Second on the agenda is welcoming new Oasians, of which I have noticed several of lately! Oasis is amazing, so welcome!

Third thing is an exciting piece of news, at least for me. As some of you know, I take karate, and it is something I am very passionate about, and last wednesday I tested for my greenbelt, and I passed! This puts me at hopefully about two years away from my blackbelt!!!

Thats all for now folks!

*Me*

Ok, so I know that a few entries ago, I swore that I would not be mopey anymore, but only the first little bit of this post will be mopey, I swear! Ok, mopey part: So my best friend, who I'm not really sure why I'm even friends with because we have NOTHING in common, is being a TOTAL bitch! Seriously, I just want to smack her! Ok, mopey part over now! In other news, I am testing for my greenbelt next wednesday, which I am SUPER excited for! Also, we shot a scene in our movie today where I got to be an EMT and cover myself in fake blood, which was pretty exciting. Other than that, the only knew thing is that we started a unit on homophobia and heterosexism in English yesterday, and we are reading "Mama's Boy, Preacher's Son" by Kevin Jennings (for anyone who doesn't know, Kevin Jennings is the founder of GLSEN) so that going to be interesting, and that's about all that's going on at the moment!

Ok, so I had a freaking AMAZING day
So I woke up kind of early (like, 6:50 which is early for vacation) which is odd because I was watching scrubs and knitting till way past midnight last night... so anyway, I then watched buffy the vampire slayer (which by the way I know LOVE) and finished the scarf that I'd been knitting, which was a gorgeous soft blue yarn and was a belated v-day gift for my best friend. After that I hung out with my little sis and her friends for a while.
Then I met up with my best friend and we went to the library and then we took the bus to my favorite restaurant and ate korean food which is fucking AMAZING. After that we just hung out for a while and ate crappy easter candy.
Anyway, at around 3:30 I went home, cleaned out my dresser (relaxing, and now there's room for new clothes!) and watched more buffy. After that... I met up with my best friend and we went to karate where we learned that our archenemy (childish I know, but he's a serious douche) might not be able to take his greenbelt test which would make us a belt ahead of him. And, as if this day couldn't be any better, when I got home from class my dad had ordered thai food for dinner which I love ALMOST as much as the Korean food!
Now I'm just hanging out and knitting a tank top, which in mind is a great end to a great day!

I haven't posted on here in a few weeks, but that's not to say I haven't thought about it. It's just that I was reading back on my old journal entries (not that their are that many of them...) and I realized that almost all of them have been mopey and whiney sounding and I need to get one thing clear: I am not a mopey person! In fact I am a generally cheerful individual and can usually be counted on to keep the mood light and happy (unless it is one of those times when it is necessary to be serious).
So anyway, from now on I'm going to try and keep my posts more like me, except when I have something really serious I need to say.
Ok, now on to what I've been up to. I'm currently in the middle of my february break, which is very nice. I got to go snowboarding in Vermont on Sunday, which I have to say pretty much rocked my world! I mean, I still ache all over, but if you constantly crave speed (not like that!) like me, then snowboarding is a serious, serious rush! I only went on a bunny slope, cause I was just learning, and my uncle who was teaching me and who knows me, and therefore is aware of my love for speed, would not let me anywhere near anything bigger!
I also have to thank everyone who replied to my hidden holocaust post, so many of your comments helped me a ton, especially Disney (not to single anyone out, but he posted a very long and wonderful reply!) I am thinking about posting my paper here when it's done so that everyone can read it!
Besides the paper and snowboarding, nothing has been happening except that I now listen to almost nothing but Belle & Sebastian, they are amazing!

Ciao

Birthday:: December 23, Unknown year
Birthplace:: Boston, MA
Eye Color:: blue
Hair Color:: Brown
Height:: 5'0"
Right handed or Left handed?: southpaw!
Your Heritage:: eastern european mutt
My Worst Habit:: ...candy
Zodiac Sign:: Capricorn
Shoe Size:: 5
Pants Size:: 0
Innie or Outie?: Innie
Parents Still Together?: uhuh
The Shoes You Wore Today:: uggs, I know, guilty of a horrible crime, but damn are those things comfy!
Your Weakness: fluffy things, delicious things
Your Fears: Dying before I've done everything I want to do
Your Perfect Pizza: cheese
Goal You Would Like To Achieve This Year: break 5'2"
Your Most Overused Phrase On An Instant Messenger: sup?
Thoughts First Waking Up: It's definitely still the middle of the night
Your Best Physical Feature: eyes, boobs
Your Bedtime: Whenever I finish doing the dishes
Your Most Missed Memory: Preschool, I was queen of the jungle gym!
MY FAVORITES

Favorite colour?: blue
Food?: any kind of asian food, and berries!
Sport?: Karate! ...or field hockey
Animal?: cats
Ice Cream?: black raspberry
Candy?: Lindt chocolate, maple sugar candy
Store?: gap, ll. bean, little random stores
Salad Dressing?: sesame and shiitake vinagrette
Actor?: Zack Braff
Song?: Belle & Sebstian, I'm a cuckoo
Letter?: s
Number?: any multiple of 5, mostly 25
Gum?: cinnamon
Holiday?: My birthday
Season?: spring
Toothpaste Flavor?: cinnamon
Radio Station?: 92.9, the river
Perfume?: Anything with a not overly sweet cherry blossom scent
Scent besides perfume?: Rain, my unnamed friend of who I like, asian food
Body part on the opposite sex?: shoulders, eyes

FRIENDS AND LIFE

What Do You Want To Be When You Grow Up?: A book editor
How Do You Want To Die?: happy
Turn ons:: Prettyness, nice eyes, adorable smiles, funnyness
Turn offs:: HUGE muscles, arrogance, drunkenness, non flattering clothing
Which One Of Your Friends Acts The Most Like You?: My friend S
Who's The Loudest?: Me or my friend E
Who Makes You Laugh The Most?: My friends A, J, D... yea
Who Have You Known The Longest?: My friend I, I've known her since I was three
Who's The Shyest?: Sh
When Have You Cried The Most?: When my friends dad died
What Is The Best Feeling In The World?: A good bath when you're really dirty
Worst Feeling?: vomiting, being left out/behind,
Where Do You Want To Live When You Grow Up?: Vermont
If You Could Change One Thing About You What Would It Be?: I'd lose weight, haha
How Long Do You Think You'll Live?: Forever
FINISH EACH SENTENCE

Let's walk on the: shady side
Let's look at the: windows
What a nice: thing to say
Where did all the: flowers go?
Why can't we: just be friends
Silly, little: rabbit, trix are for kids!
Isn't it weird that: your mouth is moving, yet I only hear a faint buzzing noise?
Never under any circumstance: will I do this again
I wish: I could fly
Everyone has a: ...
I am: sleepy

HAVE YOU EVER

Been In Love?: Yes
Been To Juvie?: No
Mooned Someone?: Does my sister count?
Been Rejected?: Not really... only because it's never been risked
Ran Away From Home?: no
Pictured Your Crush Naked?: ...*blush*
Skipped School?: Yes.
Thought About Suicide?: er...
Slept Outside?: Hells yea!
Laughed So Hard You Cried?: Only like, all the time...
Cried In School?: Far to often
Thrown Up In School?: Not yet *crosses fingers*
Wanted To Be a Model?: *vomits in corner*
Cheated On Someone?: no...
Done Something Really Stupid That You Still Laugh At Today?: *chuckles*
Seen A Dead Body?: nope
Been Bitched Out?: yea, and bitched right back!
Drank Alcohol?: Yes.
Smoked?: no
Been On Drugs?: er, no
Eaten Sushi?: yep!
Been On Stage?: yeah
Gone Skinny Dipping?: Yes, amazingness
Shoplifted?: no
Been Drunk?: buzzed
Been Called A Tease?: eheheh
Been Beaten Up?: Not outside of karate class

DO YOU

Swear?: like a motherfuckin truck driver
Sing Well?: I'd like to think so...
Shower Daily?: yup, occasionally twice
Want To Go To College?: hopefully
Want To Get Married?: If it's legal
Believe In Yourself?: Rawr
Get Motion Sickness?: *Barfs*
Think You Are Attractive?: On good days
Get Along With Your Parents?: yep
Like Thunderstorms?: *CRASH* YAY
Play An Instrument?: used to take flute, now it's guitar
Own An IPOD?: My precious
Pray?: no
Go To Church?: Temple!
Sleep With Stuffed Animals?: Yes. :)
Keep A Journal/Diary?: Only this
Dance In The Rain?: yes!
Sing In The Shower?: YES!
THIS OR THAT

Pepsi or Coke?: Coke
McDonald's or Burger King?: neither
Single or Group Dates?: Single.
Chocolate or Vanilla?: mix them together please!
Strawberries or Blueberries?: raspberries
Meat or Veggies?: veggies
TV or Movie?: depends...
Guitar or Drums?: Guitar
Adidas or Nike?: neither
Chinese or Mexican?: Chinese
Cheerios or Corn Flakes?: Cheerios
Cake or Pie?: pie
MTV or VH1?: neither
Boxers or Briefs?: boxerbriefs!

CAN YOU

Do The Splits?: Yes!
Write With Both Hands?: not at all
Whistle?: Yep.
Blow A Bubble?: Yep
Roll Your Tongue In A Circle?. yep
Cross Your Eyes?: yes
Walk With Your Toes Curled?: Yes
Touch Your Tongue to Your Nose?: no
Dance?: like a white boy
Eat Whatever You Want And Not Worry?: I wish.

WHO WAS THE LAST PERSON

You Touched:: My mother
You Talked To On The Phone:: My friend K
You Instant Messaged:: IDK
You Hugged:: My unmentionable friend, XD
You Yelled At:: my mother
You Played A Sport With: My gym class
WHAT'S THE LAST

Time You Laughed?: When I was watching arrested developement
Time You Cried?: two days ago
Movie You Watched?: Sydney white (I don't care how cute Amanda Bynes it, that movie SUCKED)
Flavor Of Gum You Chewed?: mint
Joke You Told?: I don't really ever tell jokes, just funny stories about other people
Song You've Sung?: Closer to fine, the indigo girls
RIGHT AT THIS MOMENT

Where Are You?: in my study
What Can You See Out Your Window?: darkness
Are You Listening To Music?: always
What Are You Wearing?: PJs
What's On Your Mousepad?: invisibility

BELIEFS

Do you believe there is life on other planets?: I don't see how there can't be
Do you believe in miracles?: I'd like to
Magic?: no
Love at first sight?: who knows
God?: no
Satan?: Jewish beotch
Ghosts?: MWAHAHAHA... no
Santa?: when I was little
Evolution : of course

IN A BOY

Fav Eye Color:: chocolate
Fav Hair Color:: dark brown
Short or Long Hair:: in between
Height:: 5'7
Weight:: Not fat
Best Clothing Style:: whatever they like, not to tight, baggy or dirty please
IN A GIRL

Fav Eye Color:: blueish
Fav Hair Color:: purple
Short or Long Hair:: whatever
Height:: taller than me, but not by much
Weight:: don't care
Best Clothing Style: cute, but not overly preppy
RANDOM

What Country Would You Most Like To Visit?: Japan
Number Of CD's I Own:: Over 1000
Your Good Luck Charm: My ahavah necklace
How many pillows do you sleep with?: two
Do you drink milk?: not ofter
Person You Hate Most:: People who hate lot's of people, but only if the people don't deserve the hatte
Most Outdated Phrase: Psych! Jk, prolly... hell yea
Do you think God has a gender?: the having of a gender implies existence
Where do you think we go when we die? ______________
How many rings until you answer the phone?: Depends where I am
What is something scientists need to invent?: cures for AIDS and Cancer
Are you a health freak?: for some things
Are you a virgin?: yeah
If you could travel into space, where would you go?: I dunno
What is the worst weather?: bright sunshine, and when it's really crazy hot out
Did you play with Barbies as a child?: Yes
How many grades have you failed?: None

I've been feeling kinda mopey lately, I mean, I've been happy enough, but I guess I've just been feeling kinda lonely. This mostly stems from listening to love songs. Not the cheesy "I want you, need you" kinda things, but sweet ones, ones that were written with someone really sweet in mind. In particular, I've been listening to Genevieve by Girlyman and wishing that someday, someone would write me a beautiful song.
These days, that's what I really want in someone. I mean, sure someone fun and funny would be nice, and so would someone interesting (and pretty, I'm shallow, sue me) but above all of that is someone sweet, who just plays a little guitar, and can sing to me. Sigh.

Yesterday I had what I guess I would call a nervous breakdown, except that there was no reason for it, and it was me doing it. What I mean by that is I was in the car with my mom and we pulled up in front of our house and I started crying a screaming, but it wasn't me doing it, it was like watching someone else control my body from inside my head. It was one of the scariest experiences of my life, especially because I was thinking totally clearly so I was worried that whatever had control of my body was going to hurt me, or worse someone else. It lasted for more than half an hour, and when it was over I was really tired and scared.

I'm confused. The worst part is, I have no idea why. I mean, things are going pretty well for me lately, I haven't gotten in any fights with my friends, I've been getting all my homework done, and I might get to go see Girlyman TWICE IN THREE DAYS soon! But I'm still feeling really really confused about myself.
I'm bisexual, but I've discovered two things about myself that don't really make sense with each other, one is that I am attracted to guys WAY more often than girls, and the other is that the idea of straight sex absolutely repulses me, a little odd huh? Another thing is that I've realized that I really really really like my best male friend, but have a really good friendship and we've been friends for like, 10 years, and I don't think he likes me back and... ok this may in fact be the source of my confusion, but I think there's more to it than just that.
Anyway onto other things. I saw Juno. Then I bought the soundtrack. Then I saw it again. Now, I'm going to see Kimya Dawson perform songs from the soundtrack soon! I also finally bought Once on DVD, which is the only other movie I've ever seen in the theater more than once... heh. Anyway, for anyone who hasn't seen it, it is about a straight couple, but it's not just a cheesy love story and the music is really, truly amazing, I have been listening to the soundtrack at least once a day for the last six months, no joke. Plus all of the music was written and performed by the actors who are actually actors, but musicians who happen to able to act somewhat decently. So, it's amazing, please see it.
I have to go do my homework (bleh) but when I can actually bring myself to write coherently instead of in long nonsensical tangents, I will post about what has ACTUALLY been going on in my life.

I'm such a comments whore. Every time I come on here, I check my latest post to see if anyone has graced me with some witty commentary, supportive suggestions, or even a flame. I feel so pathetic doing this, but I just can't stop myself. So, anyway, my drama class is making a movie to submit to a film festival, and I'm really excited about it. It starts with a funeral, which sounds corny, but it's really awesome. Then it goes back to the death, which was a car crash, and then it goes to the life of the girl who died, and that whole part is about her exploring her sexuality when her best friend comes out to her, and tells her she likes her. It's gonna be really awesome, and I'm really excited!