so i just found out this kasey whom i am totaly crushing on is bi. But that kinda makes me uneasy because i mean shes a freshman and mabee shes just trying it out or saying it so she can look cool, or mabee she rly is idk im over thinking it like i do everything else in my life. I need to talk to her about it but i dont want to ruin the friendship were building and were on flag corp. Together (unneeded tention) ugh i just wish things were simpler or mabee just that my mind wouldnt be in overdrive all the time analizing things over and over and over.ugh.... On the bright side drum and bugle corps international is live in theatres tomarow and im going with Corry Em Kirsten and of course Kase. So yeah more over active analyzing for me... Thoughts?

so this past week has been crazy i am totaly and utterly worn out.You would think that goin into my third one id be used to it and know what to expect but man i worked muscles i never knew i had no lie.And the sun was relentless i am very crispy right now.Our show is beethoven this year i know it sounds boring and lame but its not,its a very good arangment.Im also super excited cuz this year we have 3 guard instructers.There all verry different and very cool.But my favorite part of this week was deffinatly going to cedar point yesterday.Oh my god i have never seen so many roller coasters and such big ones in my entire life.And i just had to ride the biggest fastest rides.I rode the friggin dragster that thing shoots you off at 125 mph and you seriously corkscrew straight up for like ever then straight back down doing another corkscrew.The ride takes 20 seconds but it was the best natural high of my entire life.But the best part was the fact that kacey was right there with me.it was one of the best days ever.

So band camp started today :] im supper excited to work my ass of ..... I know im and uber nerd.....my feet already hurt and im tierd but i get to go to cedar point on sat so im happy....

lol i went to the movies with my to best friends em and theo today we wnt and saw hancock.... It wasnt what i expected but it was still great i liked it alot... Then we went back to theo's house and played rock band (for some odd reason i always get stuck singing it sucks) then theo and his brother decide it would be funny to teach me how to play call of duty 4 (or something its the newest one 4 ps3) but i must have been hidding some shooting game skills cuz i beasted them both and everytime i killed them they called me an asshole and i kept saying call me an asshole one more time(hence the title) and they did and i killed them so lol.......

oh and i almost died in his front lawn while leaving cuz it was raining and i slipped and fell on the concreet ...

so about 10 minutes ago i was sitting at my computer on itunes while eating my RAMEN! Any who i relized that i can get the audio version of empress of the world read by serah ryan herself for free(i had to keep myself from sqeeling in joy) so im like in the middle of putting it on a cd so i can transfer it to my zune (i know very time consuming but worth it) so im supper excited!!!!

its been a while my friends and amigos almost a year and ive been reading my old journals and i was like wow ive grown up quite a bit. Inststead of being a freshman im getting ready to be a junior who will be helping incoming freshman (i was accepted into my schools mentoring program called Link Crew) and now my parents are mostly accepting the fact that im gay .... But most my older southern baptist family members still dont know cuz im afraid they might just try to disown or smite me. so my band director who ive known since 7th grade(im in orch and he taught us there b4 he got the all encompasing job at my high school... Pluss im in the color guard which marches with the band) quit and went upstate for a bigger band and 2 times the sallary and were getting a new guard coach... Guess thats what happens :P

Your industrial is a bar that goes through the top right part of your ear down to like the midle left part of your ear and promptle exits out the side/back part of your ear (fyi im discribing this from the left ear)

So i just got my industrial pierced like 2 hours ago and i relized that when you chew gum it moves your ear which kinda hurts.... But i L.O.V.E it its amazing and also the first hole rly didnt hurt but the second one hurt like a bitch whats up with that but yea i got to go clean it so i dont forget later bye oasians

I dont know why but i feel like my heart has gotten ripped out and put back in with a little peice missing... Idk lately i feel like my own freinds are startin to shun me or something... Like i try to talk to them and make nice and everything tell them whats goin on and they just dont listen.. It hurts ..it realy does bad... Ive even started cuttin again it feels like its the only way.. I hate being in this place i feel like im hopeless i never wanted to come back, to start again but i have... It just hurts on the inside.. I just want my freinds back my life back.. Thats all

okay im in this weird mood right now its like this depressed hyper feeling and idk its weird all i want to do is crawl under the covers and sllep but body is like no your not alowed to so yea idk its kinda weirding me out right now but any who i broke it off with the gf this mornig kinda sad kinda not ... im just like a whirlwind of emotions right now .....

Okay this might sound lame in all but today i guess my mom knew i was feeling depressed so she was like im goin to myjers ya wana go .. Of course i was like no thanks and crawled back under the covers ..... When she gets back she calls me down stairs cuz she has something for me lo and behold its the neverending story 1 and 2 on dvd omg those are my 2 favorite storys EVER im excited YAY!!

You said it didnt matter that there would always be a you and me i can still hear your laughter its ringing in my ears like the after affects of your last show i trusted you with all my fears you protected me, sheltered me in turn i would shower you with my only posesion love. but then you changed you went away i was left alone in this hole called life i tryed to recover, i realy did but it just wouldnt work now i feel like a jigsaw puzzle with a missing peice forever waiting to become complete i had wished you would come back then i saw you with her... ??comments??

so i just got home from my trip to kentuckey i officialy hate sitting i want to go run around or do like some jumping jacks ...something to get me moving.....anywho i am like mego les people in kentuckey who ive never even met were like are you a les... I about died ..i didnt think i was that flaming ...gosh .also one of my like 6th cusins is uber hott .... Gosh im like the evil perv.........parents are now treating me like i have the plegue or somethin gosh ....... The whole way to kentucky(5hours!)the only thing they said was you have to pee ..... Gosh that made my day crappy ......... Oh i officialy hate my cat it like puked all over my bed while i was gone now all i can do is like sleep on the floor till i can get all my crap washed ....gosh today is not my day..

So yeah this is my first one of these things so here goes nothing ... So i came out to my parents last week..i kno perfect timming dill weed right befor easter anywho..they already knew they just insisted on hereing it straight from me this had been the cuase of many fights and tension between us and last week i finaly gave up and said whatever im a lesbian there you already knew now you know from me ....they go and act all surprised evern they had just been yelling at me so i was just like what the hell you already knew you were just in serios denial so what is wrong with you .....you know what they say ohh we just thought it was a phase you were going throuh....what did we do to make this way... I almost flipped out i was like i didnt chose to be this way and you sure didnt make me this way i was born gay just like you were born straight..........any ways im think im in love with my best friend only she doesnt kno...