I am getting married. I haven't asked her yet, not officially...down on one knee with a ring in my hand, but...we've talked about it...and we're planning and i've found a dress...and I'm...excited...thrilled...over joyed...in the process of finding bridesmaids.... :]
♥

I will protect you. I will hide my weaknesses from you so that you believe I really am all you think I am. I'll tell people off for you. I'll defend you and never second guess it. I'll start fights for you, I'll lose friends.

Sometimes I feel so small. You hurt. Because of something I did. I pushed her into your arms and then, when I took her from you, I hurt you...Your name from her lips used to break my heart. So you're in love with my girlfriend. By her loving me, you hurt. She loves me because I wouldn't let her go. She hurts because you hurt and I hurt because she hurts.

I think I'm jealous...I have no right to be...But you always said that I was your first everything...First real kiss included...And I guess...maybe I feel like you lied...I know I can't compete. You loved her first...But what can I do but sit here and watch you hurt and not know how to change it?

Food tastes better at Shelby's...How strange...

Everybody keeps telling me that we're so cute together...It's kind of funny...I mean, usually people make comments on new couples...Not people who have basically been orbiting around each other for a year...

As you might have guessed, I'm AWAKE...I'm not sure why...But I am...I mean...I always have to get up and go to school...But I woke up at 4 am and then my brain went on over drive and I couldn't stop thinking or fall back asleep...so I called Shelby and woke her up :] So now she's about to fall over dead from lack of sleep...My body likes no sleep...Well, not really, but oh well...Oh man, now I'm

I'm in the process of writing a paper for one of my english classes. We have to describe a place thats familiar to us, but we can't use "you, my, me, your" etc...This is only my very beggining...
- - -

So I'm sitting in the library...Bored...wishing my mother would hurry up so that we can leave. I want to see my girlfriend, but short of a miracle, i doubt that it's gunna happen today, or even tomorrow....We've been fighting a lot...I want her to back off and let me handle my own life, but she says that she would love to, but I don't take care of anything.

I remember seeing her in another girl’s arms. That night almost killed me. I spent half of the stupid movie night for my school’s GSA out in the hallway, praying I wouldn’t break down. I panicked with the best of them, and then later that night I did. I thought there was no possible way that she could look that content and still love me…

Can you forgive me for the words I ever should have said?

Tis all.

I'm not sure why you've got this feeling that something is wrong. I love you.
- - -

I don't know what it is that I want to say tonight...

I want...
1.To live on the beach...So even on cold mornings, I can go kyaking...
2.To wake up in your arms every morning for the rest of our lives...
3.To start dancing again. Maybe this summer.
4.For Cody to stop flirting constantly with me. If I don't want him to touch me in real life...why is instant messenger any different? *punches*
5.To finish this list later...

I like that she can cry.
You see, I never cry.
Not really...
I may leak a few tears,
but I don't fall apart...
Sometimes I wish I could...
But I'm so out of practice.
You learn to stuff everything down in my house.
I never used to cry at all.
I used to cut...
I'm better than I have been,
but still, there's a long road ahead...
Some day, there will be no more running.