So much tow write and nothing to say. Pointlessness. It's all so pointless. I was thinking today (well, that's all I do, really), that I would like to attempt suicide. Not seriously, or actually kill myself, but as a sort of social experiment..... I'm in a very happy place right now. Drug-Free, I assure you, but this is a sort of happy-like thing too.

I just realized that I'm going to see David Sedaris with my dad on Monday. I'm so excited, I've read all of his books, own many on audiotape, and have nearly memorized Me Talk Pretty One Day, because I've been reading it over and over again since I was about 9. Also, there's a Tegan and Sara concert I want to go to on December 6th.

We had a choir concert thing on Sunday. Both of my parents came to watch, and my dad said that, "it was so touching." It made me want to punch something. I went home with my mom and watched the Red Sox win the last round of the playoffs and opened presents for my birthday. My mom got me this amazing long black coat with big brass buttons and a cool collar.

My mom spoils me rotten. She buys me whatever I want and beyond. For my birthday (which is on Monday), she took me and a couple of friends to Teatro ZinZanni. It was an amazing experience. There was a big show with brilliant contortionists, comedians, and singers. Also, the food was great for the weird vegan child. It was.....indescribable, really. All of the costumes were amazing.

I went to GSA today. it's always really fun, and there's this one girl who always makes jokes out of everything. They talked about this gay Halloween dance/drag fashion show that's tonight and asked who was going. About half the people raised their hands. I've been looking forward to it for about a month, and emailed my dad last night asking him if I could go. He didn't really answer.

Uggh. That pretty much sums up my life. Or my lack of one. I have realized that the reason I don't hang out with people much out of school isn't that I lack the social skills to do so, but that I just don't want to. I get overwhelmed by over-socialization e.g. not getting home until 9:30 and having to talk to other people the entire fucking time. Also, I went to the Music Man auditions.

Wow. I'm in school right now. We're having "College Awareness Day." So far, it's been very amusing. We had to set up Naviance accounts. It's like a planning for college thing. We also had to take an evaluation that asked us how serious we were about attending college. I have nothing against the idea of college in general, but when they force in on us like this, well, it's just laughable.

Okay. My freak out's over. But now I have a bunch of homework that I need to do, as well as writing lyrics to this one ~amazing, if I may say so myself~ song that I wrote. It's proving difficult. So. After school today, my step-dad and I went to the music store thingy and picked up my guitar. It was getting a pickup on it. Now I can record with my acoustic! Yay!

I was remarking to myself the other day (what, other people don't talk to themselves, too?) that I'm never home alone at my dad's house. It always seems that there's someone I really hate there, wandering the many brightly lit hallways trying (and succeeding) to make my life hell. My shrink is out of town this week, so I'm free directly after school today and wednesday.

So. I'm not exactly out to very many people at school. I recently put a pin (that I made, yay amazing pin-maker thingies) on my backpack. It says, "some of my best friends are heterosexual. People ask me what I'm talking about, and I tell them that half of my school last year was queer (it's true)...I get a strange look and they usually walk away.

So. I added 2 verses to the heartbreak child, because I made the last weird harmonizing part into a bridge. I'm still really mad at my computer, though, because I don't know why it won't recognize my guitar... Ugh. But I'm working on a piano part, and since I cant' really play the piano all that well, it's not working out that perfectly.... *cough*. Anyway, here's the song now:
*dim lights*

I'm really sick. I was okay enough to go to school yesterday, but today I could barely get out of bed. my entire body feels like a train wreck. My computer won't recognize my guitar thing so i can record, and my ipod speakers are gone..... I'm really pining for Tegan and Sara.... I'm hot and cold and hot and then cold again, and now I'm just too tired to take off my fuzzy robe.

Okay, I just have to obsess for a moment. Oh my god!!! The Yankees lost today, which means they're out of the playoffs!!! HAHA!!! And the Red Sox are going on to the next round!!! Yeah!!! Okay, this is where all my support goes when I'm not gushing over the school football team.... :-) Me happy now... Me Soooo Happy XD

My weekend was... Interesting... Well, it was one of my good friend's birthday on Friday. I went with her and some of her theater friends to a Halloween store and then to see Across the Universe. I can see why she told me to see it. It was brilliant. One of her friends gave her this disgusting doll that's supposed to "rattle and coo" or something like that, but it actually speaks Gaelic....

Okay.... Well, I found out today that STTB has a boyfriend (she's bi).... A girl walked into choir and started going on an on about how it wasn't fair(she likes the guy) and that STTB is gross and mean.... Well, she's been ignoring me these past few days, and I was actually relieved not to have seen her today. I realized that I only ever really liked being liked, I didn't actually like her....