I haven't posted on here in forever because I haven't needed to. I remember someone posting a while back on how this site is mainly useful to those who are questioning/insecure/need someone to hear them when no one else will. Well, I'm secure in who i am, I have supportive friends, family, and a lovely girlfriend, so I'm set. This site has been ever so helpful to me and I owe a lot of who I am to the people on this site who helped me feel more comfortable about myself.

Ah I really don't use this thing anymore.

I was listening to The Little Ones and this one song ("Oh MJ") reminds me of this site. Not any connection in lyrics or anything, just that I listened to that song a lot back in the day when I posted on this frequently. So, I decided to pay a visit.

The last time I posted was in July. Dang. Do you remember?

The night before last I had a dream that I had a new girlfriend. But that was all after a huge wave came in and dug out a cliff on the shore and took all our beach items. Nah, this was later, after that, in a shack-like beach house.

Having an ipod will be great... when everything is done. It's only on the Cs and it's been running for over an hour. Whew. Easier than uploading disc after disc though.

I can't wait until I just have a day to sleep, eat, do some chores, sleep, draw or paint or write music, and just lounge, without a damn thing to do. This week has been jam-packed with activites and it won't end until Monday.

Ah I will no longer be a highschool student after today. I grow up today. I have to walk a straight line and sit between two tall guys for a couple of hours, recieve an empty case mimicking my diploma and then I get to have cake with family members and go hang out at C's beach house.

How convenient that my wireless reaches the backyard. I bought some tanning lotion at my work and some aloe lotion and now I'm all set to brown for the summer. Hopefully minus the skin cancer. I've sunblock on,t oo, though.

I was signing my friend's yearbook. It was block schedule for senior finals and I had art that morning with the girl who resembles Alexis Bledel [I forget her acronym... Z? do you remember? It's Z now]. K and B had it planned to tell people what we thought of them at the end of the year, though I really only had one in mind.

I got second place in our writing contest with the piece I wrote about realizing I was gay. And it will be in our literary magazine for all to see. Eat it up, conservatives. I'm queer, I'm here, get used to it!

Sex and the City is as long as Lord of the Rings, but has better fashion. I actually really quite liked it. Kept you interested. Oh, Mr Big.

I'm sure everyone had the day off school for Memorial Day. Yes, and I didn't have work! So we had band practice for a few hours, and that went while, minus our lead singer. He's always off doing something else. Rarely comes to practice. Sometimes we think he's not always truthful in his whereabouts. Eh. And on that topic, we think he's gay with his good pal. I'm crossing my fingers!

Upset because I can't write it out of my system. Because I can't sit down and just tell a story. Why can't I just sit down and write it out? I'm always stuck, always blocked. Lots to write about, no tongue to do it with. Perhaps I've overestimated my abilities in the past.

Time to rethink my future major.

I'm cutting it close, here, but I don't care about work. I have 45 minutes to shower and get ready. Eh. I wish I could quit and get a job I like. But really, what's out there? Is there anyone who actually likes their job?

For the past three nights I've had dreams all including a very cute straight girl. In two of them, she ignores me pretty much. Says things to me as an acquaintance would, casual, nonchalant. She asked me to get the pastel.

Before:

After:

I love it so much better short.