i came out to my parents

the_loser — Sun, 15 Nov 2009 10:35:09 +0300

Only because my girlfriend's parents found out. I was freaking out and hyper-ventilating and everything and my hands went numb. I knew my parents wouldn't care. We were in the car when I told them. They're both fine, my dad said "I suspected a long time ago anyway" and that he was waiting for me to tell them and he's happy I decided to. They both love me the same way and my dad even said "In these days it's not that big of a deal, I mean, WHOOPDEE DOO" it makes me so happy. They kept reassuring me but I was still super freaked out and cried for a bit. This was a couple weeks ago.

fucking parents

the_loser — Sat, 24 Oct 2009 10:49:55 +0400

My girlfriend's parents found out about us. It wasn't as bad as we thought, they are OK with it, but they don't encourage it. They met me once hardly, and they're already judging me. They won't let us sleep over at each other's houses anymore, even though we have every weekend for the past month before they even knew. It doesn't make any sense. They're stupid. Right now it is the saddest thing. I hate them.

solidity

the_loser — Mon, 12 Oct 2009 20:51:47 +0400

My best friend came over on Friday and we haven't hung out in months. We barely even talk. We don't fight and we haven't fought but sometimes we just go long periods without talking to each other and it doesn't help that her new house doesn't have signal so she can't text. I always think she has plenty of other times to text me because she goes to school each day, she has a car and can drive, and sometimes I get sad because she knows where I am. I'm here. And she can't find time to talk to me or come over. But hopefully that will change now.

breaking benjamin

the_loser — Fri, 02 Oct 2009 04:23:05 +0400

has a new cd :O :O :O
my favorite band.

I have a girlfriend now :D
It's been one year since I started liking her. It's been 11 months since we started talking.
She's coming over tomorrow :D :D :D :D
The weekends are all I look forward to, it's the only time we see each other, for now anyway. I'm excited.

first kiss

the_loser — Sun, 27 Sep 2009 06:45:40 +0400

First kiss.
First girlfriend.
First lover.
First day of my life.

im a liar and a cheater

the_loser — Sun, 13 Sep 2009 10:08:56 +0400

in prison, accused of telling the truth.

don't you leave me alone

the_loser — Fri, 11 Sep 2009 08:41:46 +0400

im getting depressed again.

WHEN I COME AROUND

the_loser — Tue, 08 Sep 2009 13:44:22 +0400

I'm a loser and a user so I don't need no accuser to try and slag me down because I know you're right SO GO DO WHAT YOU LIKE

i love that song.

Tonight is the last official night of summer o_o and what did I do? HOMEWORK T_T but that's ok, I wasted plenty of other days not doing homework. Tomorrow I'll finish it. I'm halfway done. Tomorrow I'll be going to bed semi-early, it kinda sucks. At least I don't have to go to school until around 1130, yay sophomores :P

yesterday to tomorrow

the_loser — Sun, 06 Sep 2009 11:25:54 +0400

Where did my best friend go? I'm lonely. Pitifully lonely. It makes me want to cry. It's funny when you have someone you don't mind being lonely, you like it. When you don't have anyone, when you don't have anything for comfort, to fall back on, you hate it. At least I do. I don't know what happened. Nothing is wrong.....but at the same time everything is wrong. I feel abandoned and like she doesn't even care about me. I don't even care about me. But still, what did I do wrong? I don't know anymore, but I'm sad. I have other friends. But it's not the same.

reckless abandonment

the_loser — Fri, 04 Sep 2009 08:46:59 +0400

So we finally hung out. And I had three of my other friends over. And then they left. And it was just me, her, and my other friend. They spent the night. We watched five movies. FIVE it was six in the morning when we went to bed. We sat together but.....I think we were both too nervous to do anything. We didn't really touch at all. But she slept in my bed. And after twenty minutes of laying there without moving I finally put my arm around her and she held my hand around her waist and it was like that most of the night. And it's the first time I've felt another human being's warmth.

no title

the_loser — Fri, 28 Aug 2009 09:50:36 +0400

I'm in the middle of watching a movie, but a sudden idea occurred to me that popped into my dark and noiseless mind urging me to write it down. Or type it.
It feels to me like everyone around me has someone. Everyon has another being in which to share their actions and emotions and happiness with. I don't mean a lover. Maybe I do, but mainly I guess I mean a simple friend.

UGH`

the_loser — Tue, 04 Aug 2009 11:45:07 +0400

teenage angst's a bitch.
i HATE it.
im bored. i have a lot of caffeine flowing through my veins at the moment. my mind is rather calm, despite that. i think perhaps im a bit anxious. i feel pretty bitter.
craig ferguson makes me so happy though haha, he's hilarious :D

just take me there.

the_loser — Thu, 23 Jul 2009 14:07:25 +0400

We have a long way to go.
It's a bit difficult for me to lay in bed at night. I've never had a lover before, so it's not like I know how it feels. But I can imagine. And for ten months I've imagined it enough. And I wish she could be laying next to me and I could hold her and look at her. I've wished it so much. I never knew I could have so much passion or feeling invested in one individual thing, or person. It's amazing. And at the same time it's terrifying. I guess I'm still trying to work out how I'm supposed to react.

i wish i was special

the_loser — Wed, 22 Jul 2009 08:47:13 +0400

you're so fuckin special.

Dear mr. razorblade,
How I've missed you so. I know you've missed me as well. Our departure was an emotional one I can tell because when you touch me I cry red tears. I think our meeting will be longer this time. I'm sorry we had to leave each other.

FIRST DAY OF MY LIFE

the_loser — Fri, 17 Jul 2009 14:02:04 +0400

she loves me back. o_o