I came to the conclusion that I really really need a girlfriend. I'm lonely and in need of someone to cuddle with. Unfortunately, the only even remote option is 2 years older than me (it makes a difference when you're only 14). I'm totally obsessed with her, but I don't know if I have a chance. I really want to be with her and talk to her.
Well, I've feeling an ebbing sense of longing, like a tidal wave of sorrow. But nothing seems to strike as opportunity, all I can do is hope that I can have the joy of your love. And faith that I can see the good in everyone. For peace, I'l give up my pounding heart. For love, I'll sprout it in the dark. I've always wanted someone to guide me and show me what I've been asking for.
So, I have a crush on this AMAZING girl. She is beautiful, funny and nice.... She wears a rainbow belt and low-cut shirts.. She has these really cute black glasses and is always carrying an SLR camera atound her neck.
I wrote this song last night at 2 AM:
The Heartbreak Child
In my forest home, a small abode
The vines, they cannot move
The sweeping wind, it soothes
my crippled tongue
Everyone can see what’s in between
your eyes and what is happening
And all the air you breathe is in between
your eyes and all that’s meant to be
The way the sunlight comes through the trees
My friend, "L" slept over at my house last night. She's asexual, and we were talking for the longest time about how neither of us 'got it' when our friends said they had crushes on guys. We lay in my bed for hours and she kept telling me how amazing and perfect I was. she said that she didn't get why I hag out with her.
I came out to my parents yesterday. It was weird, I didn't feel any different, just more like myself. I feel like I can talk to them now, and not feel uncomfortable pretending to be someone I'm not. I came out to them yesterday mainly because I wanted to go to a queer support group called Outlet and I needed a ride. My parents are divorced, and it was my night at my dad's house.