I've been in a really weird place these past couple weeks. With finals around the corner and transferring to a new university in my near future I've been under a fair amount of stress. I've been using this as an excuse as to why I haven't been making the best decisions.

I don't know, lately I've been missing my ex. However the more I think about it, I'm not necessarily missing her but the concept of her. When I was with her I had that confidence of knowing "Hey I have a girlfriend, and she digs me.

Hi, I'm back now I guess. Whether it be for one reason or another I'll be writing on oasis again at least for a little while.

Yeah I'm gonna be leaving oasis here for awhile, I don't know I just kinda feel like my life has recently been turned on it's ear and I need to figure some things out. I've got alot going on now between work, school, etc. (I've decided to start a novel, something my teachers have been saying to do and I've wanted to do for awhile)

For those who care, you have my email or messenger.

Ok so yeah it's been awhile since I've posted here on oasis and it's mainly just because things have been going very weird for me. It's kind of like once I thought I had everything figured out it turned on me.

James is back finally!

Something terrible happened this past week, I lost my journal....

So it's been a week of firsts for me, well more like 2 weeks but who cares?

I've been dating James for coming on two weeks, we've been to the movies, out to lunch, and today he treated me to breakfast at a local restaurant. I've got to say these have been the best two weeks of my life, my first relationship with a guy and it's just going amazing.

After much anxiety and worrying over the result, I went and asked James on a date today and he said yes!

I've been a nervous wreck lately over my crush on James, wondering how to ask him, if he's single, am I positive he's gay or is my gaydar broken? (A friend told me he was, so I was almost positive), etc. Well today in class I got all my answers.

Ok so for the past couple months I've had a crush on this guy who my friend Nick introduced me to (before I came out to him). However, I never acted on this because at the time if I had it would have meant being forced out of the closet to Nick and that wasn't something I was ready for at the time.

Ok so this is a double edged sword sort of deal but here it goes...So after a couple weeks of trying to get scholarships I had one land on my doorstep. I'm an eagle scout in the Boy scouts and they offered me a half tuition scholarship to one of the colleges in my state that has a great teaching program.

Lately I've been hooked to that show Queer as Folk because blockbuster has made it so readily available. Now I'm about halfway into season two and I got to wonder "Is monogamy completely dead?". No one in the show stays loyal to their significant other at all. It just kinda portrays homosexual life as a series of "tricks".

I went to the bank this morning to buy my parents christmas gift, my siblings and I are giving them a night out and got some money on one of those Visa giftcard (something you have to buy at the bank and in person). Well I got there and was waiting in line like everyone does, waiting for the one teller to take care of me when I noticed something... I got passed up like 4 times.

This week is the start of finals at my college and once again the stress starts, but this time I'm going to do it without going back to smoking. The last thing I need is to start up that again and end up getting hooked, so we'll see how well I fare without my "sin sticks".

It's been a countdown of sorts this week. I was on the internet looking for information on schools SAGE (Straights and gays for equality) group and couldn't find any. Almost all the other clubs had links to their own site with info on them but SAGE didn't. Well I eventually googled it and found some info (on a st.