Okay I keep hearing shit about a pole shift, and giants and Nibiru and shit, and in my opinion, it's all a big load of bull shit. First off, it goes against everything Darwin said about evolution. Second off, why would giants have sex with someone as small as humans. Third off, they wouldn't be able to, cuz the giants Penis would be too small to put into a humans Vagina, and even if it was the other way around the humans Penis would be too small to be go deep enough to get the giants pregnant. Plus they wouldn't have a relationship together since it's highly unlikely that two completly different species speak the same language.

But anyways, the theory is that Nibiru, the planet of the giants is going to come back close to Earth which will totally throw off the Earth's magnetic field and cause earthquakes, volcanic eruptions, droughts, etc. Anyway I still say it's a whole bunch of bull shit, but w/e. I love ya'll byez byez ppl.

Ello mates, me! Well I have news for my people. I am still with Chloe, I am still in love Ashley, but but but but but buuuuuuut, I like my best friend Diana. She is El Salvadorion, and everyone who is dedicated to my blogs knows that I have a total thing for Hispanics. But I'm not really crushin on her for looks, I'm crushin on her cuz of her personality. I told her Thursday when we went to this play about Anne Frank. She took it well. I think she's bi. We wrote this note and this is how it went:

Me: If I'm gonna be sad for the next couple of days don't be mad at me.
Diana: Why would you be sad?
Me: Because I want to date two people here, and neither one of them will go out with me.
Diana: Who do you want to go out with?
Me: You and Ashley.
Diana: Why can't you go out with us?
Me: Because I'm pretty sure both of you are straight.

After that she just took it, folded it up, and looked at me and smiled. I asked her what she was looking at and she said she was just thinking. I don't know if it was a good thing of a bad thing but either way, it made me feel specail. I hope to dear God that I'm not falling for her. I've fallen in love 3 times in the last 3 years, and I really don't need to be in love with three people at once. I think I'm going to take her to the movies either Friday or Saturday. You and your gay asses better hope for the best for me. I know I can't date three people, but dear God I want to.

I have to wait until Monday. I have to wait to see her face. Hear her laugh. Tell her the truth. I've pretty much slept all day. Time goes by faster when you're totally knocked out. I know her number. I could call her, but i want to tell her in real life. When we have some privace, ya know?

I really really love Chloe. But I really really love Ashley. It's just so confusing. I have no one to talk to about this. No one to help me make this decision. None of my friends ever try to help me with any of my relationship problems. I don't know who to go to. Charlie won't help. Gina won't help. Jodee doesn't even know. God damn. I have no idea who to go to. No one even tries to help. This blog doesn't even help and that was the whole point in me getting on oasis in the first place. This is my last journal entry. I give up no one can help.

Allright, I want to warn everybody. Tomorrow the final choice is going to be made. Everything is relying on tomorrow. I love Chloe. But I love Ashley.

Okay besides that since I'm not sure yet, I almost told Ashley. I was with her today after school. I held both of her hands, looked her in the eye, and choked. I couldn't do it. My heart was beating so damn fast I thought my lungs were going to shrink into the size of an acorn. I wanted to tell her so bad. On the last day of school last year I told her I liked her. But then at the beginning of the year this year I told her to forget about it. Now I have to tell her again.

Last year though I just txt her and this year I'm actually going to say it with my own voice. I have to wait till Monday though, cuz confrences are this week. I'm scared.

I saw Jazmin during our school picnic....I sware to God, she looked like Vanessa. Exactly like Vanessa. I fainted. I still feel light headed. Other things are going on between me and Chloe but I don't wanna talk about it. I feel icky. I threw up earlier.

I miss her. I wonder what she's doing. I feel drunk. Random even. Six divided by two is three. I miss her a lot. I wonder what she looks like now. Maybe her hair changed back to brown. Her nickname was Caramel.
I wonder if it still is. I miss her. I wonder if she's a good kisser. I miss her hugs. Her voice. Her hair. That stupid red shirt that said I LOVE YOU in spanish.

I haven't died yet. But I would if I didn't have Chloe. I can survive without Vanessa, but I know I can't without Chloe. I love her voice. Her hair. Her sweetness. Her softness. Her whole personality. Her nickname is Candycane. I made it up. I love it. I feel sick. I'm confused. I miss Chloe. We can't talk right now. Chloe Nicole Oxendine. Bobbi Jo Oxendine. Her name sounds better. But I still love mine. I know it's meant to be. I have to get ready. Movies tonight. Nite people.

The bruise is still there. It's like a rainbow cuz it's red at the top, purple at the bottom, and has all the colors in between. It hurts like hell and yesterday Jesse Belle hit me on my shoulder cuz she forgot and it hurt really really bad....

I've been sick for weeks. My mom thinks its because of my birth control so I'm just going to stop taking it. I felt so icky today I just stayed home, my doctors appointment is tomorrow anyway. I feel like shit. I'd rather have ground shaking period cramps for three days than be sick for the rest of my life. I had a fever this morning. It was like 99 degrees I think. The hell if I can remember. In a couple minutes I'm prolly gonna go in my room and wrap 3 blankets around me, get my Mexican pop, and watch Pokemon Forever. Even though it always makes me cry.

I'm not sure how to say it this but....I think I'm bi. Or lesbian. Okay I know I'm one of the two. I think I'm somewhere in between. I have no idea. I could of like one of my friends that I've known for a couple years. I don't really know why I like him. You'd think that after all the things black people have done to me that I wouldn't even be friends with him. No, I'm not racist. Just trust me I have a very good reason not to like them. I don't have any idea whatsoever, why the hell I like him. I think it may have something to do with the fact that I just like certain black guys. I can't even picture myself being with a white boy. The thing is the black guys at my school are a lot nicer than the white boys. But anyway it's not like I would date him or anything but I just kinda sorta like him. I'm so confused....I have to shut up about this, I'm only getting more and more confused.

I know why I get the mexican pop though. It's kind of in the shape of a Bacardi bottle, and I used to be like kind of an alcholic so yeah. The Jamaica shit is especially strong so it kind of helps. I just don't get hangovers which I'm happy about. I miss the taste of Bacardi Silver though. Imma go do that thing with the blankets and the movie now...buh bye......

My mom was on the phone with the dentist trying to make an appointment for me and I was chasing her through the house trying to get her to hang up. But then she went outside, and I push the screen to get the door open but it broke so I ran my shoulder into the frame. I have a big bruise about 2 inches in diameter......

Chloe nearly broke up with me today. Okay she did. See I had to go at 8 cuz Mom was going to take Ami to her fiancee's house and they were gonna go to McDonalds on the way and I was really hungry. So I went and I got home around nine and right when I got home Chloe called. She broke up with me, I cried my eyes out so bad I needed my inhailer and on the way home I was thinking of ways to make it up to her for just leaving her like that. My plan was to call her and sweet talk her into a really good mood. And if her phone was off I was going to leave her a great voicemail the first time, and then I was going to call her back a second time and do something that I knew would put her in a great mood. No it wasn't perverted or anything like that, just something sweet I do on occasion. And in the morning when she called instead of letting her go so I could go back to bed like usual I was going to stay on the phone with her for atleast half and hour. I told her all of this and I guess she figured out somewhere along the line that I DO love her and I do wanna be with her. So we are together foreva!!!!!

I got up at 4:50 this morning so she could call and I would be in a good mood. I got totally dressed for school and when she called I was really happy and actually awake. The at six thirty I went downstairs while I was still on the phone and told my mom to get up. That was when she told me I had to go to therapy at nine thirty so I didn't have to get up. Then when therapy was over my ear started to hurt so Mom took me back to the doctor for the second day in a row. They still said I have migrains, and it's due to a slight ear infection that they gave me medicine for. I also learned that I have TMJ. I'm not sure what it is but I have something wrong with my jaw so I can't really open it all the way and it locks sometimes when I'm eating. That's why I gotta go to the dentist.

I think that about wraps it up. I have no school tomorrow cuz the whole district is having a meeting. I do wanna go to bed though. Good night fellow Oasians!

P.S.-I'm a total geek and I love pokemon, especially the games. Today I told Chloe and I thought she would think I was geek but guess what.....she likes it too!!! Now we can be a geeky lesbian couple! Yay for me and Chloe!
(Me doing my happy dance!)

Does anone actually read these? If not I'm just going to stop posting....

Okay normally I hate morning and me and Chloe don't talk in the morning but we did today and I hope we will tomorrow too. It's up to me cuz if I'm tired she'll have me go back to bed, and if I'm happy like I was this morning we'll talk. Yesterday was, like, a really good day. We got along just fine, didn't talk too much we just enjoyed being together. It was really sweet, she's been the best girlfriend in the world for the last couple of days. I mean she's been totally perfect! Happy face!!

I've been a bitch to her lately so last week I promised her that I would try to be better as much as I could. Yesterday I asked her if I held up to that promise and she said I did but I have no idea. The only reason I believe her is because I've been telling her how much I love her and we haven't been fighting. She talked to my mom the other day and my mom said that she could come up, but mom would have to go meet her first. She told Chloe that when she comes up for Christmas to call her from wherever she is and she would go and meet her.

Speaking of mothers, my baby told her mama! Well actually she did the same thing I did and copied one of the poems off of here and emailed it to her mom. Her sister almost went into labor two months early last night, so her mom went with her sister to hospital and didn't get back until early this morning, like one or something. She always goes online while Chloe's at school so she will see it. Honestly, I'm not that worried about it, after like 5 hours on the phone everyday to one person you'd think she would have some idea, right? I mean my parents did. Well this is all I could spueeze in I got to go.

I've actually never looked at her just to see what she looked like in her underwear. I know I said I did but I was runnin outa things to type. She dressed out next to me today cuz we had gym today, and I sware to the first gay person of the world that I didn't look. When we do talk I look her in the eye, just like I do everybody else. I feel bad though...my gf read this and now she's depressed and mad at me even though she promised not to read it again.

I feel horrible though, I told Chloe that I liked Jazzy cuz I always thought she would be happier if I told her the truth than if she later found out that I was lying, even if the truth hurt. Maybe it would have been better just to keep my goddamn mouth shut.

Today Mom took me to tasty taco's and ya know in my city you don't see many gay ppl here, but these two guys were like totally out. Especially the emo dude cuz he just walked right up to the guys ass and totally GROPED! He didn't tap he groped, and even though it was akward for me I was happy cuz they weren't ashamed of who they were, which makes me feel bad cuz I don't have anyone to be out with. Dammit.

Last week I promised Chloe that I would stay home tonight cuz it's movie night but she just wanted us to have a night alone. Of course I have bad luck though so instead of it just being going to Paul Revere's we are going to a movie tonight, and my Mom is making me go cuz I don't spend time with Dady anymore. I'm spending the night at Dad's tonight and coming home tomorrow. On the plus side of all of this though I get to pick the movie......ok nevermind, it didn't help any.

I went to go see the phyciatrist today for my first appointment and I thought it was gonna be a girl. Don't you think that if your doctors last name was Nightingale that they would prolly be a girl? I know thats stereotypical but yeah. My parents got the times wrong so I was there for two hours. On the bright yet dim side, there was this really, really, really adorable baby in the waiting room. She was just all sleepy and stuff, she completely zonked out every minute of so. But then the four year old at the coloring table would scream and then she would cry and then the older kids would turn their headphones on to drown out the noise. I miss Chloe right now, I now she's mad and her minutes ain't free but I want to talk to her so bad. Okay now I've gotta go, ciao!

Okay so the main thing about this journal is this. I like Jazmin. I'm still with Chloe and I know it's gonna stay that way. But I really, really, really like Jazzy. I've liked her since sixth grade I just never admitted it. Now I'm happy though cuz she is right next to me in the locker room. She looks great in her underwear. I know I have a gf but she's like totally not here so i like totally can't look at her.

I realized something today though, everyday she seems more and more like Vanessa. Maybe that's part of the reason I like her, but if so it would be a very very small portion of the reason of why I like her. She's really changed she's nicer, sweeter, more honest. I mean two years ago she never would have told me things like this. Last year she tried weed and this is what she said about it. "All I did was like cough, and cough....and then I coughed some more, and then I threw up." It was actually kind of funny the way she says things though. Jazzy has these amazing black eyes, totally pitch black. I makes her seem I don't know...sexy.

Well I'm getting in trouble for being online cuz my mom wants it. One more thing, right now we have my Grandpa's giant astro van and when he gets back from Uncle Todd's house we get the pearl white THUNDERBIRD!!!!!!!!!!! In of which is actually our car.......

...and it's still prolly gonna be boring. I got over my strep throat now I'm just tired. Quite honestly like six A.M. is my only free time. After this I have to go get my clothes, find my backpack, do something that will stay private, and then go to school. And for those of you wondering no the private thing is not perverted. When I get home from school I got homework to do, a room to clean, hamster bedding to take out and put back in. It actually takes me a long ass time to do that. My mom came up at 5 30 and she fell asleep on the sofa so now I gotta wake her up. Okay I just realized that I was totally ranting.

The perfect world has chao from Sonic Adventure 2 Battle roaming the world, cute puffy pet dragons, self-cleaning hamster cages, and dr. pepper sented candles. And you can't forget about the really hot lesbians feeding each other cherries. Thank you Chloe, for sending me that picture. I feel better now...

Okay so on saturday i was like complaining about my throat so mom took me to the doctors and they said i had strep throat and a cold. I still have a fever and I've taken two perscription pills and an over the counter so you'd think that the fever would have gone down atleast a little but noooo. Well my social workers and my lawyer are gonna get here in like 15 minutes and my gf is sick so my day is going horribly wrong.

Me has to go cuz me needs to go get ready and then me gonna go nite nite........................................

It's like 6:02 last year I would've just gotten up two minutes ago. But nooo, now I get up at 5 a.m.. There are benefits to it though so atleast I'm not doing for some stupid ass reasons. I get up that early to say good morning to my gf and also because I meet Charlie at school at 6:45. My dog walked in on my mom while she was taking her bath....I feel so sorry for him. But then when she got out all he did was follow her dammit. The dog don't follow me, he loves his grandma more than he loves me. Asshole.......

I need to go though, my medicine is calling for me. grrrrrrrr

My mom is obssessed with spaghetti o's. It's kind of sad. Me and Chloe are really good, we haven't fought in a while so we're both happy bout that. We get along really well since I can remind her to take her deppresion pills every morning and she can remind me to take my birth control, so we aren't emotional wrecks! YAY!!!!

I got 6 sippy cups! I love sippy cups, they are so fucking cool. I don't care if I'm 13 I still love them. I went to the doctor the other day because my mom said I acted pregnant cuz I wasn't takin my birth control right. So we got there the intern came in I told him i was moody, had major migrains and I had been really nauseous. I didn't spell that right, but it's that icky omg-im-totally-gonna-barf feeling. The intern said I needed to have a papsmear done but I threw a fit becuase I'm a virgin and obviously I'm gay so yeah. I told him that the only reason he wanted to do a papsmear was cuz he wanted to see my pussy. His face turned red and Dr. Carny told him and mom to leave. She took one look at my arms and thought I was suicidal so she asked me if I was thinking about killing myself because of the baby. In the end she said I needed a phyciatrist and to go back in 2 weeks if the symptoms progress. So that went reasonably well.

I think I put this in my last blog but oh well. One night grandma took Bear, my dog, for a walk and this other dog attacked him. Bear cut open his foot on the fence so that's infected and he got medicine for it but they didn't give it to him right. They being my dad and my grandmother. So Bear lives here but we took him to the vet to get him a flea bath, a flea shot, and to get groomed. He is still going to have his mohawk and he will have a bow somewhere in his fur, on his head. Thing is though we need to get a hold of grandma becuase she still has all of my money so we need her to get my dog out of there. Well I've got to go cuz I guess we need to go track her down. Ciao.