i feel like my girlfriend is a stranger.

i dreamt about him last night. his house, his babies, his wife. woke up in a cold sweat.

terrified.

This is from one year ago today. I like it. Missing my lover.

~~~~~~~~~~~
my lips are cherry popsicle pucker red
we made love in your bed.
cold showers on hot skin,
nerve endings sizzle all over again.
i squeak at your mere dirty suggestion.
touch me, don't touch me.
harder, fast, more, oh god.

3 hours later and it's never enough.

feeling like an incediblely big jerk. i'm worried about my fiance and if i'm pushing her into something and that i'm the reason she hurts because the reason she's so angry and wants to kill somebody is in part, due to me.

how do you know that you're doing the right thing when everything else feels wrong?

sometimes your unrealistic dreams that jeopardize all of the important things in our life hurt me.

life sucks.
personalitys being likened to flaming bags of poo makes me giggle.
i set a wedding date with my lady...April 2 of 2010. which might seem like a long time away...but it's only 9 months...i'm really excited.
but the rest of life sucks right now. except her.

so this morning....45 minutes before i have to wake up, after having gone to bed at 3 am...there was a HUGE boom and then car alarms went off and i made a mental list of what the fuck it could have been while hiding under the covers and trying to use my fiance as a shield. so now i'm standing in my girlfriends kitchen in my jammies eating a cinnamon roll and listening to the thunder. i love lunder when i have to go to work. the pools close and then they pay me to sit on my bum in an air conditioned office. did i mention that i have adhd and that sentence was REaLLY long? :]

my girlfriend is a master porn hunter.

Amy needs a stay-cation at somebody elses house. Or camping in the back yard or something.

my fiance has a tongue injury from going down on me so much in the last few days. but it was worth it. :] now im sad. no more lovin until it stops hurting?

If you married the last person you talked to,what would your last name be?
Luthy

Were you happy when you woke up today?
Yes. She was naked and spooning me :]

When were you on the phone last? And with who?
today, with SHELBY. aka WHEN I CALL OUT YOUR NAME DO YOU HEAR

What are you excited for?
um...my computer getting here on the 14th

What's the last thing you put in your mouth?
jack in the box ice

Have a best friend?
yes.

Are you scared to fall in love?
I am scared to fall OUT of love.

Do you think teenagers can fall in love?
Yes. I did.

mi familia esta aqui. :]

01) Are you currently in a serious relationship?
yesum...
02) What was your dream growing up?
um...to fly airoplanes.
03) What talent do you wish you had?
drawing...
04) If I bought you a drink, what would it be?
raspberry smirinoff
05) Favorite vegetable?
corn?
06) What was the last book you read?
A Verion of the Truth
07) What zodiac sign are you?
Gemmini
08) Any tattoos and/or piercings? Explain where.
7. 2 on each ear and my nipples and navel.
09) Worst habit?
which one?
10) If you saw me walking down the street would you offer me a ride?

noicannotusepunctuationandpropercapitilization

myfiancewantstobeaboy

rightnow

sheisagirl

dunnoifimbotheredorconfusedorworriedor

excited?

"The thing to realize, as you know, is that you don't choose to be gay. You're chosen."

Does that make us the chosen ones? You make me smile Jeff.